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creating a life of connection, grace and higher purpose

In this high-vibe Big Talk, I’m joined by entrepreneur, motivational speaker, and author of The Power of One More, Ed Mylett. We discuss the transformative power of being fully present in our daily lives, urging you to cultivate a deeper connection to the present moment. Oftentimes, people are stuck in their old stories of unworthiness and the false belief that the resources of the universe are scarce and finite. However, when we operate from a place of grace, truth and interconnectedness, there is abundance for all. Our conversation serves as a reminder that living authentically and with grace holds the key to unlocking our true potential and finding lasting fulfillment.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • How to embrace the concept of interconnectedness and overcome the illusion of separation
  • Practical tips for treating everyone with grace and compassion
  • How sharing vulnerabilities and imperfections can deepen connection and support healing
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Ed Mylett is a highly successful entrepreneur who has blended his unique experiences with a diverse set of practical strategies that have made him one of the most sought-after inspirational speakers in the world today.

As a young man, he attended the University of the Pacific in Stockton, California, where he was a three-time academic All-American before an untimely injury ended his dream of playing in the major leagues.

At his father’s urging, Ed became a counselor for disadvantaged children in what turned out to be one of the pivotal turning points of his life. It was there he first started to appreciate the importance of serving others and laying the foundation for success principles he would put into practice later in life.

Ed is a serial entrepreneur who has enjoyed considerable success in part through his unrivaled work ethic and ability to fire up people with his dynamic, high-octane presentations. Over the years, he has been involved in several tech, real estate, medical, and food ventures, among many others, leading him to be names a Success Magazine SUCCESS 125 most influential leader in 2022.

With a strong desire to help people, Ed began sharing his inspirational and performance strategies live and online. In four short years he amasses more than two million Instagram followers, wrote a best-selling book, and launched a popular weekly podcast. The Ed Mylett Show. Ed throughly enjoys engaging with his followers and is active on several social media platforms where his posts are viewed serval millions times each month.

As a keynote speaker, Ed has spoken ti millions of people. He is equally adept at delivering relatable strategies in intimate gatherings, to arenas filled with 50,00 people, or online to audiences in the hundrends if thousands.

Ed remains humble about his success, attributing his good fortune to his faith in God, his mentors, and the lessons his father taught him throughout life.

In his free time, Ed is an avid golfer, health, and weightlifting enthusiast. He and his wife Kristianna are proud parents of two adult children.

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This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

dear gabby #197 Mar 18, 2024 spiritual connection

how to be more present and live in the moment: big talk with ed mylett

[00:00:00] The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I'm not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

Hello, my friends. There is no question that we are living in quite stressful times and it's global. It's personal. It's all of us, including myself. We're all experiencing our own personal levels of anxiety. And I personally went through a journey of really uncovering all of the tools and the methods for finding serenity and peace inside.

It was really a life mission, I believe. [00:01:00] And the commitment that I've undergone to relieve anxiety has changed me forever. It changed me on a cellular level. And so I put together this really, really, really beautiful 14 day journey where I want to take you through my best methods for releasing anxiety.

And it's the 14 day anxiety relief challenge. And the beauty of this challenge is that it's very simple practices. 10 minutes or less a day. And they're practices that I want you to take with you, carry with you, have for the rest of your life. And these methods will give you instant relief from meditations, to EFT tapping, to releasing anxiety through your breath, through mindful practices, sleeping meditations, walking meditations.

It's all there. It's all inside here. It's 14 days. So if you're struggling with anxiety, I welcome you to join me on the 14 day anxiety relief challenge. Go to dear gabby. com forward slash [00:02:00] anxiety challenge. Join me today. That's deargabby.com/anxietychallenge. Let me support you on your journey to finding that genuine long lasting.

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Gabby. Gabby.

Gabby. Gabby. Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I'm your host, Gabby Bernstein. And if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you're ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let's get started.

Welcome back, my friends. Welcome back to Dear Gabby. Well, my friends, [00:03:00] I have a big one for you today, a big, big, big talk. There is an incredible human out in the world that you probably know. You've probably heard his successful podcast or read one of his books or had the privilege of witnessing him on stage, and his name is Ed Mylett.

Yep. Ed is a major entrepreneur, a motivational speaker, and author. And a very dear friend, one of those humans that when I connect with him, I just feel so deeply intertwined, I feel a strong bond. We haven't been friends that long, we've only met in person actually once. But the bond is so deep and we really only do big talk.

It just goes right into the big talk. We sat down together in LA. The conversation actually unfolded in some really surprising ways. He's vulnerable. He's beautiful. He's honest. He moved me to tears. We talk about the importance of being fully present in our daily lives and how to try to feel [00:04:00] more connection in those moments.

We give really clear, guidance on how to activate that presence and to really use that presence to help us create more deep relationships, manifest more, and most importantly, just feel better in life. So I strongly urge you to stick around to the end of this beautiful, heart opening, miraculous, and spontaneous video.

Big talk. I'll leave you with this, my friends. This is one for the books. Do not miss this big talk. It will open your heart. Just trust me, trust me, trust me. You're gonna be messaging me later being like, oh my god, Gabby, that was so good. Enjoy the show. When you're in the field of personal growth and spiritual development and all the things that we do, you gotta walk your f ing talk.

You do. Because, you know, you think, Oh, you know, like I'm not a celebrity. No one's watching, but actually you are a celebrity. People are watching and one, you have to walk your talk because [00:05:00] you want to be the person that you show up as. That's right. You want to be authentic. But also because you don't know who you're sitting next to at the airport.

By the way. Or who you're going to rear end. I would like you to explain this to my kids. Because I've kind of explained to them when we're out, hey, there are probably some eyeballs on us over here. Let's keep our act together. Let's stay in, stay on point. But at the same time, you know, it's really, if you're keeping your energy together, then whatever they do is what they do and you will.

Pretty good about it. But you're right. Every once in a while, I'll forget. What I stand for every human being does and you're like, you just need to be really, really smart because that rear end this dude today, he's probably not really excited that that happened. I'm not really excited to get happened, but I did get out of the car with like really good on the 405 freeway.

We didn't pull over. It's scary. They just stop traffic and I get out and walk out and he gets out and he goes, Oh my God, Ed Mylett. I'm like, thank you, universe. This is so fortunate. But the energy was good, right? Yeah. We vibrated at a similar frequency, probably because I hit [00:06:00] him at a particular frequency and then bam it.

Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, you were vibrating. We vibrated. Yeah. But I think that's also the message is meeting everyone with grace because wherever we are, whoever we encounter. This is how I live. I just treat every human exactly the same. Yes. Because, and this is, you know, this is a mature way of living. A lot of people live in a way where they're like, Oh, I see somebody that's going to get me something or they're special or I'm going to treat them in some special way.

Yeah. F that. I think every human being is as important as the next. And of course we all want to be like that, but I am like that. So you know how when you and I met we had that connection, right? Big connection. Okay. So 20 minutes ago. I just made a post on Instagram, almost verbatim what you just said, literally.

And I talked about giving people grace and extending kindness to people. And I actually said 20 years ago, I don't know that I understood that. So it is a maturity thing to some extent too, right? You feel better about yourself when you behave that way. And I said, even when there may be not. [00:07:00] Worthy of it in that moment.

Or it doesn't appear as if they are, they actually are worthy of it. And I literally said that give people grace, extend kindness to them, even in a situation where, because when I was younger, someone disrespected me or whatever it was, I wanted to ratchet it up. I remember one time I was having dinner with my dad and he's like, do you know how silly that was, what you just did?

And my dad was like a macho dude. And I go, what do you mean? He goes, just respect this, right? He goes, it's just dumb. He goes, Ed, someday we're not even going to be here. Like drop all this stuff. That's some male goofy thing you're doing. And I remember like, it was kind of silly. It's just better to be kind almost sometimes when you're kind of somebody who's not being that way to you, you frustrate them more and it feels good.

You transform them. I actually wrote about, I just submitted my 10th book, can you believe this? No, that's incredible. I just sent it in. Oh, actually you were, we were on a group text where you talked about that. I, you know, it was really a big deal for me to actually send that text because we're in, you and I are in this group, the Beach Gang group, and it's just like the most beautiful people on the planet that are in this amazing text chain.

And I'm not that active in the text chain, just, I'm just all over the place. [00:08:00] But I was like, you know what, there's a place in my world where exceptional people are holding space for each other. That's right. And I'm just going to go and. I'm going to celebrate myself with that. It was awesome. And I did it.

You know, since I've been in the group, I think that was like one of your first messages because I'm not, I don't message a lot in the group either. And I was like, my gosh, 10. And then what was cool is like to watch all the, yeah, all the love that came your way for that. By the way, that is incredible because I've had two books and I'm trying to write my third one right now.

The idea of writing 10 books is just, that's incredible that you're getting all these divine downloads that you've got to put this stuff in print as I suppose is how you feel about it. But yeah. Yeah. And where I was going with that was that there was a story in the book about a woman who I'd worked with, I'm getting into the book that's not even out yet, but there was a woman I worked with at one event or something and she had the shittiest resting bitch face the whole time, you know, and, and she just had the worst attitude and the whole time we were just rolling our eyes.

And then I was like, you know, Gabby, give her grace. And I started sending prayers to her and love to her. At the end of the day, she [00:09:00] quit me. She said, I don't know why, but your presence was so nice. And she said, I have really bad social anxiety, and it was really, I felt really comfortable with you. I was like, people are not assholes.

They're just f ing, they're suffering. They're experiencing something. So, okay, I'm gonna give you something back on that. Let's go into that. That was beautiful. I do that a lot. I just walk around strangers, I'll just, I'll say a prayer. Peace be with you. Like, I just, I don't feel good about that energy.

Right? So I don't know, maybe five weeks ago, I'm out to dinner with my family and there's a table next to us. It's a pretty nice place. There's a table. These children were going bananas. I mean, screaming in this restaurant, right? It's pretty nice place. Parents weren't really handling it. And at first I was like, Okay.
Okay. But then it got to the point where it was so loud and I almost didn't do practice what I preach. I was almost going to go, Hey, can someone, you know, what's going on? Watch your kids. You know, what's the story here for some reason I did exactly. So I said, I'm just going to pray for the family really quickly and give them grace.

Anyway, they eventually leave. This is like, I don't know, [00:10:00] 45 minutes later, they leave. It turns out that they were there because their grandmother had passed away and they had left the funeral service that day. And so of course they needed to extend that grace. But the other thing is you don't know what someone's carrying.

You don't know what they're going through in a particular moment. You don't know what's going on in their emotional makeup at the time. And so it was another good lesson for me. I did handle it well. I handled it right. I did pray for them. But at the same time, there was this tendency in me to go, what is wrong, like, judge that.

What is wrong with, how do you not, these children are going to grow up and be, you It wasn't any of that. Their grandmother had passed away and the parents were just giving them some grace. It wasn't the appropriate time to be disciplining your kids. And so you never know what someone's going through.

What a good story. Yeah. What a good story. And also, what a nice way to live. So for the people listening. Imagine if you're walking through life and instead of being pissed off at every person that does stupid stuff, you're saying, maybe you're having a hard day, I'm gonna send you some grace. Mm hmm.

Because people that do funky things are not in a good space. That's right. Yeah. [00:11:00] Usually they're operating out of some kind of pain. They're operating out of pain. Yeah. Yeah. They are. So a lot of people in your world come to you operating from pain. Mm hmm. They come to you. Same with you. Yes, yes. We share this, this mission we're on.

And when people come to you with all that pain in your audiences. You're such a Sherpa for hope and grace and motivation. Thank you. And I'm really excited to tell everyone that's your big fans out there that you are actually, you really are what you put out. Thank you. That's not for, not everybody in our field is I know.

And you truly are. Yeah. So are you. Thank you. I am, I am. I watch how you greet everybody when you came in here and the way you're so gracious with your kind words and spreading that. And what's funny is I'd walked in five minutes before you and Yeah. Did the same thing. The exact same thing. Yeah, exactly.

But I do watch those things. I watch how people talk to their Uber driver. Correct, correct. Or their server in a restaurant. Right. Or a flight attendant. Right. And you learn a lot about people in those moments. Yeah. I mean, , [00:12:00] well actually it's an interesting spiritual concept that we could dive into because Mm-Hmm.

This idea of separation, right? This idea that, that we're separate from someone because of our race or our gender or our religion or celebrity, non celebrity being here in Los Angeles. It's like a, it's a real town of who's who. And, When you actually give that over and you just see people as humans, that's when real connection can happen.

That's right.

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I dunno what's going on with me as I get older. I'm mushier or something and, uh, even this week there's something going on in one of my businesses and I'm just watching people be so cruel to one another. Mm-Hmm. and judgemental and harsh and aggressive. Two, like an aggression, and that's because of this false belief that somehow we're separate or we're competing for a scarce pile of something, right?

So one thing I always try to remind everybody is that the universe is expanding all the time and truth vibrates at the highest frequency, right? That's what vibrates at the highest frequency. So when you're not operating in truth and peace, you're operating in a much lower frequency than you're capable of.

And so then you begin to believe that things are scarce. But I actually don't think that. Like, I actually think there's plenty for every, like in our group, for example. One of the things I love about that group is, for the most part, as far as I can tell, people don't think because you wrote a great book, their book's not going to do well.

There's no comparing. Right? That there's a, there's an elevation that [00:17:00] takes place when people put great work into the world. And I think there's a lot of this being sown, you know, we both know this, no matter what your political beliefs are. I don't even know what mine are anymore half the time. But no matter what you believe, We're encouraged to be separate from one another, like you think this way, I think that way, therefore we're separate.

No, we're really one. Like in my own family, I have people that have totally different beliefs than I do about different things, but there's this understanding that it's my sister or that it's my niece. And so I try to always look at people like that. Like I get teased a lot because I call most people brother if they're a guy or sister and they're like, but it's, it's actually my belief system.

They are brothers and sisters. They're actually my brother. They're actually my sister. And it's actually reinforcing that and sowing that. Literally, that neurology into my body, you're my sister, you're my brother, right? So I think that notion that we're separate is the great ill that's plaguing our culture right now.

It's the great ill that's plagued the world forever. It's the only reason we have war. How do we fix it, do you think? We are, you and I are doing our work, our listeners here are doing the work. [00:18:00] Anyone that's listening to you or to me or to Anyone in this space, reading a personal growth book, doing some form of therapeutic work is actually the antidote to the war, to the collective trauma, to the global separation.

Because as one person wakes up to that lack of separateness, that interconnectedness, and they extend grace to the Uber driver or to the co worker. That grace starts to expand. You're right. You've, you gave such grace to this man today that you back ended his car and he did to me and he did to you. And then because he did to you, you were able to show up for the rest of your day, not feeling guilty, not feeling.

You're right. I'm not carrying it now. You're not carrying it. Yeah, I'm not carrying it. And had I not handled that the right way, I would have carried it because I'm the type of person, like most people are, that when there is a conflict or I've done something that's not consistent [00:19:00] with my values or whatever it might be, I carry it for a long time.

And so I've learned, like in my life, like to release it in the moment. I got to tell you, I think one of the things that frustrates me that you and I could I can contribute to fixing is, I think people look at like you and I, cause we have podcasts and they're like, well, yeah, they're qualified to heal people or help people, but I'm not qualified.

Like, what do I have? You know, average and ordinary, or I've had this divorce or this setback. And most people use in their life, unfortunately, they use the mistakes of their life as evidence For themselves that they can't make progress or help other people. And I had this huge breakthrough after I wrote my book, I wrote the Power of One More.

And my dad, as you know, was an alcoholic. Way after my dad, my dad had passed away, I'd already written the book. I wake up one night, so the book is at like eight months. I wake up one night and I'm emotional. I'm crying. And my wife's seen me that way a few times, but it's not something that I'm great at doing.

She's like, what is wrong with you? I said, babe, I said, someone helped daddy. And [00:20:00] imagine this, I'm 51 years old at the time and it just dawned on me, she goes, what did you say? I said, someone helped daddy. She goes, with what? I go, getting sober, 35 years ago, some precious human. By the way, I've talked to my dad about this before he passed away.

My dad was going to take his life. My mom was going to leave finally. My dad was either going to end his life or he's in a really bad space. I said, babe, I don't know if it's an alley somewhere or a bar or a meeting. I don't know where it happened, but some precious human whom I don't know saved my family and helped my dad.

That one person helped my father. I'm his son. I've reached millions of people. You don't know the ripple effect of healing and helping one person. You don't have any idea when you're doing it, what the ripple effect, the ramifications of that one encounter are. And that's the beautiful thing about our life.

We don't know. And I said, and that's not even the most amazing part of it. Here's what's more amazing. She's like, what? And it's like three o'clock in the morning. I go, what qualified this person to help my dad? Was it how perfect they were? That they were this [00:21:00] amazing superhuman with a perfect life and amazing intellect.

I said, no, what this person's qualifications were is at one time they were an alcoholic, they were a drunk. They were lying. They were living in the shadows. They were not being authentic. That's what qualified them to help my dad. So in life, you're most qualified to help the person you used to be. That's right.

The people you used to be. And that's why growth matters. Because when we grow, we've grown into a new version of ourselves. We can help all those people that we used to be. So if you used to be hurt and you're not quite as hurt, you can help. People in pain. If you used to be angry, you're not quite as angry.

You could help angry people. If you used to not know something about a particular topic, and now you do, you can help all those people who don't know. That's the beautiful part about life. And so that's why I say like, I know you and I are doing work, but I would. And I know your work is predicated on this too, but everybody can do this.

Yes. You're immensely qualified in your life to make a difference in life because you don't know the ripple effect of that one person. And [00:22:00] usually what's going to qualify you is some form of pain you've been through. Yeah. Some adversity, some sin, some mistakes, some divorce, some bankruptcy, some emotional baggage you're carrying.

That's actually the qualifications to help other people, not the thing that prevents you from doing it. Yes. Right. And so anyway, that's like, I would love people to understand that. That what qualifies you to be of service. Is the person you used to be? Yeah, that was gone through what you've gone through.

Yeah, like my, my, my, uh, in my case, like I think I really do help a lot of people who grew up with some sort of childhood trauma. You definitely do. Is it because I'm superhuman? Of course not. It's because I had childhood trauma and because you showed up for it, right? That's true because you showed up for it.

So those of us who have the privilege of having experiences that were adverse and then we have the privilege of finding the, finding a higher power, finding that. That human in a higher power, that meeting, that motivation, it's actually our responsibility to carry the message. I love that. Yeah. We have a [00:23:00] responsibility.

That's beautiful. Because that's exactly what you're saying. You know, for me, in October 2nd, 2005, it was my sobriety date, 18 years ago, and it was, you know. The young folks, last night I was hanging out with one of, I saw here in LA, a girlfriend who's got sober about a few months before me and we were just reminiscing on that time and it was the young folks in New York, we'd all been at the club together, we'd all been doing drugs in the bathroom, we'd all, and then we're like, Oh yo, you're here too?

And that whole thing is what made it work, that we were in it together, that we could recognize ourselves in each other, that somebody with six months more than me could give me that grace. I love that. And so you're exactly right. Then the people listening, that's their responsibility. You're listening, you're still halfway through this conversation between you and I, they're experiencing a message.

They're the Sherpa in their own life. Amen. I think some people wonder like, well, what do I have to offer? If you're wondering what you have to offer, maybe Evaluate pain you've been through, trauma you've been through, [00:24:00] evaluate mistakes you've made. Most of the work that I find myself doing is acknowledging mistakes I've made or things I've gone through.

And I think a lot of people think they got to look at their successes and their achievements that, well, I don't have a huge list of those things that most people will be impressed by. That's actually not the thing that qualifies you. What qualifies you is to meet people where they are. And I don't think it's your, how perfect you are.

I think it's your, Vulnerability and being willing to reveal your imperfections to people that connects you with them. Yeah, and actually that comes back to the separateness, right? It's like, you, a lot of people get stuck in this story. This is so cool for people to hear this right now. They get stuck in the story that I need to be seen in this way, or have to have this many people liking me on social media.

And that whole thing, Not only is making, creating more separation, more angst in your own life, but it's actually blocking you from your highest purpose, which is just to be an authentic expression of yourself. Because when, the reason that people listen to us is because we tell the f ing truth. That is it.

Right. Because we're not trying to be, A shiny object. We're trying to [00:25:00] show our humanity and tell a story. We're just rock and tours. We're telling stories. What do you think about people holding on? I'm curious about your opinion about that or what your work does on this. Like people are holding on to a story that they've had forever.

They replay over and over again. And that that being the thing that might be limiting them to is their version of the story. Do you, do you, you have opinions about that? Like I just wrote an entire book about that topic. It's called self help. This is your chance to change your life. It'll be out in December.

I just cued you right up there. And I even know you cued me right up, brother. And yeah, it's all about, and I, I studied internal family system therapy throughout COVID, very close friends with the founder, Dick Schwartz, who's like a mentored brother, true brother, really. And. My intention with this book is to just offer these huge messages in a way that people can apply in self help and it's all about Recognizing that the blocks that we have in our life what you just mentioned the stories that hold us back Are actually little children inside of us that have been [00:26:00] locked up.

They've been put under locking key They've been put into the closet the basement Don't ever come out. And what we've built up is a lot of reactions, a lot of protection mechanisms to fight against having to feel those feelings. And so the patterns that we're stuck in, in our life are reactive patterns that are there in place to protect us from feeling experiences from our childhood that were too impermissible to face at the time.

Bingo. Bingo. I just realized something about myself. I haven't, I think I said this one other time in public. But like what are the link, like I've done a lot of work, right? So what are the lingering effects still for me? Yeah. What are they? What are they? You know, and a couple of things, if I'm being honest, one, I love to love people.

I'm not great at letting people love me. Actually, let me amend that. Letting myself feel loved by people who love me. I have a lot of people, great people in my life that love me, but the actual like bliss of [00:27:00] someone loving me, I don't know that I'm great at allowing myself to experience that on the level that I give it to people, which sucks and it's something I'm really working on right now.

The other thing I've discovered about myself is I've built a little bit of a, like a disassociative habit to myself. So of all the work I undone for my childhood, I still don't. It's crazy to say this because we do this work, but I still don't allow myself to associate fully in moments sometimes to a feel something.

It's almost like I let myself feel some of it. Yep. Do you know what I mean? Like if it's a great party and I'll be with people, they're having a little bit greater time than me. They're present. It's not that I'm not having an okay time. I've gotten better at that, but like I don't fully embrace it. I disassociate a little bit from it.

And so I find that even with my friends, the last few years will go to a level. And then I don't go past that level. Super understandable though. Yeah. Right? So you're a child of an alcoholic parent. Mm hmm. Trauma with a big T. Yeah. So the parts of [00:28:00] you that are protectors, the dissociation is a protector.

Yeah. Protecting you from feeling the impermissible feeling of, I tried to love my primary caregiver and he didn't love me back at that time. Right. Yep. And he wasn't safe. He wasn't there. Mm hmm. And so that's an impermissible feeling. That's an exiled part of you. Mm hmm. And then this. Dissociative part is a protection mechanism.

It's a protector part of you. And so when there's opportunity to open your heart and trust and receive and be present with these humans who love you so deeply, there's still that protector that's like, no, no, don't go there because it's unsafe. So Gabor Mate has a beautiful quote. He says that, Oh no, this actually is Peter Levine said from somatic experiencing.

He said that trauma is the inability to be present. And so those of us who have experienced trauma. Do you truly struggle? And there's a, there is a point of coming out of this, I promise you, because I'm living it now. Yeah, me too. But, and you're in it. Yeah, you're getting closer and closer in it. And that [00:29:00] feeling of being like, I'm at the party, but I'm not fully at the party.

And I really, I mean, I can't tell you how many parties I've been at where I'm Wait, what happened that night? I was just sort of like out of my body. Me too. And that's a trauma response too, right? It's so interesting you say that because I have that same experience. I've been at World Series baseball games and I'm like, I'm not even here.

Yeah. Like, I'm like, I mean, a major moments in society and culture. I've been at an inauguration, you know, I'm like, but I am on the other side of it in the sense that one, I'm, I'm aware of it. That's right, baby. You know, the awareness level is, is massive. And then I think also I've been, Um, sticking my toe in it to the extent lately where I'm like, that was better than before.

And I give myself credit for the progress part of it too. Maybe it's not going to be immediately fixed, but there's a progress and I might even regress a little bit. But lately more and more and more just places I've been and things I've done, I'm like, wow, I kind of almost fully experienced that right there, which would be cool after 52 years on the planet.

It'd be nice to give myself that [00:30:00] gift. Yeah. And I think I am now a lot more, but still it's there. And I think that there's something really beautiful that you just said. So you're acknowledging it, you're witnessing it. And witness it without judgment, right? Because it's a part of you that's protected you forever.

Mm hmm. And so these parts of us that we hate the most, like these characteristics of, Oh, I dissociate, or I can't be present. And we want to judge these parts of us. Good point. Those are the parts of us that kept us f ing safe. You're right. Like my cocaine addict part that was on my knees, you know, on October 2nd, my nose bleeding, a hundred pounds, all of it.

Thank you to that part because it kept me safe from impermissible stuff I could not face at that time. And so you as a man of God and as a man of, of personal development, you're titrating in at the pace that you can into the presence of who you are here to be, or who you're here to, not here to be, because you're who you're here to be, but what you're experienced.


Yeah, no, I think you're totally right about it. And also it's, it's helped me too, in certain ways, like when I was an athlete performing, I could almost disassociate from the moment and be, [00:31:00] I could perform without anxiety or nerves or if I'm going to go give a big speech in front of 40, 000 people, it serves me sometimes.

But overall, the net net in my life is I want to be fully present because although I might have given that speech better than I gave it, I didn't get to enjoy it like I could have. And so everyone should do that. They should evaluate, like, what are these things about me? that serve me in some ways, but that don't serve me and others that I have to really acknowledge in order to have my, the best life I could have, the authentic life to bring the most joy to myself and other people.

What are the things that might even serve me on some level, like you've said, but that longterm are going to cost me more than they're going to protect me. So what you're saying is extraordinary. I will reflect back to you what we would say in IFS. So Dick Schwartz says there's no bad parts. So judgment of them, but there's no bad parts, right?

My cocaine addict part, your dad's alcoholism was protecting him from his own trauma. Now there's no bad parts. They're just parts that become extreme. And so our work isn't to shut that part down because my [00:32:00] cocaine addict part is a controlling part, right? That part. runs a business, that part runs a family, that part wrote 10 books in 13 years, that part's done a lot of good in the world.

Yeah. So we don't want to judge that part. My work is to help her be less extreme so that she can write the book with that same enthusiasm but not burn herself out. Yeah. And so your dissociative part is an excellent part, it has given you excellent guidance and support and freedom. And it's just about helping that young guy just, just be feel safer and safer and safer so he can do his work and his great work in a less extreme way.

Yeah. It's really well said. Yeah. Well, it's, I didn't say it. Dick Schwartz said it. I think, and I'm taking it from both of you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That might be on my podcast today. Yeah. Yeah. In about two hours.
Helping the early reader of the book. I'd love to. I really feel like it's right where you're at.

Obviously, you're coming on my show with it too, so. Oh, I know. It's the biggest blessing coming on your show. I would love that. But you're in it and you're even right there. Just when you said, I'm witnessing it and I see it, that's the whole [00:33:00] thing. I agree. Yeah. That's what I teach, so I better do it. In this authentic, vulnerable expression of yourself and you're on stage, I would argue that my guests, I watch you and I feel the spirit moving through you.

Thank you. I feel the channel. That's why millions and millions of people are listening and watching. My guests. Is that, that's when you're the most present? Thousand percent. Yeah. A lot of things happen when I speak. One, I'm the most present. Two, it's probably the biggest confirmation of my faith when it happens because there are literally times, and you've had this too, I know, and people have in other areas of their life, but there are just literally times where I'm like, whoa, that was not for me.

What did I just say? Wow. There's actually a video someone sent me one time of, it's a big arena that I'm speaking in. Yeah. I'd love to find it. It's a big arena. And under the microphones picking up as they're applauding. And I don't remember ever saying this, but I'm like, thank you, God. Thank you, God. I'm actually [00:34:00] repeatedly saying this on the stage.

I have no recollection of saying it. It was under my breath, but the mic was picking it up. So it's on the recording, but the audience couldn't hear it. And I'm like, wow. You know, so I am fully present. I mean, we talk a lot about energy and frequency, but Even when I pray sometimes, because the feeling is so good when I'm on stage, I'm vibrating at such the frequency I want, that sometimes even when I pray, I just pray for the feeling, not necessarily anything more than that.

I know how it feels in my body. I'm stronger, I'm a little hotter, I'm calm. There's something about it. You know what I mean? You're not thinking, you're just being. You're not thinking at all. You're just existing, exactly. And I'm like, that's when I feel it the most. So that's when you're in self, which is self with a capital S, and it's like you're adult resourced.

God self. Mm hmm. Are your dads here? Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Okay. A thousand percent. So I'm channeling it crazy these days. So it just comes through. A million percent. Yeah, yeah.

But even now, it's kind of gotten to the point where I'm just like unapologetic about it. I'm like, okay, the people are here.

Mm hmm. And I only let the good people in. They only come. But [00:35:00] he really is. Okay, here.

Would you like a message from him? Billion percent. So he's, he's, and this came in through when we first spoke, but he's so proud of you. Like it almost brings me to tears. Like the pride and he's saying there's no accident that he took one for the team.

He had to come in that way to help you be this way. He's showing me the story of Wayne Dyer, how Wayne Dyer's dad was like an alcoholic and very abusive, but it was like, he came, Wayne chose that life, chose that father so that he could learn forgiveness and self reliance. So he's showing me that this was a collaborative effort that your souls came together to come in this way and do this work. And that, that he was, he's part of it. He's like, you know, I'm, I'm part of this too. Right. And, but he's, he's saying, he's saying it's, it's, it's, this is your moment to soften. And he's showing me that, that dissociation that we were talking about and the desire to be in your presence is so close.

Like, it's like, it's like, I can taste it. Like it's right there. And, and he's helping you. He's helping to show you like every direction. You're just going to be like, holy, dad, thank you for that. But he's helping give you, uh, clear intuitive guidance on this. It [00:36:00] may be just like, oh, read this book, go to this therapist, whatever the outside God sources might be that enter into your life to give you the gift of that embodiment of that presence that's on the stage, but in your life, you're going to be, you are like very in like, what he's saying is.

He does it. He lives it. He is practicing what he preaches, and he, he said, it's time to rest. Oh, wow. Thank you for that. Thank you, dad, by the way. I prayed last night really hard that my dad, this is crazy, I'm going through a really hard time in one of my companies. I literally prayed loud to my dad last night.

Yeah. Literally last night. Well, here he is. Yeah. He's saying, let it go. You're going to make me cry. Don't make me cry. Listen, when you see like a, a burly man who's so strong cry, it's like the most beautiful thing you can see in the world. He's saying, oh, he's saying, he's telling me to tell you something.

So there was this experience that I had and I've actually shared it yesterday in my talk There was a friend of mine who's a yogi back in the day, I don't know if we're friends anymore, just a guy that I was friends with, he texted me and I was like, ah, my [00:37:00] business, you know, it's like, how are you doing with my business, this business, and he texted me back and he goes, it's not your business.

It's God's business. And you are the servant of something f king unstoppable.

Okay, so dad is telling you. Yeah, I gotta remember that. It's not your business. Just, just, just give it over. Just tell God to do with it what God will and you are the servant of something f king unstoppable. Thank you for that. Yeah, that was meant to be. Thank him. He's showing me the images. Oh, I thank my dad a lot.

But dad, I appreciate you coming here today. I love you. But he's also following you, like he's your bouncer, right? So he's like. Putting you in the right places and there's like a protection field around you and he's saying I'm protecting you in ways I couldn't in the human form. Oh Protecting you in ways I couldn't in the human form.

Wow.

Ah Yeah [00:38:00] I love your dad. He's like such a peaceful energy. I love my dad too. And he's so happy that he was able to show you that light in, in his human form and have that repair. I'm glad that he trusts you to talk to me. Oh yeah. Yeah. He's my brother. Like we, he's like, oh yeah, we're, you know, he's like, you're my, you're my sober sister.

Thank you for my sober sister. Thank you dad. Yeah. Thanks for showing up. Yeah. Right. He says, relax your shoulders, Ed, and rest your and just know. It's all happening. It's all being taken care of. It's great. It's all being taken care of. I love you. I love you, . Such a special conversation. I could sit with you every time and I just wanna go to LAN or here some spiritual center and just sit with you and meditate with you and channel your dad with you for decades.

I gotta tell you, I gotta, I'll tell you this last, then I'll share this with you and I actually have something to tell you offline that don't let me forget. Okay? Okay, cool. I was at a, I won't say who, but I was at a retreat. a meditation retreat with a, with a guru that many people would know. And it was a small group.

There's like 20, 25 of us. And I got to tell you, cause you and I had not met in [00:39:00] person. We would only, uh, met online that entire three days you were on my mind. I almost texted you. Like I could not get it off of my mind and I couldn't figure out why. Is that interesting? It wasn't that long ago. It was back in June of last year.

But you were on my mind the whole time. My, not really my mind. You're more like going on my heart, the whole time there. But you kept coming up and kept coming up. And I think part of it was what we did the last time that we talked, where you, you get some work with me. But just so you know, you, you're, you're, Even though we're not together a lot, you're with me a lot.

Yeah, right back at you. I actually know, psychically, what that was. I know there's a plan right here. Dad is totally involved in it. That's awesome. That's awesome. It's really special. I love it. Ed, I want to thank you for the commitment. To being the channel that you are in this lifetime. And I want to tell you psychically that it is going to get so good from here, bro.

It is because the heart expansion is right [00:40:00] there here. And then that you don't, you haven't even started. Thank you. Your guys are saying, you haven't even started fulfilling your mission. You've done a lot of good work, bro. You're firing me up. Look at my Yeah, no, it has not even. My hairless arms, I'm getting goosebumps.

It is coming, man. It is. I love that. That means truth. Because truth vibrates at the highest frequency. It really does. Let me say this to you. I love you and I want you closer to me. I want more time with you and I want to be around you. And every time we talk, I feel like a million bucks. Even today. Like, I felt when I met you.

Same here. By the way, for days after too, we talked about that. We're going to sound. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds funny. Look, we both had that same sense when we met, but then just today, like, by the way, God's timing is so perfect because I needed to see you today. Yep. No, I know. Today was the day. And that's amazing that just it landed on the perfect time and the perfect moment.

And the last thing I'll say is when you were with me, it was right before my book came out. It was Happy Days. It was my trauma book. It was really Great book. Thank you. Great book. And it was a scary time for me because I was revealing very vulnerable [00:41:00] truths. Yep. That conversation with you gave me Everything I needed because I felt seen.

You read every page of that book. You reflected it back to me and you reminded me that I wasn't alone in my trauma. And that, that catapulted me off in such a confident way to share that truth and it was all you, man. That's beautiful. Thank you for telling me that. We can go on for another hour telling each other how much we love each other.

Hopefully what we shared though has helped. I mean, that's what the work that we do. Separation, right? I think that's the message. A million percent. You are not different than anyone. Anyone else. And if you can get that people, then you have made a major impact on the world. Amen. Amen. Amen. We are complete.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you're truly committed to miracles. I'm really proud of you. If you want to get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode. Make sure to subscribe so you don't [00:42:00] miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience of this show means a lot to me, so I really want to welcome you to leave an honest review.

And you can follow me on social media at Gabby Bernstein. And if you want to get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby'd live at DearGabby. com. See you next week. Gabby. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Visit Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.