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choose happiness today

Today’s episode of Dear Gabby is … well … a little bit different.

In the studio with me is my producer, Joshua. He fielded some really meaningful and important questions from our listeners about happiness and how to face the turmoil we’re witnessing in the world today. We also riffed on a variety of topics that are profoundly deep and important. 

So, on the show today, we will be answering your questions and I’ll share some essential tools to help you build resilience and experience joy, no matter what’s going on around you. 

I’ll help you identify opportunities for growth, how to choose happiness, and welcome miracles.

So stick around until the end. It’s a powerful show today.

Oh, and check out this cute pic of me and Josh in the studio. Follow me on instagram to get in on the “Where’s Waldo” joke! 

choose happiness: 4 steps to overcome obstacles and find happiness

When everything’s working out for us, we ease into cruise-control mode. 

But the truth is that some of the hardest moments in our life are what guide us toward genuine happiness. 

these bottoming-out moments are also our potential breakthrough moments

In this episode of Dear Gabby, I want to help you choose happiness, even when it’s hard.

listen now

choose happiness through hardship

Difficult times are an opportunity to go deeper and a chance to strengthen our inner condition.

The more we show up for and strengthen our inner world and our inner resilience, the easier it is to survive and thrive in difficult times.

Often when we hit a rock bottom and we experience a cracking open, we can actually hear guidance or intuition much more loudly than when we’re in the busyness of our day-to-day life.

That’s often when people hear what they may call God.

When I got sober on October 2, 2005, the miracle moment was suspending my worldly perceptions and opening up through prayer to receive a spiritual direction.

I released the outside desire to just fix something, and I surrendered my desire to the care of my inner guidance system. 

in this episode, you’ll learn how to: 
  • Choose happiness in moments of fear, turmoil and discomfort
  • Identify opportunities to grow and build resilience
  • See obstacles as the Universe offering direction and helping you make a detour in the right direction
  • Reframe success and turn fear into fun
  • Reconnect with your inner guidance system and open yourself up to receive miracles
listen now
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free manifesting meditation to attract your desires

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disclaimer

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

dear gabby #137 May 15, 2023 manifesting 47 min

4 steps to overcome obstacles and find happiness

Listen on:

The following podcast is a Dear Media Production.

Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I'm not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

Alright, my friends, here's the deal. If you've listened to this show or have seen me speak live, then you've heard me say that the universe always delivers—always, period. The universe is always responding to your thoughts, to your energy, to your emotions. So it's pretty straightforward what you put out to the universe, you will receive back from the universe.

And that's whether you want it or not. And that's why it's really important to pay close attention to the energy you're putting out and learn how to raise your vibration when it's not in a good frequency. So Gabby, you ask, how do I raise my vibration? Well, you meditate, plain and simple.

When you meditate, you can align your energy with the universe and effortlessly attract your desires. You can do less and attract more because your vibes speak louder than your words. So the work here is to relax your energy, calm your nervous system, get back into alignment with the energy of the universe.

That's how you become a super attractor. So today, my friend, I'm hooking you up with my two most requested manifesting meditations for free. So head over to deargabby.com/freemeditations to get access now. Again, that's deargabby.com/freemeditations. I'll also throw this in the show notes if you wanna find the link later.

Do not miss this. Grab your free meditations. Let me help you tap into your greatest resource, which is the super attractor power within you. Enjoy the meditations, deargabby.com/freemeditations.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I'm your host Gabby Bernstein, and if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you're ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let's get started.

Welcome back, my friends. Welcome back to Dear Gabby. Today's episode is, well, a little bit different. In the studio with me is my producer Joshua, and he fielded some really meaningful and important questions from our listeners about happiness and overall wellbeing and how to face turmoil when we're witnessing all that's happening in the world today, and a variety of topics that are also really deep and profound that started to come through in some of the questions.

And really important topics that we needed to discuss. So on the show today, we'll be answering your questions and I'll share some essential tools to help you build resilience and experience joy, no matter what's going on around you. I'll help you identify opportunities for growth and how to choose happiness and welcome a miracle mindset into your life so that you can choose to see the world through the lens of love again.

No matter what's going on around you, so stick around till the end because this is a very powerful episode. I'm answering your questions. Do not miss this. Enjoy the show.

GABBY: Hi, Josh.

JOSH: Hey Gabby.

GABBY: We're in the studio. Joshua, JD, a k a, where's Waldo is in the studio with me and he’s gonna ask me some questions. Let's see what comes up. We're gonna riff.

JOSH: Yeah, absolutely. Some of these, uh, may not seem so new to you, but they're definitely ones that come up often, so we'll just dive in.

My first real question for you is based on my own need to look at the world, and I see so much turmoil happening around the world today. Do you think that impedes our ability for happiness and makes happiness harder to find and why?

GABBY: I think with the turmoil that's happening in the world, we actually have a better-directed opportunity to experience happiness, genuine happiness. Because when everything's working out for us and things are going well, and we're just in that cruise control, it often is this false pretense that the happiness that we want is something that we're gonna look for outside of ourselves.

I just wanna get more of that, or I want that career to make me happy or that relationship to make me happy. But when we experience collective trauma like we did through Covid, or we experience just such extreme turmoil in the world, we actually often push to a point of potential bottoming out, potential breakthrough.

And often those moments of breakthrough, while they're extremely uncomfortable at times, are the greatest catalysts for our change, our growth, and our presence. And so I wanna offer up that shift, the shift that we can look at the difficult times that we're living in as a chance to go deeper, as a chance to strengthen our inner condition.

And the more that we show up for and strengthen our inner world and our inner resilience, the easier it is to survive and thrive in difficult times.

JOSH: Is there something tangible that you can say, hey, to set me on this path, I could do this.

GABBY: Hmm mm-hmm. So, to set yourself on the path for making that difficult moment a great catalyst rather than something that's gonna hold you back, my suggestion is just to choose that.

To choose that this totally funky, uncomfortable time or whatever it is that's personally happening for you actually is an opportunity for growth. Something happened recently in our business that was a big, fat, expensive wake-up call. It was just frustrating. It was not only frustrating, but it's an expensive mistake.

And my immediate reaction, immediate reaction was, oh, while this is uncomfortable, while this is expensive, this is the universe putting an obstacle in our way so that we can make the detour in the right direction. And that choice, rather than just being totally pissed off about the extreme expense and just being totally pissed off about how this all went wrong and whatever happened, happened.

I said, oh, no, no. The things that we're doing are getting bigger. There's more exposure. We need to get more buttoned up. Why not see this as a chance? Get a little bit more clear about what's under the hood, and that shift gave me not only the grace to move through this and not having sleepless nights and just to show up for it without catastrophizing, but it also, I believe, is going to greatly impact the results of what happens here.

Because if I'm catastrophizing, I’m going to get in the way. Whereas if I'm in that space of, okay, universe, this sucks, but show me what to do, then I can really allow the natural order to take over and I can energetically stay out of the way and witness the opportunity in front of me.

Yeah, it sucks when things are difficult, but ask always, what is being revealed to me? What is this opportunity? Instead of seeing it as an obstacle.

JOSH: Along the same line of asking and seeing the opportunity, one of the things I love most that you say, and I'm paraphrasing, is that if you're having fun, you cannot fail. And I believe that's so true.

GABBY: Mm-hmm.

JOSH: A: again, how do we redirect ourselves to accept that idea of just the fun and the joy in something? And can you give an example of when that's been true for you?

GABBY: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So, I often get a lot of guests on the show that'll have fear of failure, and my suggestion to them is always, well, instead of focusing on an outcome, make your priority to have more fun because if the only goal is to have fun, how can you fail?

And so, when we put our attention and our emphasis on the desire to have more fun, the desire to bring more joy into the situations that we're in, to give ourselves these laughable moments, then we actually create an energy that's not resistant to more.

That energy is expansive. That energy is joyful. That energy is abundant. It's receptive, it's high vibration. And in that space of leaning into what is joyful, what is possible, what is creative, we actually open invisible doors. More is revealed. An attracting power within us is activated, and it's not a fake fun. It's not like, oh, I'm gonna go out and just kinda like bullshit my way through this.

It's about genuinely getting into that childlike state, genuinely giving yourself the opportunity to experience more joy in your life, and whatever that task or that thing that you may be doing is happening in your life in that moment, the more presence and joy you can bring into that present moment, the easier it is to expand that joy and expand that joy and build upon it—all throughout your life, in every corner of your life.

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[END AD BREAK]

JOSH: Can you define what spirituality means to you?

GABBY: Okay. What spirituality means to me is the commitment to opening up your conscious awareness to an energy of love that is within you and around you, that is supporting you and guiding you.

That energy can be defined however you choose to define it, but when you open up your awareness to that presence and you start to settle more into your moments of stillness, your groundedness, your feeling of connection or inspiration or even feelings of joy, you start to build upon a faith of your own understanding.

And in the presence of that faith, you start to define for yourself what that energetic presence means to you, what that spiritual connection means to you. I can know for myself that that spiritual connection is an energy of joy. It's an energy of love. It's an ever-present grounded force that is within me, but it's also around me.

And it's something that is me that I have access to and that I can use in this human form and that I can tap into. But it's also something that I have to lean into proactively. And being in that proactive experience of leaning in, tuning in, opening up, connecting more—all of the worldly obstacles start to feel further and further away. And I don't feel as overwhelmed or taken down.

Because I know that there's a presence within me and around me that is there to support me. And that connection can come through as an intuition. That connection can come through as a feeling.

That connection can come through as a overwhelming presence of love, like a blanket of love that can pass over you. It can come as a intuitive idea to do something different. It can come as almost a feeling or a sense of being pushed in a direction that you have to take, even though it doesn't make any sense. But it logically may not make sense, but intuitively and physically and spiritually, it feels like it is the only choice.

As we start to attune to and listen to that presence within ourselves and that presence of love and resource, and compassion, and commitment and courage, then we start to feel more led by that voice and that presence than led by all of the fears that we've built up against it.

JOSH: You talk very openly about your addiction. When you were at that low point, and you talk a lot about this in Happy Days, what was the catalyst that literally the switch that flipped for you that said, no more, today's the day I'm gonna change my life.

GABBY: When I got sober on October 2nd, 2005, the miracle moment was suspending my worldly perceptions and opening up through prayer to receive spiritual direction.

Often when we hit a bottom of some kind, when we have a cracking open, we can actually hear spirit. We can actually hear guidance or intuition much more loudly than when we're in our busyness of our day-to-day life. And so that cracking open, that bottoming out. That's often when people really hear what they may call God.

And so, on the floor of my studio apartment, I really said a prayer. I said, I need a miracle. And in that moment, in that presence of that miracle, I received that inner guidance. Get clean and you'll live a life beyond your wildest dreams.

And so, for a temporary moment, I released the outside fix, the outside desire to just fix something. And I surrendered my desire to get help to the care of my inner guidance system, to spiritual connection without even realizing it. And that inner guidance was what changed my life.

JOSH: I've got a couple questions from some of our listeners. The first one is from Kristen. She wants to know how you differentiate if you are picking up on other's anxiety as opposed to your own.

GABBY: Okay. Well, if you're feeling anxious, it's your anxiety in that moment, but you may have picked it up from somebody else. And so we're all energy. And as we start to mingle with the energy of others and co-create in the world with the energy of others, we have to have a level of awareness of recognizing that other people's energy does affect us.

That when we walk around the world, unconsciously, not aware of this open vortex that we have at all times to just pick up what other people are putting out. And if we don't create a boundary, a conscious boundary, we could be walking into rooms and picking up negative energy. We could be walking into rooms and picking up anxiety.

We could be really responsive to people's big facial expressions, energetic shifts, tones of voice. And so, the way to really adjust that and start to protect your energy and start to protect your container more is by building up an inner boundary, ua desire inside that says, when I walk out the door today, I am making the commitment to just be open and loving, but not pick up everything that everyone is putting out.

And in those moments when you maybe have felt like some kind of attachment to somebody else's energy and you didn't have that boundary up, you wanna be really conscious and make a commitment to clear that energy. And so, that can come again with an inner directive.

I demand that any negative energy that I may have picked up be removed from me now. And I ask that any positive energy that I may have lost be retrieved now.

And that dialogue is a boundary. And the more we set those energetic boundaries internally, they start to be reflected in our external experience.

So when I walk around the streets of New York City, I've got an inner boundary that says, nobody's energy can come latch onto me. I'm not picking up what you're putting out. And I can smile at people. I can be loving and kind, but I'm not gonna walk around picking up everything that's around me.

And so making that inner decision, I'm creating a boundary now. Maybe you visualize it. Maybe you see like a shield of light or a shield of golden light or even a shield of plexiglass. Whatever feels like a good visual for you. And wrap that around yourself as you enter into situations that may cause triggers and may offer up energy that's not your own, that you don't wanna take on, and really claiming that you have the power within you to create boundaries with the energy of others.

And also be conscious of the fact that your energy can be placed upon other people too. That's not comfortable. That's not cool. So just be aware, starting to open up your awareness now that you're not just what you say and what you think. Your energy speaks louder than your words.

[AD BREAK]

So I just got back from Australia and Bali and had this three week trip, which was amazing. And what also came up for me was that I really needed to stay very, very, very proactive about my overall wellbeing and my immune system because I gave back-to-back talks. I was on lots of different planes. I was around a lot of people. I was across the world with jet lag, and so I really needed to keep my immune system pumping.

And so, I relied heavily on Cymbiotika. And Cymbiotika supplements are the real deal, my friends. That's why I have been traveling around the world with it these days.

So I've got my liposomal vitamin C, which is absolutely amazing for my immune system, my D3K2 Co-Q10, getting me that whole synergistic formula that plays a really key role in the immune function, collagen production, healthy aging, you name it. But also that magnesium L-threonate, just to help me fall asleep at night.

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Bath time is me time, and I have a little ritual that I do every time I get in the bath and it's Tree Hut. Tree Hut, the creators of America's number one body scrub has just released an amazing new line of hydrating gel washes. The only way I can describe them is skin-quenching—literally. I started using the Tree Hut hydrating gel washes, and it literally changed how I bathed.

I look forward to getting into the bath. I've got all my products lined up and these gel washes are infused with fruit oil complex that delivers a heavy dose of hydration, leaving my skin feeling really incredibly smooth and soft, and they have this long-lasting scent that's just delicious.

And I've literally been telling all of my friends that they have to use this, and they all love it. All of the Tree Hut washes are formulated with their hydrating oil complex that plums my skin with renewing antioxidants, brightening vitamin C and nourishing rich fatty acids. It is also great for getting my skin really, really clean and this is great whether I am in the city or in the country.

These gel washes literally wash away dirt and oil and grime, and I can't imagine showering without them. And trust me, you will thank me for this. So my friends complete your shower and bath routine with Tree Hut hydrating gel wash, and now in most of the world, it's summertime. We're gonna be in the sun. We're gonna have a lot of dry skin.

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[END AD BREAK]

JOSH: This is a big one from Anita. How do we know we are navigating on the right path? I'm just so confused as to what I really should be doing with my life.

GABBY: If you're confused about what you should be doing with your life, which I think a lot of people can raise their hand and say, yeah, I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing here.

Whether that's personal or professional, or just from an inner place, that's an opportunity. That's a chance to start to open up to other possibilities and other ways of living. It's when we're so stuck in that lane that we actually limit the possibilities. So right now, rather than saying, oh, I don't know what to do with my life, I don't know where I'm going.

See it as an opening, seeing it as an opportunity to just open up your awareness to what's possible. I would say start doing things that bring you joy. Step into the art class that you never took before, or go hang out with those friends that really elevate you, because in the presence of that joy, we start to activate our intuition.

And in that intuitive state, we are directed, we are guided, and we're given and revealed what's the next right action. My whole career was born out of an experience of just doing something that was joyful, doing it for free, I loved speaking.

I would get on stages at universities. I would talk to people at college campuses, and I just kept showing up and showing up for free. And in the joy and the experience of that, my intuition just expanded and my gift began to be birthed, and I was able to show up for my highest and best purpose from a professional perspective.

And I've seen that happen in my personal life in many ways as well. So I would say really, see this is an opportunity to start to just do more of what you love and see what is revealed.

JOSH: Alexandro says, how do I overcome the deep feeling of unworthiness, for example, to feel worthy of having a happy, loving relationship?

GABBY: We probably need to do an entire episode on feeling worthy, but the feeling of unworthiness is a deep core wound. And it's a belief that we built up at a very young age, and it has just been magnetized and reinforced again and again, and again and again. And so, first just notice it and be the witness of the fact that there's this story I've been telling.

There's a belief about myself I've been believing there's a part of me that has lived without a sense of worthiness. And just be the witness of it. Just notice where it comes up in your life. Notice it with love and compassion.

And the first step to anything is having this conscious awareness of it. So be proud of yourself for having the willingness and the bravery to look at it, to notice it, to see it.

Undoing the feelings of unworthiness are often a deep dive. It's like a free fall into a support system, whether it be therapy, whether it be a recovery group, whether it be following lessons in a book like Happy Days or any other spiritual or therapeutic self-help book. But opening up your awareness to the beliefs that started this inner dialogue and the storylines and the parts of you that have showed up and been established to protect you from ever feeling that unworthiness.

So that you can actually get closer to that true feeling and let it be revealed to you. What we may run from most is those deep core wounds of unworthiness, those feelings of unworthiness. So I just wanna acknowledge this person for the bravery to even speak for it. It's a huge first step.

JOSH: One more question. This is from Liza. I was laid off for my job earlier this year, and I've been really committed to manifesting a dream job for myself. Long story short, I accepted an offer for something that is not my dream job. How can I see it through the lens of opportunity versus something to feel disappointed about?

GABBY: Okay, when people get fired or they don't get the job they wanted, or the boyfriend doesn't work out, or they get divorced or whatever, I always say congratulations. And it's not to be rude or dismissive, it's just to say if it didn't work out, one that means there's something better. And if it didn't work out, really owning that rejection is protection.

That what does not happen in our life is actually the chance to go in a different direction or be protected from something that may not have been really good for us, or potentially learn something about ourselves that we otherwise may not have been uncomfortable enough to face unless we had that disappointment.

Listen, we don't wanna avoid disappointment in life. It's just like with children. You don't wanna protect your child from any kind of disappointment because how will they ever learn resilience? Snd how will they ever learn to show up?

And so for your own experience of disappointment, instead of letting it take you down, let it move you through. Let it give you energy and momentum and direction to open up to new possibilities, to open up to personal growth and development that might be possible, and to open up to the awareness of this possible experience of protection. Maybe it wasn't meant to be.

JOSH: That's all we have time for today.

GABBY: I love it. Thank you guys. Bye bye.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you're truly committed to miracles. I'm really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode.

Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me, so I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media at @GabbyBernstein.

And if you wanna get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby’d live deargabby.com. See you next week.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.