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how to find inner peace—finally

There are countless things that disrupt our ability to feel safe, stable or centered. And at times, no matter how hard we seek it, tranquility is elusive. In fact, the harder we seek it, the more elusive it seems. 

When you think about it, it’s kind of strange that we search for inner peace out there instead of in here. 

But of course, there are many reasons we do that. And some of the obstacles that stand in the way of our inner peace are the result of other people’s trauma. My intention is to give you spiritual tools that will help you clear the path to that peaceful place within yourself. 

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unlock inherited trauma, gain inner peace

Every family has its share of wounds that are passed down through generations. While some are obvious, others are subtly transferred as anxieties, fears, beliefs and habits. It’s essential to recognize that your parents’ and family’s burdens are not ones you need to carry. 

In science, a quantum shift is a sudden, fundamental change. Well, you can create a quantum shift in your perception and choose to break away from the burdens of your family’s past traumas. This isn’t about negating history; it’s about understanding that you have the power to heal and not let these wounds dictate your present or your future.

a powerful exercise for finding peace within 

When turmoil surfaces, it often carries with it the vulnerabilities of our younger selves. A powerful exercise in self-compassion involves writing from this raw space, pouring out all the pain, fear and confusion. 

But don’t just stop there. Once you’ve let your younger self speak, switch perspectives. Respond as the mature, calm and resourced adult you are today. How would you comfort a child? How would you reassure a friend? Tap into your qualities of curiosity and understanding. Write until you find a cathartic release or a newfound clarity. Through this process, you’re not just communicating with that younger part of you, you’re healing them.

move your way to inner peace

As I’ve talked and written about extensively, true peace stems from feeling safe within your own body. Somatic movement—that is, any intentional movement that focuses on the internal experience—can help you unlock stagnant energy and release physical burdens. In the episode of Dear Gabby, I shared some of my favorite methods for calming my nervous system and moving, quite literally, through unsettling feelings. 

in this episode I’ll share:

  • My own experience with inherited wounds
  • How to identify an emotional burden that’s not your own
  • Ways to nurture an internal environment of safety 
  • Somatic exercises that create inner peace quickly
  • The need for self-reflection and self-compassion

As I reminded my brave callers and beautiful listeners, the more you connect inwardly, the less you’ll find the need to numb out or soothe yourself externally. 

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weekly card reading

Instead of taking on the fear of others, I reflect love.

Believe it or not, sometimes the emotions we carry around aren’t even our own. We can inherit them from our family members, who inherited them from their ancestors. We can also pick up the negative energy and emotions of those around us—yes, fear is contagious. But so is love. So let’s reject the fear and reflect back the love. It’s yet another way we can amass higher vibes in this world and within us. 

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  • Want more support on your path to inner peace? My NEW gabby coaching membership makes personal growth easy to access. Get weekly lessons, guided meditations and proven manifesting methods to enhance every area of your life—all inside the exclusive member’s app. I’ll be your coach to help you manifest your desires and live with an unshakeable sense of inner peace.
    Start your 7-day free trial today!
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  • In this episode, I suggest observing the 8 C qualities of your undamaged, resourced adult self. They are:
    • Calm
    • Curiosity
    • Clarity
    • Compassion
    • Confidence
    • Courage
    • Creativity
    • Connectedness
  • For a deeper understanding of how to release the emotional burdens that are trapped in your body, read my book Happy Days.
  • Soothing Anxiety Guided Meditation
    This 17-minute meditation will help you calm your mind, release tension and cultivate a sense of inner peace and stillness. Listen now to quiet your thoughts and connect with the present moment.
    Click here to get your free anxiety meditation
disclaimer

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

dear gabby #161 Sep 04, 2023 emotional wellbeing

emotional well-being and finding peace inside

Listen on:

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

GABBY: Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I'm not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

Big day, guys. Listen up, my friends. Oh, I have such a special message for you today. The Gabby Coaching app is here. Yes, my friends, we start the conversation here on Dear Gabby and we carry it out with deep dive coaching inside the Gabby Coaching app. And I'm going to tell you, my friends, it is out in the world.

This is the real deal. My app is officially here, the Gabby Coaching app. There's early member pricing. And these rates are going to go up. So if you are like, yeah, maybe I want Gabby to be my coach in my pocket. Yes. Maybe I want 200 of Gabby's best meditations and manifesting practices. And I want access to her quarterly challenges and journal prompts.

And I want on-demand access of her best motivational talks. And I want her special feature called the Get Gabby section, which is like having her as my personal coach in my pocket. Yeah, I want all that. Then this is your moment, people, to go try it out.

Go to deargabby.com/app. You can try the seven-day free trial.

When you try it now, that locks you in for the early member pricing. It's gonna go up, so don't mess around. And when you're in the app and you have access to it, you get all of my challenges, like my manifesting challenge that's coming up, and my relationship challenge, and all the challenges throughout the year are yours.

So, if you're feeling anxious, if you can't sleep, if you need a miracle, if you want to manifest your dreams, if you are just struggling with any area of your life, I can help you. It's going to be like having me on speed dial. So if you want to go check out the Google play or the app store, search for the Gabby coaching app.

Go to your 7-day free trial and lock in the exclusive member pricing. You can also go to deargabby.com/app. People, this is major news. I'm really excited to share it with you.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I'm your host, Gabby Bernstein, and if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you're ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let's get started.

GABBY: Welcome back to Dear Gabby, guys. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. I'm in the studio and I have been doing some vocal lessons for myself because I've been really listening to my voice and kind of terrified of all the wear and tear. And I was practicing not speaking last night when I was hanging out with my makeup artist before having dinner.

Alex, you've heard about her. I'm having dinner with Alex and I'm like, I can't talk. And she's just sitting there like silent and I'm like, you can talk to me, but I couldn't respond. And I realized how much I talk. My poor vocal cords have had abuse. I have been abusing them. So I just have to figure out one, how to talk less in my life.

But then meanwhile, here I am and I'm learning Spanish. And so anytime I enter any situation where I can speak Espanol con mi amigos, I am speaking. All day long. Okay. I pretend I know Spanish, but I like to talk and people be like, well, why do you want to learn Spanish? And I'm like, because I like to talk.

So here I am and I'm looking at my life and seeing the years ahead of me as being a motivational speaker and a podcaster. I think I have to talk less in my real life. Which is kind of a strange, sad thing, but it's also a really beautiful thing because it's giving me this opportunity to almost be more of a viewer than a preacher in everyday moments.

So I'm just excited to sort of adjust my energy a little bit. That's just a little random riff on what's happening with me. And I thought it might be interesting to just let you guys in on my desire to stop talking as I start a podcast where I'm going to talk for the next half hour. This is my time that I want to be talking.

I want to be talking to you. I don't necessarily need to waste my voice on the streets or in the cars or wherever I am in the world. I can just keep it here and really protect it and listen more. And so, think about those areas in your life where you might be unconsciously in a setting where you're maybe more outspoken or you're one of those people that just sits back and doesn't say much and see what it might be like to exercise the opposite.

See what it might be like to be the person in the meeting that speaks up more when you're someone who stays silent. Maybe see what it's like to be the person who's just listening and really taking it in and not constantly trying to fill the empty space; it's a big deal. Try it out. It's really scary.

Alright. So today is not about my vocal cords. It's not about how we tune down the volume or raise it. It's about you. This show, it's about giving you an opportunity to be seen, to be heard and to lead this show today. So we're going to do a Gabby AMA, a real hardcore, Dear Gabby AMA. I want to hear what you have for me.

I want to respond to you. I want to give you concrete tools and I want it to be like a private coaching session. Although thousands of people will listen, but listen, you're brave, you're courageous. You come here for this. I want to hear you. I want to really check in directly with you.

And if you love this episode and you love this kind of conversation and you like hearing me workshop people and coach people, then definitely go download my Gabby coaching app, get a free seven-day trial.

And you can just go to deargabby.com/app and get endless amounts of coaching from me. New weekly coaching, over a hundred meditations, workshops, you're just going to get all of Gabby right there. So if you're loving this and you want more and you want me to be your coach, not just the coach to the people on the show, go to deargabby.com/app.

Alright, who do we have? Nicole is on the back end. Who would you like to bring up? Let's bring it in, people. Who's our first guest?

RACHEL: Hi!

GABBY: Rachel?

RACHEL: Yes. I'm Rachel. Hi. How are you?

GABBY: Well, hi, sweetheart. Hi. You've got some fireworks behind you.

RACHEL: I do. I think this is from my 4th of July. I haven't been on since on zoom since the 4th of July, but that's fine.

GABBY: If you haven't been on zoom since the 4th of July, you are my hero.

RACHEL: Oh, thanks.

GABBY: I spend way too much time on Zoom.

RACHEL: Right? Notice how like you're struggling with the voice currently. So, yeah, so there's a lot of transitions happening in my life right now. I'm actually due with my second child on July 20th, and there's just a lot going on in our lives.

We bought a new house and have moved into it. And there's just a lot of wounds showing up for me financially because I'm not able to work currently and I won't be able to work for a little bit. I'm looking for like freelance jobs and things of that nature, but I struggle because I have deep, deep financial wounds that have been generational with my family.

My family is not very good with money, and I want to know if there's any suggestions on how to heal those. I've done a lot of root chakra healing, but still I just feel totally blocked off from money and finances in general, and just seem like a novice at it. Every single time something comes up. So. Yeah.

GABBY: Oh, this is beautiful. And I'm sure you're not alone in this experience. And congratulations on the baby.

RACHEL: Thank you.

GABBY: And it's also when we are birthing, it's a time when our familial, historical wounds come to the surface. So you can say, hello, money wound. Here you are again. Thank you for revealing yourself to me and helping me shine the crystal.

Let's start there. Okay? And your parents and your family's wounds don't have to be yours. So some of this is about recognizing and owning that you don't have to hold the trauma of their past. So sometimes we take on that burden of our family members and we take on the burden of our history.

But we can actually have a quantum shift around that. We can look at those stories and choose for them not to be ours. I can say that to you with a lot of conviction because I've been there. I too grew up with a family story that was very rooted in fear of financial insecurity. And I carried that for many years.

When I was in my early twenties, I had a therapist that said something that changed my life. She said your family struggles don't have to be yours. And for whatever reason, on that day, I heard that and I just was so proud to say, Oh yeah, that's serious. I want to take that in. And so I'm going to say the same thing to you right now. Your family struggles don't have to be yours.

So I'm not asking you to try to erase decades of historical wounds or trauma or belief systems that are really ingrained in you, but I am asking you to recognize the choice that you have. You have choice. To carry on the legacy of financial insecurity or to choose to stop it. You've already made the choice because you're asking about it.

You said you were working on your root chakra. You're trying, you're open, you're ready, you're willing. You're not so rooted in it. That willingness is enough to get the ball rolling. But I want to ask you, sweetheart, what is that part of you that's in such financial insecurity? What is it repeating? What's the story that it has on repeat?

RACHEL: It's just really unworthiness that it's not available to me, that if I do get some sort of compensation and I don't deserve to enjoy it. And there's scarcity constantly, but it changes from scarcity to fear that I don't know what I'm doing with it, that I'm not worthy of it, that it's going to come in just as fast as it goes out, that I have to spend, spend, spend, or else I'm not producing, or there's just so much there.

GABBY: And you can see so clearly how that reflects the storyline of your family.

RACHEL: Yeah.

[AD BREAK]

GABBY: It can be really hard to make something stick. I definitely know that for myself. I have had to practice a lot of habits repeatedly to really get them to stick. And when it comes to finding time to improve my overall health and well being, I just have to make a commitment and just jump into it. And I do it the best way I know how.

By taking small steps each day to retrain my mind. And creating these little steps can lead to a big action. And this is what is called habit stacking. I do this with a lot of my daily routines. For example, I will leave my journal on my bedside table so that I remember to write every night, or I'll leave my yoga mat right next to my door of my office so that I can actually do some stretching before I sit down to a day at the computer.

And I do the same thing with Seed’s DS1 Daily Symbiotic. I'll leave a glass of water by my coffee maker, and right next to that glass of water, I have a little beautiful bottle, Seed’s DS1 Daily Symbiotic. This way, it's a daily habit that sticks. And so here's the cool part. It not only supports your digestive health, but it also supports your skin, and even your heart health.

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[END AD BREAK]

GABBY: So I want you to do this little assignment. I want you to step away after this recording, and I want you to write out the story. All the things that you just said to me. I have to spend, to produce, I'm always in lack. Write it out. Put it on the page. And then I want you to write back to it as your adult, resourced, calm self who's with me right now, the way that you would speak to your child.

The way that you would speak to a friend and I want you to respond. See if you can access any qualities of compassion or curiosity and just write with that part of you. And you might find yourself writing that I hate this part of me. I wish it would go away. That's okay. Just keep writing and writing and writing until you truly feel any kind of relief.

Even if it's just a cathartic relief, or it's a sense of compassion or clarity inside. And then I want you to notice, you have to write this down, I want you to notice if you see any C qualities of self, we've talked about this on the show. Self is our undamaged, resourced, adult self. And self is courageous, calm, connected, confident, committed, clear, compassionate.

I'll put out the 8C qualities in the show notes of this show. And I want you to just notice, is there any clarity? Do I notice any creativity? Is my heart open at all, but this would be after, you know, writing out the whole negative story, not even a negative story, just the, the wounded story of this part of you that's young and holding onto the burden of your past and your family and stories and just get it out.

Just put it on the page. Don't judge it. Just get it out. And then, once you feel like it's out, just slowly start to notice how you feel towards it and write. Back to it in response and like I said, even if your response right away is you, I hate you. I don't want you in my life anymore. That's okay. Just keep writing.

Keep writing and keep writing because just getting out what that part of you needs to say and then responding to it with whatever part of you is in response, clears space for you to just start to address what's happening on the inside, rather than trying to control it.

So much of your days, I imagine, are spent trying to push down or heal your root chakra or do something to shun this part of you.

And sweetheart, that part of you that has financial insecurity is a very young part of you, and it needs space to be heard. And even if your response to it isn't beautiful right away, that's just another part of you defending against it. And that's okay. It's just get into dialogue with all these different emotions that have to be heard and have to be seen.

And give yourself permission to stop shunning them and start honoring them. How does that feel for you?

RACHEL: If that is... Something that I can, I can definitely do. It's, it's just, it's, it's so scary because it's such a zone where I don't feel, I have never felt safe in.

GABBY: So does it feel scary to even let it out?

RACHEL: It does because like there's an admittance there, an admittance that I'm in similar situations that my family members, my parents are in.

GABBY: Let me tell you something that might clear that for you. We all are or have been in situations that we learned from our family. So recognizing that connection, every single person listening right now, has some family burden that they have in some way carried on that has really helped them weave the tapestry of their life. And those of us who show up for it, those of us who listen to shows like Dear Gabby read books like mine or other self-help books or go to therapy, do spiritual practice. We have the gift of helping to unblend from those parts of us and those parts of our family.

But right here, right now, let that part of you know that, sweetheart, you're not alone. Everyone's carrying on the burdens of their family's past. Even back, back, back, back. There's studies around epigenetics and family members that have been deceased years and years and years ago from Holocaust or slavery.

And how much that's affected the genes of those individuals and the trauma burden that we carry from our ancestors. So just know you're not alone in carrying that burden. And sometimes if we just become a little bit casual with it, like, Oh, you're here. Of course you're here. My baby's coming in. I've got a lot going on.

Of course, of course I would have this big s**t come up. Okay. Let's have a conversation. Maybe it's possible. And if it feels too scary, babes. Don't do it now. Wait till my next book comes out and I'll guide you further.

RACHEL: Perfect. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you.

GABBY: In the meantime, you know, when we're dealing with these old historical wounds, just be gentle with yourself.

And really, even if you just get into that casual dialogue with the part of you and you're like, Oh yeah, of course you're here. I get it. This is a big time. Of course this would be coming up—such a gentler way to perceive yourself. You got it?

RACHEL: I got it. Thank you.

GABBY: Enjoy that baby.

RACHEL: Thank you. Thank you.

GABBY: Give Nicole your information because I want to send you my birthing affirmations.

So thank you, sweetheart.

RACHEL: Thank you.

GABBY: I see you're very emotional. I'm really happy to see that. Go journal now. If you feel called. Great. You got it up. Ready to go. Good luck with that baby. Bye, sweetie. Beautiful. Who do we have now?

Hi, sweetheart.

AMANDA: Hi. I'm so excited to be here. I got the email like two minutes before 11:30 and I don't check my email regularly.

So I was like, I knew it was a sign from the universe that I had to join.

GABBY: That is definitely a sign. You're here. I'm so happy you're here. And tell me your name.

AMANDA: Amanda.

GABBY: Hi, Amanda.

AMANDA: Well, my question is, I am in the middle of a health journey right now, and it was originally prompted by the fact that I had a very hard year and because of that, or one symptom of that was that I had gained a significant amount of weight.

And so I started this journey with the goal of losing that weight. And I've, I've read every single one of your books and I've been following your work for years. So when I went on this journey, I knew how important it was to detach from the outcome and not be so focused on it.

But what I'm struggling with and what my question is, is how do you detach from an outcome when the outcome is pretty black and white like you either lose the weight or you don't and so it's been… I've been struggling.

I know in my heart I have to focus on feeling good and just let go of the outcome, but it's hard when you know, it's it's either you lost it or you didn’t. And so it just doesn't feel like there are alternatives to be successful. And so that's why I'm struggling.

GABBY: Here's your alternative. What was the experience, story, belief system that led to the weight gain?

AMANDA: It was a lot of fear that what was happening is my family was going through a really intense divorce among other things.

And then at the same time, I was leaving my job and applying to this really rigorous academic program. And so it just felt with my family, which was sort of like my foundation was crumbling. And then everything that was going to be with my career at that moment just felt really unsafe.

And so it was a ton of just fear that I didn't know what was going to happen. And everything I thought I knew was unfolding.

GABBY: So the outcome is different than you think. Right now, your outcome is to lose weight, get healthier physically. That attempt with exercise and white knuckling it and diet, yeah, that works, doesn't last. What has to come through right now is to heal that sense of inner safety, to establish and reconnect to the inner safety.

So, sweetheart, we all have these experiences in our life that create a sense of unsafety. You said my world was crumbling. My family was my foundation. My foundation was crumbling. So, of course you would turn to something to numb out that fear and that suffering and that pain. And in internal family systems therapy, we call this a Firefighter, right?

It's like, oh, I'm feeling all these feelings. And normally I could manage them with being great at work or having my family to rely on, but I can't manage them anymore. And so I need to go put that fire out right now. And that's often through a drug of choice, alcohol, drugs, any form of addiction, and most often food.

And so textbook, I mean, it's, it's beautiful to see how common this is for all of us. We all have these managers. And when those managers aren't working anymore, the firefighters are like, let me put out the fire. And so instead of now trying to manage that firefighter, right? I don't want your other parts of you to develop where you're like controlling or whatever to push down that firefighter.

It's so much more gentle to be able to first and foremost, witness that firefighter with compassion. Say thank you to, for the food addiction, or I don't know if you would refer it to binging or whatever it was that you would call it, but to say thank you to that. Because it was keeping you safe for a period of time.

And now it's about establishing that sense of safety without having to numb it out, without having to put out the fire, pick up the food. And so the work is not how much am I going to exercise and how much great food am I going to eat? But it is absolutely part of it. I mean, of course, nourish yourself, have a beautiful diet, move your body.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. All of the above. But in what ways are you able to start to tend to that part of you that feels so unsafe inside? One thing that I would recommend that you could begin doing today is to start to really create some safety in your body. In my book, Happy Days and inside the Gabby Coaching app, I do a lot of great practices for feeling safe somatically.

So we've got chapter four of Happy Days and the whole chapter is about experiencing a sense of safety inside your body. And so, as we start to establish that safety inside, we actually no longer need to look for it outside. And so some of those practices, one is your heart and your hand on your belly.

You hear me do this a lot here and doing a hold, a heart hold, breathing with your hand on your heart and your hand on your belly, or putting your hand on your heart and your hand on your forehead.

And that hold is really soothing, really relaxing. Do that before you go to bed at night. Just give yourself that body experience.

I really find that when I'm in a place of being really reactive, getting into some kind of pigeon pose, opening up my hips because our hips are storing so much of that trauma and that pain and that suffering and that emotional burden. Get into your hips. So do a little bit of hip movement, hip exercise before or after your workout, whatever it is that you want to do.

Listen to positive affirmations while you're moving. So in the Gabby Coaching app, we have meditations with positive affirmations. And when you go to the seven day free trial, you can get that for free and just move with it and walk with it. And my first book, Add More ~ing to Your Life was all about rethinking moving and receiving.

And so it was really all geared towards changing our thought forms and then using those affirmations while we're physically moving because when we're moving, we're releasing stagnant energy, we're releasing burdens physically.

And so using our body somatically to release that tension and that trauma while we reinforce in our brain, the beliefs that we want to carry, really allowing the shift to occur, allowing your neural pathways to, to work on your behalf, to really let it set in.

Because sometimes we have these hits of inspiration or we do a meditation and we just bounce back into life, right? We just jump back into the next fear, but this will really lock it in for you.

AMANDA: Thank you so much.

GABBY: Does that resonate with you?

AMANDA: Yeah. Absolutely. So, you know, I wasn't thinking of it that way, that the cause of me feeling unsafe was what brought all the weight gain. So it's not so much about figuring out how to lose the weight, but figuring out how to not feel unsafe anymore and how to make my body feel safe. And then hopefully weight loss will just be a by product of feeling.

GABBY: It will be. It will be. It's not even hopefully, I promise it will be now. Okay. Of course. Eat good foods, love your body, nourish yourself, even ask yourself, do I feel safe in this moment before you eat a meal? Like if you're picking up that snack, just check in with your body. Notice what you're feeling, become curious about it and send some compassion to it.

This is all my next book, by the way, I'm giving you a preview of my next book. Because when we have these moments of pause and connection inward, the outward soothing becomes less and less. And we start to just start to change our patterns. I'm feeling like we have a shift today.

AMANDA: Yeah, definitely. It just totally shifted my, my goals, what I should be focusing on.

So I really appreciate it.

GABBY: I'll address the goal too. It's not to stop feeling unsafe, but to remember the safety within. It's already in you. You don't have to find anything. Thanks, Amanda.

AMANDA: Thank you so much.

[AD BREAK]

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[END AD BREAK]

JASON: Hello.

GABBY: Hi, Jason.

JASON: How are you?

GABBY: Good. Oh, Jay, you're back.

JASON: I'm back.

GABBY: What a beautiful moment. Nice to see you, my love.

JASON: Hey, you too. How have you been?

GABBY: I've been really good. Yeah.

JASON: So my question, kind of like you, my throat chakra has been a little weird in terms of speaking. So I think there's obviously something going on there with my vocal cords, same thing, I'm being a little tired, a little strained.

I guess how to relieve the stress of that, maybe through meditation or prayer or—

GABBY: And you're a speaker and a healer, right?

JASON: Yes.

GABBY: Oh yeah. I love that you keep coming back to me, such a gift that you are. So Jay, what in your life are you not saying?

JASON: It's a good question. I think maybe I don't speak my truth as much as I should.

Whether that's to people, maybe in the industry or who's around me, I think maybe I just hold back a little bit, maybe it's a little bit of that childhood cause I was super shy when I was a child. So it was a lot of that children ought to be seen and not heard type thing. So maybe that's going to come. I don't know.

GABBY: Yeah. And every time I meet you, I see you developing your gifts more and more. And you have a connection to your grandmother who's deceased, right?

JASON: Yes.

GABBY: Oh, good memory, Gabby. Did she hold space to hear you?

JASON: You know, I never actually met her, which is kind of crazy.

GABBY: Just comes through in your guides.

JASON: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which is pretty wild.

GABBY: Okay, cool. I want you to call on her. There's a few things I'm going to recommend. Okay. So first things first is to get to know that part of you, the little boy whose voice was shut down and ask him what he needs. Just do this on your own. I also want you to, again, much like our earlier guest, give him voice.

So open your journal and say, Little Jason, the voice that was shut down, what do you want to say? Tell me what you want me to know. Get it out. Get it out. Is there also a part of you that feels like you're trying to be heard, like you're pushing? I'm just wondering, because that's personal to me.

JASON: Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, a little bit.

GABBY: I hear the strain in your voice.

JASON: Yeah, you hear it. Yeah.

GABBY: Are you talking a lot too?

JASON: Yeah, I teach and clients every day. So—

GABBY: Do you notice when you're teaching and with your clients that you're in fully embodied in alignment or do you notice that you're maybe trying to get a message across wanting to really put it out there?

JASON: Yeah, I mean, it's a little bit of both trying to get in alignment and getting a message and then it's just creating more stress maybe than not.

GABBY: Right, right, right. So when we have a strained voice, there's an unconscious part of us that's trying to be heard, that believes that I'll only be heard if I push it out, if I scream it, if I prove it.

I don't doubt that you believe in what you're doing and that you know what you're doing and that you're super grounded in it. I just sense that there's an unconscious silencer inside, right, that you might be fighting against.

JASON: Right. Yeah.

GABBY: So a few things, you practically, you and I can share YouTube videos of vocal warmups and practices, which are really helpful.

But what they really are doing most is they're getting us connected to our breath. So I'm going to give you some of the tools right now, and this is also really beneficial for anyone listening, just breath practices, right? One I learned this morning from YouTube, put your hand on your belly. I'm adding that to it.

And start by just saying, shh, deep inhale in, exhale, shh, inhale. Don't raise your shoulders, but just extend your diaphragm.

Let it be a little longer, shh. And then now try this. Flutter your diaphragm with a shh shh shh.

Making sure that your diaphragm is just fluttering, activating the diaphragm.

My guess is that that part of you that's trying to silence you inside is possibly blocking and locking your diaphragm.

When we speak with our diaphragm, we can speak for hours and be healthy and well. Think about musicians who go on tour, sing, sing, sing, they obviously have vocal rest and they have vocal practices.

But they're breathing. I once saw a Lady Gaga video and she did some like crazy bomb ass like, almost like screaming singing. And it was Howard Stern and he's like, do you ever worry about your voice? And she goes, no, because I know how to breathe. So why are we holding our breath? Get into that inquiry.

JASON: Yeah. For sure.

GABBY: Another really, really good one. Go ahead.

JASON: I think we just forget. We just, from talking so much, we forget to, you know, forget to breathe sometimes. I think we forget to.

GABBY: We forget to breathe and those of us who have a message that we want to get out. It's urgent. We want to share this message.

We want to get out to the world. So we have to really ground ourselves in that breath, slow it down, and even doing it as I talk to you right now, but right with that part of you that feels silenced or the part of you that feels like you need to get it out, you know, just give voice to all of it. See what it needs to reveal.

JASON: Thank you.

GABBY: Thank you. I love seeing you back on the show when we do Dear Gabby live, like when we like have the show. I gotta get you there.

JASON: Yeah. That was, that was great. I appreciate you.

GABBY: More to come, my friend.

JASON: Oh, awesome. Thank you so much. Appreciate you.

GABBY: Yeah. I adore you. So good to see you. Keep doing what you're doing. We need your voice.

JASON: Take care. Yeah. Thank you.

GABBY: All right. Let's wrap up the show. So, my friends, what a beautiful episode. I'm really proud of everyone that came through here. I think that there's a beautiful moment of a through line that came through for me, which is that we need to look inward and tend to the burdened parts inside the parts of us that are saying, Oh, I don't have enough money, or I can't have my voice heard, or I'm not good enough.

And instead of trying to find external fixes. Turn our attention inward, check in and start to offer more relief to the belief systems that dwell inside. Ah, so nice. So, so nice. I love you guys. I look forward to seeing you next Monday. Have a beautiful week.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you're truly committed to miracles. I'm really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode.

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