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how your spiritual surrender can lift others

My favorite Joan of Arc quote is, “I’m not afraid. I was born to do this.”

It’s a mantra for me, because my work is fueled by passion, joy and an unwavering enthusiasm for the well-being of humanity. I pursue that through my books, gabby coaching membership, talks, podcast and social feeds. I made it my career—literally!

Even if that description isn’t in your LinkedIn profile, you play a pivotal role in the well-being of humanity, too. It stems from your own personal and spiritual development. 

I explain some of the fundamental spiritual principles I live by—such as surrender, alignment and flow—in this new episode of Dear Gabby.

in this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How your healing heals the world
  • The actions I took to receive success 
  • How being in flow makes everything easier
  • How I let Spirit take the wheel 
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disclaimer

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

dear gabby #171 Oct 23, 2023 purpose

emotional resilience, spiritual connection and surrender 

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The following podcast is a dear media production.

GABBY: Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

Before we even dive into today's episode, and it's a big episode today, I want to give you a little inside tip that will come in handy, especially after you listen to today's show. You've heard me say over and over and over again, this is my mantra, the path to inner peace is through meditation, period.

Period. End of story.

I literally do not go a day without meditating. I've been on this journey for 17 and a half years. Frankly, I've been meditating pretty much most of my life as a child and have had a daily devotional practice for 17 and a half years. And when it comes to manifesting, well, there's simply no greater tool to support you on that journey.

That's why I'm going to give you my most powerful guided Manifesting Meditation for free, totally for free. You can use this alongside all the other tools and techniques that I talk about on this show and particularly in this episode.

So all you have to do is go to deargabby.com/manifest and download this truly transformational meditation to help yourself begin to manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams.

This meditation will greatly complement today's episode, so I highly recommend that after listening to this episode, you go to deargabby.com/manifest and download that meditation, practice it, maybe even practice it for the next 30 days. See what transpires. Leave me a review and tell me about the miracles.

You will thank me later.

Hey there, welcome to Dear Gabby. I'm your host, Gabby Bernstein, and if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you're ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let's get started.

GABBY: Welcome back, my friends. Welcome back to the show. I have such a fun episode for you guys today. This is so great. You know, I love to go a little bit rogue and do Gabby freestyling kind of thing, and I love it. And I was in the studio and I was talking to Josh, my producer. We were just talking about all sorts of things as we were wrapping up.

And I said, stop, wait. What we're talking about right now, we have to record. This is so good. We need to share it. It was just like a little random conversation. I was like, stop, we need to record it. So we did. What I love about these like improv moments is that we're just letting whatever needs to come through, come through.

We can be vulnerable. We are able to share whatever it is that's up for me in that moment. And it's just real time, real talk. This conversation with JD, AKA Josh, AKA Where's Waldo? He's like Waldo. He shows up everywhere. Josh and I, here we are, we're having this beautiful, fundamental conversation about spiritual principles. And we're talking about surrender, alignment, flow. It's like a super heady, spiritual conversation that you would 100 percent want to be listening in on if you were just like at a coffee shop, just listening in to me and Josh chatting about it. I love this. I love this. I love this.

And the fact that I can share this with you is really meaningful to me because this work is what I'm so passionate about. I love the real talk. I love the big talk. I want to go right in with. the beautiful practices. And I also want to share with you that these practices are not just here on this podcast, but they're really bigger in my world. And a lot of the methods that I open up to with Josh today are deep methods that I go much further into inside my Gabby coaching membership.

And The Gabby Coaching Membership is like having me as your coach all year long. It is the most epic thing ever. For what would be the cost of two hours of coaching. You get me as your coach all year. And right now, as we start to prepare for the new year and really leaning into manifesting. This is the absolute best time to test out this app because you can get seven days free of manifesting methods.

And I give you almost like a mini challenge, seven-day free challenge. You can try it out. And then January 1st begins the manifesting challenge. And if you're in the Gabby coaching membership, you get the challenge for free. So head over to deargabby.com/app to try seven days free. And now listen to this lovely, spiritual, super awesome conversation with Josh.

We get really, really into it. I hope you enjoy this episode.

GABBY: Hi, Josh.

JOSH: Hi, Gabby.

GABBY: We're in the studio. We dragged Where's Waldo, aka Josh, into the studio seat. He kind of shows up everywhere and we're going to do a AMA. You've pulled some questions from our listeners.

JOSH: I have. And I have to say, this is the moment I've been waiting for. I've been waiting to sit down with you and ask you, so we'll just dive in, right?

GABBY: We're going to dive right in. But before we dive in…

JOSH: Yes.

GABBY: What are you excited about right now in your life?

JOSH: I'm excited about actually several things. One is really getting myself completely aligned in my sort of mental, emotional, and physical state.

And I'm taking real action in each one of those areas. And earlier we talked to someone about proteins and amino acids and it was very inspiring. So getting back into shape.

Doing the work on myself and really taking your sort of lead, honestly, Gabby, which is, I remember you said something about like, what do you want in life? And your response was a life of ease.

GABBY: Yeah. Yeah. You can take that. You can share it with me.

JOSH: So I'm, I'm going to borrow that. Yeah.

GABBY: Take it, baby. You got it.

JOSH: So that's what I'm excited about. What about you?

GABBY: A lot of the same things. I almost want to echo what you said. You know, really just getting my 44 year old, almost 44, I'm 43 still in this moment, my 43 year old mind and body into the best shape ever.

Yeah. And spirit. It's the best shape ever.

JOSH: Exciting.

GABBY: It is. Feels really good.

JOSH: Yeah, it feels really, really good. Yeah. So actually on that note, like, let's go all the way back with the Gabby Bernstein story. So take me back to where it all began and what the pivotal moments were in your spiritual journey.

GABBY: Mm mm-hmm. Well, many people, if they've read my books, may be aware that I was brought up very spiritual. My mom brought me to the ashrams. I was. give it a name from the guru. I was taught to meditate at 10 years old and used it because I had anxiety at the time. So I really used it. Then when I went to college, I just turned my back on all of that.

And I kind of just was looking for a way to numb out some of my big emotions. I started drinking more. After college, I started a PR firm. It represented nightclubs and that led to a very dark cocaine addiction, which I've shared about openly for 18 years. I'm actually here now celebrating 18 years when this is out.

So that's exciting.

JOSH: Mazel tov.

GABBY: Yes. Thank you. And the commitment that I made to myself is the commitment that I made to my readers and listeners. And it continues to be. My business and the work that I do has been built out of passion, joy, and enthusiasm for humankind, for the well being of humankind. And I'm super committed.

The early days, you know, I can take you down memory lane, you know, it's like in this little studio apartment, had lots of women coming in and out of the apartment, learning from me doing channeling, like literally be like 50 women a night, like circulating and out of my apartment. And then I started my talks across the street from my apartment.

Very convenient at the Gay, Lesbian, Transgender Center on 13th Street in the West Village.

JOSH: That's amazing to me.

GABBY: And I went into the space the other day just to go check it out. I'll put it all a little reel together for everybody listening. They can go watch it. And then I started doing workshops at the yoga studio on my block and I only went to the grocery store because it was the health food store on my block.

It's almost like God was like, this is where you need to live for the next five or six years just to do your work. And I remember writing, Add More ~ing to Your Life and I was in my kitchen, my kitchen. Which is rare that you can have a kitchen in this. It was like a studio with a kitchen, right? And I tucked this desk behind, like right behind the refrigerator.

And that's where I wrote my first book. I'm looking out the window with my refrigerator behind me, like a surfboard up on the sky. I bought a surfboard with the intention to surf and I never surf. So I just used it as a decoration in my apartment. And it was up there. Literally, like, hanging above my desk, kind of scary.

Eventually, I think I sold that surfboard, but it was just fun. It was such a beautiful way to begin, because it was for me first, and that's allowed me to carry that commitment to myself first, so I can live to tell others how they can recover, how they can heal, how they can find that grace and peace within.

So that's a little backstory.

JOSH: That's amazing. And you know, one of the things that I think for me, and it's no secret that I'm one of your biggest fans.

GABBY: You guys, he's literally my biggest fan. Whenever I complete something, he's just like, I don't even know what to say. My whole body is just taking over. I literally love having you there when I finish something.

It's so, it's so affirming.

JOSH: Thank you. I look at you in so many different ways and have such great respect for you. Obviously, the spiritual journey that you shared a little bit just now, but also as an entrepreneur, like how your mind went from, I'm going to write, I'm going to do these things, I'm going to go to the center and how that grew from that.

Writing behind your refrigerator to like having this app that's now like out in the world available to people literally around the world, your voice is available around the world.

GABBY: Yeah, it's actually so cool that you said that because I started off with 50 people rolling in and out of the studio apartment.

And now I've got an app where I can coach anyone anywhere in the world. The Gabby coaching membership. I haven't actually taken that in, Josh. Like I have this strange thing where sometimes I don't take in the magnitude of the moment. And right here I'm going to take it in. Just launched Gabby coaching app. Now I can coach anyone anywhere, anytime.

How freaking cool is that?

JOSH: It's truly monumental. Like I said, you see people trying to do this constantly.

GABBY: Well, I like the entrepreneurial question because I think that some of it is innate in your personality and what you are born into. And then of course it's, nature versus nurture, you know, sometimes we pick up what we see.

And so, my mom was, again, a meditator, but she also was like a serial entrepreneur and she loved to really hustle and she liked the hustle. She still does. My mom's like 75. She doesn't need to work and she's freaking selling houses all over the Rhineback area and she's like on her Instagram and her social media and like making jewelry or starting a CBD line or whatever the f she's doing at any moment.

Yes, I can do anything. I got from my grandmother down to my mother down to me. My grandmother was out selling pots and pans. I get to people's houses and she was just committed to having her own money, having her own career. My mom, the same thing. And so I know that that experience of seeing and being brought up with the endless possibilities and the yes, like, F it, let's go mentality that my mom instilled in me is one of the key reasons why I've been able to fearlessly do what I do.

In addition, I believe that I came here in this body in this lifetime to do this. I have a quote that's one of my favorite quotes and it's Joan of Arc, “I'm not afraid. I was born to do this.” And I really see that as my mantra. This is just what I'm here to do. And I continue every day saying, God, how would you use me?

And with that, I've been one day at a time just saying, f**k it, let's go. F**k it, let's go.

JOSH: Well, the question that I always come back to is, why? Why do you care so deeply? Like, what is, what is driving you to care so deeply?

GABBY: Oh, no one's ever asked me that. I've got full body chills, Josh. One, I understand suffering.

I understand trauma. I understand addiction. I understand depression and anxiety. I understand suicidal ideation. I understand it. So as I, so when I said, I think God brought me into this life in this life, I think that God was like, let's throw her in, let's give her a lot of this stuff early on. So she has to kick it up and kick it out and grow into who she is today.

And so, while I'm now 18 years sober and I can look back and I'm in a really healthy place in my life, I have so much compassion for that 25 year old girl who was just strung out on cocaine and couldn't get it together And I know that every human is in that way in their own way—may not be in extreme addiction but it could be addiction to thoughts or worry. I understand suffering. Now, meanwhile, I have been able to suffer with a lot of privilege, right?

I've been able to suffer with therapists and I've been able to suffer as a white woman in America. I've been able to suffer with, you know, unlimited resources and connections and famous healers on speed dial, right? So I don't want to undervalue. Like when I say I understand suffering, there might be people out there being like, f**k you. Like I literally am on the street.

Now, while I have not known that kind of suffering, I know what suffering in my world feels like. And I want to eradicate that suffering. I want to be the antidote to that suffering. Not me, but the messages that are coming through me, whether it be in the app or in my books.

I allow what is meant to come through me to heal me first. And then to also be a guide for the reader to start to create those changes in their life. And most importantly, for them to know that they are not alone, know that they are not alone. And by telling my truth, it helps the reader resonate with me. They don't just see me as some blonde New York girl, like telling you how to be happy.

It's like, no, I've been to hell and back. And I'm gonna tell you how to get back.

[AD BREAK]

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This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

For me, there is nothing worse than getting into bed and suddenly my mind is racing. I have a million things I have to think about and do and I'm freaking out. And our brains are super powerful and sometimes it can be really, really difficult with all those racing thoughts to actually relax. But that's where therapy can really support you.

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[END AD BREAK]

JOSH: We do joke about me being your fan and full disclosure, we met just under a year ago.

GABBY: Yeah.

JOSH: We had never met before.

And then I came to work with you and I think what stood out the most when we first started working together was just that you're speaking from a place of authenticity. My question is really like, do you see that in yourself?

You were talking about like having to take the moment. Do you see that in yourself? Like just how authentic your message really is.

GABBY: That is what I see most because I've gotten so in tune with what my authentic alignment feels like that when I'm even slightly taken away from it. It's like, ring, ring, ring, ring, and I bring myself back.

I think like, you know, some people develop their fitness or they develop their sport year over year, their singing or whatever their art may be. The longer you do it, the more you know what flow feels like. And so that flow is effortless today. It wasn't always, but it's effortless today.

And I can be in any situation, whether it be like in a recovery meeting with people who have nothing like me.

Or in a situation where there's a celebrity and like, normally Old Gabby would want to be like, kissing their ass. And I'm just like, what the f**k is up? How are you? Because that's where I'm at in my own flow. So I'm not making anyone special, I'm not making anyone separate. I am seeing humankind. I mean that.

And I know you know that I mean that. And I know, actually, what I mean in question, I know my listeners know that that's why they listen. That's why they listen.

JOSH: I mean, we've been together on this, you know, walking down the street and people will come up to you and be like, Gabby, you changed your life. In fact, we, not too long ago, we were walking down Washington street and these girls were open the window and we were just like, you changed my life.

But you always have the same message when people come up to you.

GABBY: Yeah. When I get a lot of Gabby, you changed my life. And I have the one message that I get back and I say, I did not change your life. You changed your life. You picked up the book. You did the workshop. You listened to the podcast. You did the work to get your life to change.

I just told you a story. I just gave you some guidance.

JOSH: Well, you do sometimes refer to yourself as a raconteur, which is a storyteller.

GABBY: Yeah, I am a storyteller. And I also believe that I am a translator for really heady spiritual principles. And even in this case now with my newest book, Self Help, that's coming out January 2025, it's being my own guinea pig, right?

So really learning it and grounding in it and then demystifying it. So whether it was spiritual practices and now in the case of a very profound therapy that healed my life and I'm making it self help, that's my job. My job is to translate and interpret these big ideas in a lexicon that the masses can understand.

JOSH: Well, IFS in particular, which we've talked a lot about, you talk about it on the show often, and your goal is to democratize it.

And I have to say, I haven't read the book yet, but I can only imagine what you're going to share in the book because so far, like even the smallest bits I've applied to my own personal life have been monumental.

GABBY: Yeah. Yeah. I have a really close friend who is a friend of a year and a half, maybe two years now, two years now, who I adore as a friend and a mentor and his name is Dick Schwartz, Dr. Richard Schwartz.

And he founded Internal Family Systems Therapy, which I've been doing it for a decade, but it clicked in the last two years. I went and got my training, level one, level two training.

You can use it in these settings. I'm not a therapist, but I can use it in these sort of moments of support for my friends, my family, myself. And so with Dick's blessing, I've decided to take that really big body of work that is mainly primarily done in a therapy setting.

And truthfully, like the big deep dive into it should be done in a therapeutic setting, but to open up our minds to that possibility and retrain the way we perceive ourselves. It's kind of the intention. It is the intention for this book. To get a different connection to our inner being.

JOSH: Well, you are right on timing wise. I was recently in two different dinner parties and IFS came up, not for me. So and I was just like, wow, I can chime into this. I know what they're talking about.

GABBY: Yeah. And I mean, it's not just my book, it's Dick's work and his body of work and it's just getting out into the world in such a gorgeous way. If you want to listen to some IFS content, we have episodes, you can just type in Gabby Bernstein, Richard Schwartz. Or Dick Schwartz or Gabby Bernstein, IFS. And those are in the pod. They're out there in the library.

JOSH: One of your mantras that is a lot of little small, right actions. And what can you tell me, tell the listeners, what are some of those that we can take?

GABBY: Well, if anyone's listening right now, they're, they've just taken a small action. So, we think sometimes like our recovery has to come overnight.

I love that 12 step slogan, one day at a time, keep it simple, stupid, you know, like just that simplicity of that small action daily begins to heighten your connection to your inner source of strength—yourself within.

And then as you continue to build upon that next right action and that next right action, one you're going to want more of it. And two, you'll begin to see the ripple effect of what that repetition is.

I'm studying Spanish right now with Duolingo, you know, Yo hablo Español con mi app, mi aplicación, Duolingo. And in Duolingo, and in the daily practice, I've got a streak going of like 60 days. So I'm in this commitment to learn, to learn, to learn.

And being in that small 10 minutes a day with Spanish, is giving me so much confidence in the way I can speak and being able to like slowly put full sentences together when I'm talking to mi amigos and mi amigos and it's just incredible and I feel so empowered by that.

And so, instead of saying I have to go take a class and like take up nine hours of my day every day I'm like I'm gonna do 10 minutes a day on Duolingo and within two years maybe I'll be able to give a motivational talk. See?

JOSH: Yeah.

GABBY: [foreign language]

Or Ecuador, or España?

JOSH: Havana.

GABBY: So, that's my plan. If anyone doesn't know Spanish, first of all, if you do know Spanish, I apologize for my Spanglish. And, for, if you do know Spanish, you, you know what I'm saying. My work is to be a writer and a speaker, and I want to, one day, give a talk in Spanish. In a theater, in another country.

JOSH: It's really inspiring. And it's funny.

GABBY: So random. Like, I don't know why. Just one day I was like, let me just relearn Spanish.

JOSH: Well, my partner, Carl is learning Japanese on the same thing.

GABBY: He's more hardcore than I am.

JOSH: No, no, no. I was telling him, Gabby's on the streak. You know, you got to stay on the streak.

I'm like, I'm coaching him from the side. So.

GABBY: The way I'm using Duolingo is actually how I want people to use a Gabby coaching app.

JOSH: How's that?

GABBY: 10 minutes a day. 10 minutes a day. And you can know that as you go and drop into the Gabby coaching app, here's your weekly coaching lesson. Just reading that could get you one step or opening up to one of the meditations.

Or if you're feeling anxious and you open the Get Gaby section and it's like, I've got anxiety, I'll do a two minute practice with you. Or you're about to pick up a drink and you want some support in your addiction, press a button. These little right actions build up into a new language of your life. So it's the same as learning a language like Spanish.

Every day taking 10 minutes a day, I'll have a new language that I can use within my life. If you take those same small right actions every day inside the Gabby coaching app within three, six, seven months, you're going to have a whole new language of how you experience your life and a whole new experience of yourself.

JOSH: You know, for me to that point, like throughout the day, I'll go back and I'll just listen to the affirmation for some reason that's hooked me in and the ability to just have it on my phone and I'll just listen to it right now. Cause sometimes I just need that little.

GABBY: Sometimes you just need that small action.

You could use me, you can be having a coffee and just press the affirmation. That's one small action that day. You could be on a hike and listening to one of the workshops and that's a small action that day. In your car, it's a beautiful time to just listen to some of the coaching lessons and the talks.

The reason that I'm so blown away about how we're here now with the app from where I was is that I've always wanted to be able to make it easy and accessible and soothing for people.

We have to accept that people are on their phones way too much, so at the very least I want it to be a happy place on the phone. Or like Duolingo or any of these other apps that are learning devices, I want to be like that.

I want you to learn from me how to develop your spiritual connection, how to develop emotional resilience, how to strengthen your inner presence, know yourself more, recover from addiction or trauma or whatever is in there. It's all there.

JOSH: Well, you mentioned the Get Gabby section. You know, I love that one. But what was the sort of thought process? What inspired you to do that section now?

GABBY: That was my baby. Because this is a great question. So I have a lot of friends, new friends, old friends on speed dial. And a lot of friends are like, will, you talk to this friend.

She's going through postpartum. I'm like, absolutely. So I've got all these beautiful people on speed dial that connect me. Gabby, I'm flipping out, or I don't know what to do, whoever it might be. And now I can just say, I'm with you, baby. Go to the Get Gabby section and you're feeling anxious right now.

Just press that button and I'll help you get out. Or sweetheart, you can't sleep at night? Go use my Get Gabby sleeping practice. So the Get Gabby section is these two to three minute exercises that we need, you know, confidence boost or just mindful eating practice or getting yourself out of rage, right?

So it's giving yourself these brief moments. And if somebody just used the app for the Get Gabby section, they would greatly benefit even just from that.

JOSH: Yeah. I believe that.

GABBY: It’s having me on speed dial. And that was the thing, Josh, because I kept getting all these texts and DMS and I'm like, I wish I could just be on speed dial for everybody.

And now I am! On freaking speed dial.

[AD BREAK]

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[END AD BREAK]

JOSH: One of the things I think that comes up a lot is just people have questions about manifesting and you say the secret to manifesting is forget what you need. What do you mean by that?

GABBY: Well, when we have a desire, we can be clear about it. We can be excited about it, we can put energy into it, but most importantly, we have to let it go.

Because if we're so hyper focused on the exact time, and the exact way, and the exact height, you know, if it's a man or woman, then we're actually limiting what the miracle truly is.

And so, I think about the years I spent manifesting my son, manifesting my son year after year with so much disappointment, not being able to conceive Oliver.

And then when the moment that I did conceive, I was like, Oh, this should never have happened a day sooner. And so now I go about my life if something isn't happening right away, I'm like, Oh, that's happening. It's just not now. Or maybe in a different way.

And living with that energy of release, having desires and letting them go. Secret to manifesting.

JOSH: You know, that's important for me because I do tend to…

GABBY: Future trip?

JOSH: Well, I have a really tight grip on things and it causes a lot of anxiety. And I think if I let go, it's not like it's going to slip through. I, I have to put this intense energy into something to make it happen. When in fact it's the exact opposite.

GABBY: It's the exact opposite. And I think that that's where a lot of people's overwhelm comes in just in life and in work. It's like, Oh my God, I have to just be like all on all in. And it's no, I'll put an hour in today and come back tomorrow. It doesn't all have to happen overnight.

And also, we're not allowing the universe to really guide us if we're trying to control the outcome.

JOSH: These lessons, we have them in the app.

GABBY: Oh, yeah. Surrender workshops, multiple surrender meditations, trust the universe meditations, workshops on the universe has your back. I mean, it's just all in there.

All in there.

JOSH: Yeah. I think I need to take a deep dive in there. This is a very important lesson and I don't think I'm alone in this, but like I said, you know, letting go of the wheel is, and when you have that sensation, it's remarkable.

GABBY: Yeah.

Do you want me to give you a Gabby coaching app prescription?

JOSH: Yes, I do.

GABBY: So you're feeling like you're future tripping a little, you're controlling, trying to show up with all your energy in the one moment. It was actually last week's coaching, but you can find it in the coaching section. It's the surrender meditation and the exercise on surrender.

JOSH: Okay.

GABBY: And then when you think you've surrendered, surrender more, keep it going.

That's your homework.

JOSH: Got it. Got it. You also say that when you're consistent with your spiritual practice, life becomes truly joyful. How can people stay more spiritually connected despite their busy daily life?

GABBY: It's very similar to the last question. Keep it simple. Just do that one small thing, especially if you do it in the morning.

It sets you up to win. Like in the app, there's the daily design method in the journal, and that's where you would write out the answers to these questions.

JOSH: Do it every morning.

GABBY: Oh, you do? Oh, Josh, I found something that Josh does every morning. So Josh goes in into his journal in the app, your little private journal that nobody can access.

And you answer those four questions, the daily design, and the questions are, who do I want to be today? How do I want to feel today? What do I want to give today? And what do I want to receive today?

And when we start our day, just even just with that daily design method, if somebody just went in there to their journal, and did that practice every day for 40 days, you will see radical shifts in your life, I promise.

You will see manifestations coming into form. And most importantly, you will relax. Because the morning intention is what carries us throughout the day.

Now, can you stop yourself in the tracks if you had a bad morning? Can you go Get Gabby in the afternoon? Yes. But if you use the Gabby coaching app from the moment you wake up and you carry on, that's, that's bomb.

That's the, that's the move.

JOSH: Yeah. I definitely have noticed.

GABBY: Set your alarm for it. You know, your alarm can go off with your morning routine.

JOSH: So, I guess the question is, we sort of touched on this at the beginning of the conversation. Why now? Why did you feel that this was the moment to drop this?

GABBY: There's a few reasons why now for years, I'd be like, well, I can't coach you, but go read this book. And that's great. But now I can say, I can't personally coach you, but actually, no, I can, maybe I'm not talking directly in conversation with you, but I'm talking to you all day long.

And so it became clear that for the growth of my and expansion of me as a human and the mission I'm on, I needed to democratize my work and I needed it to be available, accessible and easy to access for people all over the world.

And so, I think the now is partially my own personal now. The other now would be that I didn't have the team that could have done it before 'cause it's a lot of work to create an app. And I also think that I needed to be in this place in my life.

Like these big milestones in my career have all been divinely planted. So I think that it was the moment.

JOSH: Personally, I think again, not alone in this, like whether it's my personal stuff that I have to deal with every day or just what's going on in the world, where do you turn?

GABBY: I agree. I think that we need a happy, healthy. online experience or phone experience, because up until the app was out, I was like, have my own practice without the phone. But when I turned to the phone, all I would see was like, the news would come up on the phone the first thing. And it was just like, horror, horror, horror, crazy, crazy, crazy.

And so I've cleared that reminder. And now my app is my morning reminder. I can do less heavy lifting because now I can wake up, do my same intentional practice that I do every day, but I could cuddle with my son in bed and press play on a Get Gabby.

Whatever it is that I need, it's right there. I also can put my son to sleep when I'm not in the same state.

So when I'm away and my kid wants me to put him to bed. Sometimes I'll just speak over the phone and give him a story or he's like, I want you to read from your new book.

And it'll be like chapter eight tonight. It's no idea what I'm talking about, but it puts him to sleep. Who just maybe a good bad sign or cause I don't know, but puts him to sleep.

And now, you know, if I'm not available, my husband can just put on or his nanny or whoever's with him can put on a little Gabby.

JOSH: That's amazing.

GABBY: Yeah. And I think your kids out there, guys, I'm going to make some specific Get Gabby's for kids. Let's do some tapping for kids in there. But even many of the already, the meditations can be extremely soothing.

The Get Gabbys are quite good for kids too.

JOSH: Well, you would know this being a parent. I see my friend's kids. A lot of them do deal with anxieties. I don't really remember being anxious as a kid.

GABBY: No, there's a lot more anxiety and a lot more in the air.

JOSH: And I think about the generation that. I grew up, you to a certain degree, you know, without the phone.

GABBY: No phone, no computer.

And then I didn't have a phone in college. Oh, maybe I had a phone. I got a flip phone in college, but I didn't even, you probably had a typewriter.

JOSH: I think it was called an abacus at that point.

GABBY: Oh, excuse me. An abacus.

JOSH: I was just moving the beads across, you know, me and the pharaoh. But I think of the phone, like society-changing event.

You know, it's like a Pandora's box, right? It just, you open it, it never getting that genie back in the bottle and it's how you choose to use it. And what you've done is you chose a way to use it.

GABBY: Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly right. It's beautiful.

JOSH: So thank you for that.

GABBY: You're welcome. De nada.

JOSH: Gracias.

GABBY: So we started this conversation with you interviewing me.

He looks like a deer in headlights. He's like, holy s**t. And I appreciate it because I do want my listeners to know. more of my path.

Many new people come to the podcast and they may have just saw it online or whatever, but I want them to know the authentic truth. You and I were talking to this production company we're working with and they were like, we just need more authentic Gabby.

And are you comfortable sharing your stories? I was like, open up every one of my books and you'll see that I'm more than comfortable sharing my experience.

And I know that it's my duty to do so. So to close the conversation, I want to just remind everybody that they have the power of choice. In any moment, we can choose to go down that addictive path, or we can choose to spiral out in rage, or we can choose to whatever, and that's not always a bad choice.

Sometimes that's the necessary thing we can only do in the moment. But remember, in those moments, you have choice. You can choose that route and just go to the extremes, or you can choose to check in with yourself. And you can choose to practice a breathwork practice or tune on to a Dear Gabby. Tune into the Gabby coaching app and do a practice.

So the moments that you notice yourself on the edge or the precipice of that f-ed up moment of like, I'm going to jump and pick up the drink, or I'm going to go numb out with TV, or I'm going to go do all those things. You can turn to the app and actually yesterday, something really triggering happened and you know this story, but something super triggering happened to me.

And I went home and I was like so in this younger part of myself and so freaked out. And I could see almost like this veil of dissociation coming over me. And I knew that that dissociation was a protection mechanism. But I also knew that it wasn't going to be healthy to walk around all day in that comatose state.

You know, I had to go to the doctor's appointment. I had to go to pick stuff up. I can't walk around like that. I remembered I had a choice and I can choose to turn inward and start to work on my inner experience, which is this is the entire topic of the next book. And I'd made that choice.

And sometimes our choices are so hard to access when we're really deep and flooded and my next book will teach you how to support yourself in that way.

And in those moments when you feel like you're on the precipice of just going deep into that addictive pattern or negative story or spiraling out with worry, remember you have choice in that moment. You can choose to blast all that open. You can choose to blast all that open and go in that direction.

Or you can choose to lean into something different. And it's the muscle memory of putting a new pattern and a new action in place of the anxiety spiral, in place of picking up a drink, that starts to adjust your brain and your neural pathways and helps you create spiritual proof that even in that chaos, you have the power within you to choose again.

And so what choice could you make in that moment? Well, now I'm so freaking happy I can say it. You can just choose to open the Get Gabby app. And that would be my advice. If you feel like you're on that precipice of something scary or you're about to just check out in whatever way you do food, drugs, love, whatever it is.

Open that app and one, see what's revealed to you. It's kind of like opening a card deck. Like the first thing you see is your message. So you see the affirmation, you see that lesson, or you just go right into that Get Gabby section and you know, there's a little, there's a little button you can say, need a miracle and I will be there for you.

JOSH: Gosh, I love that.

GABBY: Beautiful. Use it, baby.

All right. Well, I am obviously really thrilled that this app is in the world. I'm so grateful to have this genuine conversation with you. Thank you for throwing yourself in the hot seat.

JOSH: Sure.

GABBY: And also, Josh is going to be in a lot of hot seats. So, you know, we got to get, we got to get ready for it.

We'll go shopping. So to close this out, let's remind everybody that you have that choice. And if you're not already in the app, go to deargabby.com/app and start the seven day free trial. Just try it. Just do it for the next seven days. do the Get Gabby section for the next seven days or do a meditation for the next seven days.

Then you can decide if you want to stay or go, but try it for free because I just want you to just know it's there because just knowing it's there, it's like knowing that there's a therapist on the line or knowing that there's a 12-step meeting down the street or knowing there's a place to go. And that's where I want you to go.

JOSH: I love that.

GABBY: Beautiful. So head over to DearGabby.com/app. Thanks Joshy.

JOSH: Thank you.

GABBY: If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you're truly committed to miracles. I'm really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode.

Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me, so I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media at @GabbyBernstein.

And if you wanna get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby’d live: deargabby.com. See you next week.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.