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What do you do when you feel like you can’t depend on yourself? How do you manifest what’s meant for you when you don’t even know what that is? And how do you balance the pressure to do with the freedom to simply be?

This live ‘Dear Gabby’ Q&A episode tackles these big questions and more, offering practical guidance, inspiring stories, and a reminder that the answers you seek are already within you.

Learn how to cultivate unshakeable faith in yourself and watch as your dreams become a reality.

Listen for practical strategies for:

  • Finding safety within: How to depend on yourself, especially when you can’t depend on your surroundings.
  • Manifesting from the inside out: Healing core beliefs to attract and keep what you desire.
  • Living in the flow: Trusting your intuition and finding joy in the present moment.

Get ready to feel inspired, empowered, and connected to your inner wisdom.

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disclaimer

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

dear gabby #261 May 12, 2025 manifesting

from stuck to unstoppable: how to cultivate self-belief and manifest your dreams

[00:00:00] The following podcast is a dear media production.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I'm your host Gabby Bernstein, and if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you're ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let's get started. Welcome back to Dear Gabby. Welcome back my friend. Today I am gonna teach you how to go from stuck to unstoppable.

How to cultivate the self-belief and self-trust that you need to manifest your dreams. And this is a topic that I think so many of us feel right now. We need to get unstuck and we wanna open up our endless. Capacity. Capacity to live in a way where we feel limitless. And I really want you to open your heart to that right [00:01:00] now.

Really think about some of the big questions that come up for you. This episode is a really special episode. I know you guys love my live talks, and this is a recent live q and a when I was on tour for my book, Self-Help and I was in Boston and it was one of my favorite. Q as of the entire tour and this specific part of the q and a, there is some incredible questions that came through.

You know, how do you go from stuck to unstoppable, and what do you do when you feel like you can't depend on yourself, and how do you manifest what's meant for you when you don't? Even know what that is. And these questions really blew my mind. I was opened up in a way where I was allowing so much guidance to come through, and I'm really excited to answer those questions for you guys today.

And my answers are gonna help you cultivate this unshakeable faith in yourself. And when we access that unshakeable faith inside, that's when we can. Step back and be a co-creator. In our reality. We're [00:02:00] no longer trying to force and control, but we're in an energy of allowing, and so I want you to consider the lessons that move through this.

These are messages that I teach from my newest book, Self-Help. This is your chance to change your life. And the quickest way to trust yourself, have confidence in yourself is through the four step practice that's in this book, and it's an opening to that book right now here on today's podcast. The lessons in this podcast are so powerful because they're gonna start to put you back into self energy, which is your highest self, your energy that is most aligned with the universe and the main practice of the Four Step Check-in, which is one of the big practices I've been teaching 'cause it's all in my book.

Self-Help. That practice is actually showing up as one of the tools I've given in my trust the universe Challenge as to trust the universe. We have to trust ourself and so that self-help check in the four steps of trusting in yourself. I. Are gonna be really, really powerful to helping you get back into alignment, [00:03:00] get unstuck, and go from stuck to unstoppable.

So if you like this episode and you're like, I wanna go further with this, Gabby, I want you to coach me more, I definitely wanna coach you. So check out the 21 Day Trust the Universe challenge. It's a 21 day journey that I'll take you on one day at a time, trusting the universe. Trusting yourself, transforming fear into faith, aligning with your divine guidance, aligning with the wisdom of the universe, manifesting more and all.

That's at dear gabby.com/universeChallenge. I have thousands of people have been going through it. I've got so many incredible testimonials from people being like, this was game changing. I took myself through it multiple times now and it has absolutely rocked my world. I'm not even kidding you. Like by day two, there was so much synchronicity just.

Wildly blowing me over. I, I kind of, it's unbelievable. Like even if you have a spiritual practice, then you do something like this where you elevate it, it just kicks it up into another notch. So enjoy the trust the universe challenge Again, it's Dear gabby.com/universe challenge and [00:04:00] dive into this episode.

Listen all the way through to the end. This is such a cool q and a and it really, really, really brought home this message that you can trust in self. And when you connect to that self energy. The universe can deliver to you in ways you'd never imagined. So just dive into this. Enjoy this, guys. It's such a good episode.

Stick around to the end. I love you.

I wanna hear from you. I wanna workshop you. I wanna bring this to life, and whatever needs to come through for you, and I also wanna play a game with you. It's a really fun game. It's called. My Question is. And the reason we play this game, my question is, is we have lots of stories. We all have big stories that we wanna share, and sometimes maybe a story is necessary and I'll ask and I'll be curious, but I also wanna hear from as many of you as I can tonight.

And so I'm just gonna ask you to ask your question. Hi. We came from Canada to see you, girlfriend? Yes. Oh, honey. Honey, go. You two. Oh my people. I love you. Don't worry. I'm coming to you. I'm working on a Canadian [00:05:00] tour and we'll be there. Oh, you guys, my question is, what do you do? I'm sorry. When you do all the work, you do all your work, but the people around you is not with you.

You know, when you check in with your parts, you know what the air is, you know where the problem is, but you cannot change your surrounding. What do you do? Yeah. So I've had this question a few times come up in different audiences when you can't change your surroundings. There's two answers to this question.

In the instances where your surroundings may be unsafe, my advice is always to get help. Get local help, call a hotline, get the help that you need, whatever that might be. If you're in a situation that is unsafe. I have resources on my website. There's many resources on the internet, and I always will say that because I want people to make sure that they take care of your safety.

It's not that part. It's when people depend on [00:06:00] you. For an example, I am the only one for those people, but I cannot show them my true self, but they do depend on me for everything. Okay, what do you do? So the person that needs to depend on you most is you. And how do you learn how to depend on you? Four steps.

The part of you that's in a belief, what's the belief that you wanted to work with tonight? I can show them. What I really feel that I can't show others what I really feel. Okay. Have you ever shown yourself, have you ever been in the presence of those feelings? Have you been giving? No. 'cause I don't think I ever allow myself to be in.

You haven't allowed it situation? No. Okay. So this is the simplicity. Do whatever you need to do with them. So the patterns aren't necessarily gonna change overnight. Right guys? So if I said take away your protection mechanisms tomorrow, you'd freak out. You would lose your mind. So I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that unless you're someone who's trying to get clean and sober and you wanna walk into a 12 step room and you're like, I'm gonna put down the drink and the drug.

Okay, that's a big deal. That's [00:07:00] abstinence. But abstinence without the work is not gonna work, right? So you may not be able to put down these patterns immediately, but what you can do is start to check in with them. And so what I want you to do is just get into an energy of just one minute a day, checking in with the part of yourself that believes that you have to help everybody else and you can't help yourself.

Okay. Tune inward and that part of yourself that I can't show my true feelings, the feelings that, that are very ripe and alive for you. In this moment, I want you to do the four steps. I want you to turn your attention inward. I want you to be curious about that part of yourself and offer those questions.
What I really want you to do is there's a chapter in the book called Let It Out, and it's a chapter about journaling with these parts. I want you to journal with the parts. So you interview these parts of yourself, or at the top of the page, you'd be like, okay, who am I checking in with? And then the next step is asking the questions.

What do I know about you? How long have you been around? And then what do you need? Let it out. Let it out. Journal, journal, journal. Do it once a day, twice a day. You can do this with [00:08:00] back pain. You can do this with jaw tension. I do it with my jaw all the time. You can do this with anxiety. There's a chapter called Anxious Parts.

Anybody have anxiety? Do you have a pulse? Yes. Okay, so we can check in with that Anxiety. So imagine instead of being in that anxious state and feeling like, what do you normally do with anxiety? You're like, push it away. Force it to go down. Do something over it. No, check in with it. Offer it your grace.

Offer it yourself. Energy. So my love, you're here for a reason. You're here to hear me say. That you don't need anybody else around you to change. You do the work inside and they will follow. And I can promise you that.

I can promise you that. I can swear by that. When your energetic state changes, when your beliefs, your core beliefs change, you are no longer a vibrational match for other people's [00:09:00] bullshit. It doesn't work anymore. You hear me? Yes. Four steps. Thank you. Who's got the mic? Right here? Just stand up, up top.

Yes. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. I am so starstruck. I, I listen to you every night before bed. I brought like books because they're like my bible. You inspire me so much. You helped me get one of the jobs that I have right now. I was listening to you actually today at lunch because I was kind of stressed out with an Excel spreadsheet, so you helped me through it.

I wore my grandma's perfume to try and channel this right now. I'm like speechless. I don't even know what to say. What's your name? My name's Julia. Julia. You're beautiful and you're making me feel wonderful. Oh my God, I love you [00:10:00] and I wanna say that I am so happy that my work has served you, and I hope that you know that I am your good friend.

Even though we don't know each other yet. I know like you have helped me through so many challenges. And so last year at this time, I was unemployed and. It was a really tough time. You know, I was beating myself up and everything and I started, you know, listening to your meditations, your talks, your, your everything.

And so, you know, at first I was like a little doubtful because I was denied from my job that I had interviewed for, and I really wanted it. And everyone was like, oh, sorry, we're moving on to the next candidate. And so I went for a long walk. I was listening to one of your talks and I was feeling the momentum of like walking into my work building, going up the elevator that I had interviewed in, sitting [00:11:00] in that conference room and interviewing.

And then a few months later I get a call and they were like, so your position's back open. Would you like to take it? And I was like, oh my God. I was like driving in the car. I was like, sure. In between that, I kept seeing a sign of Chicago. I was like, this is kind of weird 'cause I don't have ties to Chicago, but it was like Chicago, Chicago, Chicago.

I kept seeing it and that's where my headquarter is at. Ah. And I was like, oh my God, it all makes sense. And my boss was from Chicago, so it all just started clicking and I was like. Gabby works girlfriend. The work works, but the coolest part is, is that's actually our natural state. Our natural state is living in the flow, listening to that guidance, listening to that wisdom.

Truthfully, [00:12:00] we let ourselves live in the awe and the wonder of the universe. We will be guided to experiences and to opportunities and to live in this sense of knowing, even when we don't know how. There is a beautiful passage. My favorite quote is from a text called The Course in Miracles. It is those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait and wait without anxiety.

How do we live like that? What do we do? How do we get there? We attune to our nervous system. We heal and tend to those parts of ourselves, and then in that calm space, we can do the manifesting practices. The problem with the manifesting practices is that if we don't tend to the younger parts inside and we don't tend to the inner healing, we will attract the things that we desire, but we won't keep them.

Or we will get close, but it won't be this desire that we genuinely want or whatever. Or we will consistently just block our self-sabotage and just get in [00:13:00] the way. See with me guys, if you want to really, truly manifest, this is the real manifesting flex. The real manifesting flexes to heal the core beliefs.

You manifest what you believe, you manifest who you are. You manifest the energy that you put out. And what you said that was profound, and this is a beautiful lesson for all of you, is that she visualized herself going up the elevator, walking into the office. She even said, I felt the feeling. This is a tool.

This is a practice without the self-help you might visualize, but not really feel it. The feeling she had, the faith and that feeling is what allowed that manifestation to come into form. I've lived that many times in my life. For years, I sat with a vision and a desire to be interviewed by Oprah when I was in my late twenties.

I had a few books out. I was wanting to be on Oprah at the time. It was like, you know, Oprah was like the TikTok star. Now it's like a TikTok star, but at the time it was Oprah and I had a vision board, and I would sit in front of the vision board and I would meditate for a year. I did this, I took a picture of Oprah, and then I took a picture of myself and I took, not [00:14:00] myself, the person sitting across from her being interviewed, I cut their head off.

I put my head on. I beheaded to the interviewee, and then I sat and visualized and meditated and visualized and meditated, and felt into the feelings, just like our friend up at the top. And I felt into the feelings. And I felt into the feelings, and I allowed that joy to move through me. And I visualized.

And then one day I was at my desk and I took a little post-it and I wrote down, I'm ready to be on Oprah. Next day a phone call comes in from a Chicago area code. Hey Gabby, this is a producer at Harpo. We would like you to be on Super Soul Sunday. I said, oh, I've been waiting for this call.

Mm-hmm. These moments in our life, these moments of synchronicity, they come out of faith and they come out of patience and trusting and knowing. And then tonight, the work you do tonight, they come out of freedom inside. Living with that freedom and ease is the manifestation first. Right? Getting the job is second.[00:15:00] 

Getting the lover is second. Getting the money and the cash is second, third, fourth. The feeling, the ease, the freedom inside the trust, and the knowing that you're safe inside that self can help. That's the manifestation. And some of you came here tonight, you might have been like, oh, you know, I wanna just get those tips to manifest and get the cash, and get the stuff and the love, and the blah, blah, blah, blah.
All that's great, but guess what? It won't work unless you heal and tend to the beliefs that have held you back.

I was having dinner with my friend Mona Van and her fiance Gary V. You probably might know Gary Vaynerchuk. And Mona is this incredible wellness expert and she's kind of picked out like, this is the only product you should be using for cleaning. And I said, Mona, you've gotta convince my husband to stop using the generic brand.

That aren't clean, the ones that have all the chemicals and tell 'em how bad it is. And so at the table, she starts to like go on a rant about how bad all these chemicals are in our [00:16:00] products. And then I said, okay, well what are we gonna replace it with? And she goes, branch basics. And now we are finally a branch basics, complete home.

We are really, really thrilled to be finally using a company that has. Really good ingredients. And this research shows that chemicals in conventional cleaning products can contribute to respiratory issues, skin irritation, hormone disruption. It just like, it's just a mess. Okay. And that's why I'm obsessed with Branch Basics and they were Mona approved.

It's really important to me that I'm not. Using any hazardous pollutants on my skin, and particularly for my little man, my 6-year-old. And so they have the concentrate, which is this amazing, versatile product that you can use for virtually everything from laundry to produce. And it was like a little bit skeptical at first, like how effective it would be and boom, you guys, it works and it is the one product that has allowed me to replace 10 toxic cleaning products in my house and branch basics. Unlike most cleaning brands, is proud to list like every single ingredient in there. Branch basics makes [00:17:00] it easy to just swap out our conventional cleaners. For really human safe alternatives.

And so if you're ready to clean up your home and your health, head to branch basics.com to shop their premium starter kit and use code Gabby for 15% off your first order. That's 15% off your new branch basics premium starter kit@branchbasics.com with promo code Gabby make the change today because you and your family deserve better.

Lemme ask you a question. How important is staying young to you? I'm 45 and I'm gonna tell you, I am very, very focused on trying to feel young, look young, and not trying to be a different age or look like I'm 20 or you know, but to just be the best I can be at the age that I am. And there's this one product that I have chosen that is helping me.

In the most transformational way, and that is fatty 15. It's C 15 from fatty 15, and C 15 is this really [00:18:00] incredible essential fatty acid. This product is based on over a hundred studies, and we now know that C 15 strengthens our cells and is the key to longevity enhancing nutrient. It's really a really secret ingredient here, and it's gonna help us slow biological aging at a cellular level.

But here's the kicker, when our cells don't have enough. C 15, they can become fragile and age faster. And when our cells age, our bodies age too. And as many as one in three people worldwide might have low C 15 levels and not even know it. And so this is a product that we really wanna look into and definitely trust fatty 15 has three times more cellular benefits than Omega-3 or fish oil. Fatty 15 is made from patented pure and oxidation resistant C 15 powder derived from plants and it's vegan friendly. It's free from flavors. It's free of flavors. Fillers, allergens, or even preservatives, and as the only ingredient is C 15 in this fatty 15 ingredient.

So let me just tell you people, this is the one thing I'm gonna recommend, and it [00:19:00] comes with this gorgeous glass bamboo jar, and you just refill the capsules every time you get a new quarterly pouch. And Fatty 15 is on a mission to replenish C 15 levels to help you live healthier and longer. You can get an additional 15% off their 90 day subscription starter kit by going to fatty fifteen.com/dear Gabby, and using code Dear Gabby, at checkout.

Enjoy this product. It's gonna really change you. I love, love sparkling drinks. I love little soda type drinks. I love them. Love them. I don't love sugar. Also, I take my gut health very seriously, which is why I'm obsessed with Simply Pop. It's a juicy new soda that combines the delicious real fruit flavors with simply six grams of prebiotic fiber to support your gut health.

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My all time favorite is the fruit punch. It just like brings me back to being a kid and I love it. It's just sweetened naturally with no added sugar. So each sip is just like bursting with real fruit juice and it's making. My summer plan's very exciting. I'm gonna just stock the fridge with this amazing product.
Go to coke url.com/simply pop. That's COKE url.com/s I-M-P-L-Y-P-O-P. To find out where you can try, simply pop.

Who's got the mic. And I love you. I love you, my friend. Up at the top. You're so beautiful. I love you. Who's got the mic? Hi. Hi. Hi. So I just wanna start with saying I'm here with my two sisters. I knew nothing about you before I came tonight and my sister brought me. You've been wonderful so far. I have a question.[00:21:00] 

So, when we did our guided meditation, it was beautiful. I felt the release, I felt everything that every person was saying. My sister looked at me and said, did you feel anything? What's wrong with like, why didn't I feel it? What's going on? Like, she missed something. Okay. How do I help her see this? Well, you could be spiritual running buddies.

I don't run unless something's chasing me.

Just a phrase, baby. Just a phrase. Running buddy. Running buddy. There's no, there's no running. You can do it together. You can check in with each other about your check-in process, so you could text each other once a day. How was your check-in? I did my manifesting challenge this year with a friend.

We would text each other every single day and I would text her pictures and I would text her my [00:22:00] vision board that we made, the digital vision boards, and I would text her my journal entries and we just went back and forth for 21 days.

And if she skipped a day, I would wait for her to catch up and then we would do it again. And. I saw her out in LA a few weeks ago, and I was like, oh my God, I feel like such a bond between us because we did this together. And I told her that I don't know if I would've finished it. It's my challenge. I was like, I don't know if I'd finish it if she hadn't been doing it with me.

So that's number one. Try just doing one minute a day and checking in with each other, being accountable to each other. Did you try the check-in once a day? Did you try to check in together? Okay. That's the best way you could help her is just to be accountability buddy. Okay. But the other thing is, is that you can't do somebody else's self-help.

It's called Self-help honey. You got it. Yes, absolutely. I get it. My guess. And I wonder if there's a part of you that thinks you need to help. A thirst? Just a little bit. Just a little bit? [00:23:00] Yeah, just a little bit. Welcome to the show, baby. Work with that part. Thank you. Thank you. I'm so, do you feel like I've gotten you the answer you need?

Yes. Okay. I'm so happy that you're here. Thank you so much. I hope to indoctrinate you more. I really, really appreciate it. You too. How about this, honey, I'm gonna give you the app, okay? You have nowhere to go now, and inside the app there is 11 self-help check-ins where you don't have to do it on your own.

I can guide you through them. So there's a check-in for anxiety. There's the check-in for body pain, there's the check-in for forgiveness. These 11 self-help check-ins, they're meditations like we did tonight, and I can guide you in them. And those of you in the app, make sure you go to the homepage of your screen, click on the self-help button, and you catch your check-ins.

Okay? You got that? Go girl. Welcome to my world. Okay, do we have anybody else in the middle area? Hello? Yes, right there. Hi. Hi Gabby. My name's Olivia. I'm here with my [00:24:00] best friend Julia. We are in the back row 'cause we're poor graduate students. So I had to walk forward. Oh, I think there's two seats right in the front.

Why don't you come down after this? I'm gonna hold those two seats for you. Thank you so much. Oh, okay. Good. Mm-hmm. So we drove here through the snow. We came from Dartmouth College Girl. We are, woo. We are graduating in about four months. So we're kind of at an inflection point, and I hope my question resonates tonight with other people that are maybe at a time in their life when they're experiencing great change.

But my question for you is, how do we manifest, like what's meant for us when we don't even know where we're meant to be? A couple months from now, a year from now, five years from now. Well, first of all, you're doing everything right because if at this age you're driving in from your campus to come to Boston to sit in a seminar about self-help, God, honey, you are 9,000 steps ahead.

[00:25:00] I am just so proud of you. Do you have a copy of the book? I have two copies. Okay. Good one for my mom. Okay, good. I just wanna make sure that you did. Okay, so here's what I wanna tell you. The first thing is, is that the secret to your successes in your life is to have fun. So from this point forward, I'm gonna change your life.

Right now I want you to measure your successes based on how much fun you're having.

So when you get that first next step or that next step, that next step, it may not always be exactly what you wanna be doing, but how can you find the joy in it? Can you bring a good attitude? Do, do you follow what I'm saying? And you're talking mainly about your career, next steps, or just life in general?

I think career and then like finding the right person too. Okay. You got time for that? Okay. I would tell my 30-year-old [00:26:00] self have more fun. When you have fun, my love, the man or woman, whatever it is, will be a magnet to you. Magnetic. It will be like, what? How'd that happened? Whether it's through an app or not, doesn't matter.

It's just gonna magnetize. When we're in joy, things fall out of the sky. We just are guided to what it is that we need. Am I right guys? Do you have your own spiritual proof of that? Anybody? Like, no. Gabby, screw you. Anyone? No naysayers. We have one in the room. Okay. Are you having fun right now? Woo. Yes. The energy and the vibration you're in right now is opening your mind, opening your heart, giving you hope, giving you some freedom inside.

More of that please. More of that please. Now. Okay. Are we gonna have shitty days? Yes. Driving up here, I was in the car. I was feeling some of the [00:27:00] heaviness of me having to stick up for a lot of people in my building. I'm having the heaviness of the dramas of that, having the heaviness of yesterday. We live in these moments where there's stuff that happens, but okay, then how do we move into the joy?

Right. So the second I got out of the car and it was over, I got into the building. I made friends with our beautiful staff. All the people that work in this building are epic. They're amazing. I started hanging out. I was with my husband. We were in the audience for having the best time, and I'm just back in the energy.

My sister-in-law is the event planner tonight. She's rocking the world. Where's Meredith? I. Meredith, you know, so we can lean in any moment. We can be in one vibration and then move into another one. So the vibration and the energy that you feel here tonight, bring that with you wherever you go, and even when you're not in it, that's okay.

Then just check in and come back. It's your comeback rate. Your comeback rate, and that's the secret to success. That's the secret to you know, you want your purpose, honey. Your purpose is gonna find you when you have fun. You got me? Got it? Thank you, girl. Ding ding, [00:28:00] who's got the mic? And you guys can pass the mic to anybody that puts their hand up.

Okay. Scream where? Hello? Hello. Hi. Where are you?

And this evening I came with my friend. So I saw you a year ago. Do you remember? Totally.
Totally. And so it was, it was only Amiga that we were the only Latinas in the room in Connecticut. Where were we? Here in, no, in Connecticut. For the foundation. For the, oh, the small intimate event. And we were speaking, I was speaking Spanglish then with you too. Oh. And you told me Amiga, welcome back. You told me.

Si.

Wait, say this again in [00:29:00] English. One step at a time.

Lingo. You. You. I say. I was gonna go.

When I was on the stage, my stockings ripped. Ah, si. So I went out with no stockings and shorts up to here. Si. Si. No. Si. Yes. That was my debut in Mexico City. Okay. So how, girl, welcome back. Welcome back. But not just ve not it's welcome, but welcome back.

Yes, my love. How can I help you? So, no, I, I just wanted to tell you that, um, so I, I wanted to [00:30:00] come tonight, but my husband says, I'll drop you off and you go inside. And I said, okay, no problem. I'm like, you know, I really wanna go with someone. So I've met my friend e three years ago on a cruise, and she just called me up.

She's like, I wanna come visit you. I was like, yeah, but I'm gonna be a Gabby Bernstein, and I have seat 1 0 7 and I don't know if you're gonna be able, oh. She's like, okay, let me go right now. She's doing. She's flying. I don't know where she was. And all of a sudden she goes in, she got C 1 0 8.
Huh? You tell me.

Amiga, it's her first time. That's incredible. I'm so glad that you're here together. We, I really want her to come because I knew I was like, manifest things for her because she's a wonderful woman. And tell you, she's gonna tell you. Okay. No, I'm just so happy to be here and I've learned so many things right now and it was great manifestation and then checking in.

I think it's something very valuable [00:31:00] and I'm, I was just taking notes of, you know, the value of knowing yourself and knowing that everything is within you. Yeah. So that's so special. I love what you said about being joyful and when you're joyful, you attract all the beautiful things you want in life and when you give to the others, so that's beautiful.

Thank you. I feel you taking it in deeply and I really want you to know I appreciate your open heart and your willingness and your manifesting power to sit next to your sister here, your girlfriend. It's beautiful. Welcome. So much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, that's when I would use.[00:32:00] 

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Okay. Who's got the mic? See? Hi. We got a mic in the front. Can we turn that mic on the front mic over here, guys. Is it on? Hi. Yeah, baby girl. Wait. I, oh my gosh. This is like so surreal. I bought like the front seat, so I can hope to ask you a question. I'm gonna try to do this without crying. It's okay if you cry.

I mean, we're here, we're, we're here for a reason. Last year I was diagnosed with a stage four lymphoma. I. [00:36:00] And I went through chemo for six to seven months at 29, but I'm 90 days in remission now, so Yes, yes, yes. You also look so well. You look so well. Thank you. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I've done a lot of work.

My question is, now I have everybody looking to me, what I'm gonna do with this, like second chance and I don't know, and I feel like so much pressure. To now have to be something else ex, except just be alive through that because not everybody gets to, so my question is, how do you just be and not feel so much pressure from everyone else to be this like story or have this like revelation of this thing that you know have to accomplish.

And I'm just trying to like. Not get sick again. But I also am like, I know that my voice has the power to change and I can be a vessel for that. So how do you [00:37:00] balance? Well, first I wanna change some of the language. I'm gonna try to not get sick again. Let's adjust that tonight. Okay. I'm gonna channel on my late mentor Louise Hay now, and I will let her speak through me and to guide you to language that feels more empowering for you, and that language could be such that I'm going to thrive in my health.

Language of I am going to focus on feeling good language of I'm going to allow myself to live with joy and ease language that feels resonant to you. I'm giving myself the freedom to be. That's your second act baby. Thank you. Different come my friend. My friend, she, she came with me. She's not nice. I was gonna come on this trip by myself and I bought this ticket just like you.

And then three days later she said, can I come? And I said, you better be lucky because I got the front row seat and then she got the next one. I can't with these angels in the room tonight. Oh my God, this is wild. Okay, let's see. Yes. Hi honey. Hi. Hi Gabby. [00:38:00] I play Bing. My question is. How do you navigate the ups and downs of self?

Because I can tap into her and I love her, but she can go so deep and it's scary, and to be in that place. Sometimes like I don't know how to do the up waves and the down waves, and how do you balance and how often can you live in self, I guess? Yeah. Yeah. And how do you do it consistent? What a great question.

Such a good question. Okay, so how often can you live in self and how can you be consistent? Well, you answered the question with the word consistency. There's so many answers to this question. So first the waves, the ups and downs. It's lots of parts of us, right? So when Dick Schwartz discovered this work of IFS therapy, he was a a systems therapist.

He was a family therapist. That's why it's called the Internal Family. It's the systems training used inside with the [00:39:00] family of parts. And he was working with women who were struggling with bulimia and eating disorders, and they would often talk about all these different ways that they wanted to harm themselves, or the part of them that wanted to binge, or the part of them that wanted to cut or the part of them and speaking about these parts.

And then they'd sometimes talk about this other part that was just kind of calm or in the room. They'd say, I feel like this other part comes over me and I feel more peaceful. And Dick would say, well, who's that part? And they'd say, well, I guess it's just myself. He discovered that the ups and the downs and the ins and the outs and all arounds are lots of little parts of ourselves, and some are more extreme than others, and some come in to protect others, and it's literally like a family of a lot of aggressive little people inside try to just protect. Protect and protect. And protect and protect.

And so of course, you're gonna feel that flow of the ups and the downs and the alls and the rounds, right? So what I'm gonna ask you to do is four steps, one minute a day minimum. And if you do that for 30 days, you're gonna start to [00:40:00] feel a steadiness. You're gonna start to feel a sense of ease, and you're gonna start to feel longing to do it more.

Then maybe you're journaling with it and you notice some self come through and you're like, oh my God, I've got some spiritual proof. Self is there now. And so that consistency, which was the word you chose, that consistency is what allows each step along the way. Un see, how am I studying Spanish?

Okay. I promised my friends in Mexico City, I'd be much better next year, my Spanish.
So give yourself 10 minutes a night. One minute a day. Whatever you can do, add it up. When you add it up, you'll have

thank you. So that confidence [00:41:00] is gonna come through you. That confidence that you have that self inside. Okay, beautiful. I love these friends. Love you. Who's got the mic? Hi. Hi baby. What's up? Hello. From the cheap seats. Hi. We're even further back than Dartmouth up here. So I, I'm really curious.

We talked a lot about emotion and how that can show up in different places in our life and potentially prevent us from acting itself. But I am really curious when we think about those moments when we're down bad or we've had really big setbacks that cause us to disconnect from the future. And I'm wondering if you can speak to how we can move through feeling that key thing that we want in the future when we are sort of stuck or maybe more associated with whatever the setback is.

So setbacks are a choice in [00:42:00] those moments to choose to see the obstacle as a detour in the right direction, as an opportunity or as a setback that you're stuck in. And I know that that's a lot to say when you have maybe a huge life thing that shows up for you, or like our friend in the front who went through a diagnosis, but particularly in the times when it's the biggest crisis.

Those are the times when we need faith. When we need hope, and we need love inside. We need the strength inside and the desire to see through the lens of possibility. And so an adjustment in those moments of setbacks is to say, okay, universe, what would you have me learn from this every day? Just humbly say, what would you have me learn from this?

What would you have me learn from this today? What would you have me learn from this today?

Because my love, we are here in this lifetime unlearning the fears of our past so that we can remember the love and the self and the light of who we are. [00:43:00] Yes. And so when we commit to being the happy learner, the happy student of this life that we have chosen.

Then we can show up for these difficult moments through the lens of hope and possibility rather than through the lens of despair that's required to get through it. You're here tonight, so I trust that there's hope and possibility inside of you. I believe that. I know that. I want you to lean into that.

Maybe it's just even saying simply, what would you have me learn today? What would you have me learn today? Got that. I love it. Thank you. Beautiful. Nice, nice, nice. We got somebody in the front, then I'm gonna pass it around. Okay. My name's Joanne and I signed up for your app the minute it came out, girlfriend, my kids have it and their girlfriends have it.

I bought it for them and when they're having a bad day, I text them. Your meditations and [00:44:00] your Oh, you're that friend. Oh, yes. I, I'm that mom. Yes, yes, yes. And I'm a breast cancer survivor since I was 31. I'm 50. Wow. Oh, did you tell her that? Oh, it's beautiful. I'm gonna talk to her. So, oh, beautiful, beautiful.

How, look at that, that synchronicity here tonight. And I bought my ticket like four hours ago. And girl. In the front. In the front. So my question is. I'm an Enneagram. Eight. Yeah. Oh, oh y Yeah. Digs one. No one. Okay. Enneagram eight. If you know what the Enneagram is, my husband's a, I'm an eight. My husband's a three, which I think my husband's a three.

Yeah. So what would you say to me, an Enneagram eight, who's thinking of her second act? Im 55 now. I run a construction company. That's what I've done my whole life. Perfect to be an eight. Yes. Yes. But I feel like I have a different calling and my feel is that I wanna get into the arena of healing. Yeah.

And helping others find their way to healing. And I have, what would you say to me who has some fear kind of standing in her way and kind of blocking [00:45:00] self-sabotaging me, and stepping. Stepping into that loud and proud. Okay. So. Anyone else in the room tonight feel like they wanna do something in the healing space?

They wanna be offering healing of some kind to the world. Yes. Well, yeah. Great. Well, y'all gotta raise your hands because we need you now. The alarm bells are ringing. You've shown up for the assignment and I'm offering you the job. Thank you. Thank you. Whether you realize it or not, entering this room tonight, you signed a sacred contract with the universe that you are gonna go big, that you are going to heal, and that you are gonna be of service in some way, period.

You wanna know your purpose. I just told you what it is, and I mean that. I mean that it's those of us who enter into rooms like this that are the miracle workers and not, because not every [00:46:00] single person out there can't be because everybody has it in them. It's those of us who wake up to the spark within us that says, go heal that stuff so that you can heal others.

Yeah, okay. And maybe you have a call like our sister here in the front where you wanna be in that as your career. Or maybe you just have a call that you wanna show up with a better attitude at your current job. Or maybe you have a call that you wanna heal so you can have a better marriage, or you have a call that you wanna heal so you can bring a better vibration to your home.

However you show up with an energy of positivity and joy and grace, and ease, that's how you heal. That's how you heal. So that's the answer my love. Show up as you already are with energy, joy, grace, and love. You don't actually have to figure out how to do it. You're already doing it. Keep doing what you're doing and you'll be shown how to do more.

Okay, and we need you. Hmm. I got five minutes on the clock [00:47:00] here. I'm moving this over. Who's got the mic? Me. Okay. I have two quick questions and a comment. First of all, everybody here is already a step ahead of the rest by just being here and trying to be self-help. Second of all, I've never heard of you before.

No offense. My cousin who is obsessed with you, Jessica brought me here. Okay. My question is, and I know you already mentioned God once before. I believe in God, and it doesn't matter if you do or you don't. My question to you is how does it impact you personally as to like that internal drive on to do better and be better for yourself?

Like, how much of that is yourself and how much do you think of it is led by God? Yes. Sorry, that's just for me that it's not for anybody else. Just I am so ready to answer that question for you. Okay. So I have been a spiritual teacher for 20 years. Yeah. Had a spiritual student. For most of my life, I have been here to teach non-denominational spiritual teachings, so I don't wanna [00:48:00] interrupt anyone's flow with their own religion, their own beliefs.

You enter where you are. My work is to crack people open to a spiritual relationship of their own understanding. Perfect. Okay. So you could call it God. Yeah, you could call it universe, you could call it self, you could call it grandma. I don't care what you call it. No, that's all I care, honey, is that you call upon it.

Right? And if you ask me how much is God living inside of me, how much is God living and guiding my life? Every step of my life is God guided. Okay. No, no, it's perfect. That's why I was asking for this because then my next question is, that's a great question. Thank you. Thank you very much. So I guess my question is to you, have you ever thought about talking about children and teaching them the value of self?

So have I ever thought about, thank you. Teaching children how to connect to self? Well, the first answer [00:49:00] is. Tonight I'm teaching 1300 children, many actually millions of children, lots of little children in this room, how to connect self. Okay, so that's the first answer. Absolutely. I agree. And the second answer is hell yes, honey.

I have a student at home, his name is Oliver. He's six years old and he's living in my house right now and he is my. My primary student, right? Who, who every day is a new chance to say, you know, we say when the boys are bullying you, we go, Namaste and walk away. Yeah. Okay? Mm-hmm. So the answer is yes, but the biggest work is healing the children in this room because the children in this room are having the opportunity to be that self energy for the children in their lives, right?

So if I can give you guys the experience of knowing how to heal your inner children, then I am. Definitely doing my part to contribute to the healing of the next generation. Absolutely. Thank you so much. Thank you. I got one time for one more. Maybe two, but [00:50:00] probably one. Give it to you. Hi, Gabby. Oh girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl.

She, we got a firecracker, okay? Oh yes you do. My whole section knows. Hi Gabby, I'm Christina. Hi, Christina. Hi. So my heart is just beaming to be here with gratitude with you tonight. You have helped me through some of my darkest times and put my life back together, but I just wanna share a quick story with you.

So. A couple weeks ago, a month ago, whatever. I was listening to one of your podcasts in the morning and you said, if you're on the right track, if you're wondering, ask the Universe for a specific sign, and you and Josh were talking about it, your sign was a buffalo. Instinctively the number 11. 11 came to me, but I'm like, I can't use that.

I see that all the time. That's not right. Let me do this. Let me do that. 11. 11 kept coming back to me. So flash forward to later on in the evening, it's dark. I'm walking my dog listening to your podcast, catching up, and I'm like, there's no way. I am seeing 1111 now, [00:51:00] like I'm 45, I wake up at 5:11 PM is like halfway through the night for me.

So literally a minute later I hear your music. You. The 1111 podcast came on where you and Josh talked about the importance of 1111. I said, that's it. I ran home. I booked my ticket. Randomly selected 'cause I'm here with myself in C one 11.

Boom, period and destroy, boom, baby boom. You can't make it up. There is no better way to end this magical night with you guys than our one 11. 1111 in C one 11. She's divinely guided. You are all divinely guided. You have within you and around you a power of. Self that can guide you, protect you, watch over you.

You have an inner parent, you have an inner healer. Don't leave while the magic is happening. People, there is an energy inside of [00:52:00] all of you that is ever present, and all I ask is that you give yourself one minute a day, four steps, and change your life. I love you Boston.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you're truly committed to miracles. I'm really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode, make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me, so I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media at Gabby Bernstein.

And if you wanna get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby, live@deargabby.com. See you next week.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this [00:53:00] episode. Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace.

I'm not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.