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I was driving in the country last weekend—my favorite place to think (or ruminate, depending on the day!)—and found my mind wandering to an interaction with a friend that I had some regrets about.

I’d spoken out of turn and too forcefully, and as I drove through the most beautiful scenery, I silently berated myself. “Gabby, you’re an a-hole … you’re mean … you’re going to lose all of your girlfriends …” The inner scolding went on and on. It was like I was reprimanding a younger part of me (an inner child) who’d done something bad. 

Then something powerful hit me. I thought of my sweet son, Ollie, and how I would never talk to him the way I was talking to myself. I’d be curious and ask him how he could do it differently next time. I’d be compassionate and calm as he processed his experience.

My inner child deserved my unconditional love, too! In that moment, I remembered how to connect with my inner child—and I want to teach you how to connect with yours, too.

Dear Gabby podcast: How to Connect with Your Inner Child

all of us have an inner child

This is the part of us that developed when we didn’t get what we needed when we were kids. Internal Family Systems (IFS) teaches us that we don’t have just one inner child, but many inner children. And these parts of us influence how we act in the world. (Mine prompted me to get a little too fiery with my friend!) 

Learning how to talk to our inner child with compassion and connection is a practice. And in this episode of the Dear Gabby podcast, I share the exact steps you can take to start doing it more regularly.

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in this episode, you’ll learn:
  • What exactly an inner child is, and why yours developed over the years to protect you
  • How to get curious about how your inner child responds when you get triggered
  • The simplest way you can bring more loving, resourced, compassionate energy to your inner child
  • Why reparenting yourself can help you get in better alignment with the Universe and become a Super Attractor

Regardless of your age, your inner child WILL get super-activated. In those moments (and their aftermath), you’ll feel like you’re dealing with a 10-year-old, or a 5-year-old, or even an infant. But if you’re going to meet those younger, child parts within you with love and grace, you must do so from a place of peaceful presence. That’s where your power lies. 

My power lies in my peaceful presence.

how to connect with your inner child right now

To start, I want you to place your hand on your heart, breathe into your belly, and exhale completely. Ground yourself in the calm, connected, resourced presence within. This week, connect to that presence whenever you feel triggered or taken over by a younger, more reactive part of you. Your presence has the power to soothe you.

Over the years, I’ve learned 3 other techniques that help me connect with my inner child.

technique 1

visualize yourself as a child and connect with your inner child

You might imagine yourself playing, exploring or doing something you loved to do as a kid. Simply imagine having fun with your younger self. Then, get curious about what they have to say, how they feel, what they want you to know.

technique 2

find ways to infuse more playfulness into your day

Engaging in fun activities that feel like play is a great way to connect with your inner child. Because after all, kids love to play! It’ll be easier for you to learn how to connect with your inner child if you’re in a more child-like headspace. So break out that grown-up coloring book and a box of crayons; schedule a tennis lesson; take a walk to your local playground and swing on the swing set for a few minutes. It’s amazing how playing will help you feel closer to the little ones in you!

technique 3

write a letter to your inner child

After your morning meditation, write a note in your journal addressed to your inner child. Ask that little one how they’re feeling, what they need, what they’re afraid of. You might even ask what’s making them mad, or the ways the grown-ups in their life aren’t showing up for them. Then write another letter letting your inner child know that you are going to show up for them now, in all the ways they need you to. THIS, my friends, is the beautiful work of reparenting ourselves that each of us gets to do.

You have the power within to reparent your inner child and offer them the support they never received. And the best way to start is to show yourself compassion! Offer yourself kind words, nurture yourself and practice all the self-care you need as you dive into this big, important work of connecting with your inner child.

It’s only when we start to recognize all the parts within us that we can know the truth of who we really are.

gabby

It’s not until we start caring for our inner children with deep, unconditional love that we can grow into the connected, compassionate souls we’re meant to be.

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disclaimer

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

dear gabby #122 Feb 27, 2023 emotional wellbeing 34 min

how to connect with your inner child

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The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I’m not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I’m your host Gabby Bernstein, and if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you’re ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let’s get started.

Welcome back to Dear Gabby, my friends. Welcome back. I have a really heart-centered topic for you today. It’s all about how to connect to your inner child. We all have a lot of different parts of who we are. We have parts of us that feel very scared alone. We have parts of us that may feel confident and connected.

We have parts of us that may feel rageful. Maybe you’ve said out loud to yourself, when I don’t feel like I’m being understood, I have this part of me that gets outraged. Or maybe you’ve said, whenever I am in a relationship, I have a part of me that feels terrified.

The fact that you refer to it as a part of you is actually quite accurate. We have these parts of ourselves that are sometimes frozen in time. They’re child parts, they’re exiled parts. They’re parts of us that have been growing up with us and have developed how we act in the world.

And so, while you may think that you are 40 now, you may be spending a lot of your day in your five-year-old part. And we have these inner children according to internal family systems therapy, which is what I’m speaking of right now. We have these inner children, these different child parts, these young parts that feel super activated and never got the support that they needed.

And then we have these other parts of us that protect against the feeling of not getting what we needed. And so there’s exiled child parts and then there’s protectors, and the protectors are working their ass off to try to keep us from ever having to face into the exiled feelings of being unlovable, being inadequate, not feeling safe, not feeling cared for.

And so, what can we do? We can bring more self energy, which is the all-knowing, loving, undamaged, resourced, compassionate, calm, connected, clear part of who we are, the truth of who we are. We can cultivate a great awareness of that self energy and let that self energy support the younger child parts within us.

So the first step right now is to just take a look at some of the ways that you get activated. So maybe you get activated and triggered when you feel out of control, or maybe you feel activated and triggered when you’re asked to speak publicly.

What are those ways? And just become a little curious about what comes up when you get activated. Do you recoil? Do you fight back? Do you become rageful? And start to notice those reactions as actually parts of who you are. And then maybe choose one. Choose one of those parts. Maybe it’s the rage, maybe it’s the fear, maybe it’s the reactivity.

And get a little curious about it. Notice where it lives in your body. Notice what you know about it. Become curious. And upon getting a little bit more information about that part of you, you might wanna ask, how old are you? And often what you’re going to hear is five 10, baby. These are young parts of who we are, and the intention for this episode is to help these young parts feel more safe because we all have, within us…self. We all have that undamaged resourced internal parent that, at any moment, can show up for these little parts.

So this show’s all about giving grace and giving love and compassion and connection. Calm creativity, curiosity, courage, confidence to these younger parts that need that respect and need that care. Let’s see what comes through.

GABBY: Let’s bring in our first guest, Sam.

BERTHA: Hi Gabby. Hope you’re doing well. This is my second time in the show, so I’m so grateful for that. I have been always suffering about what I used to be when I was a kid because I’m the oldest one. I have just two little brothers.

But my problem is that I haven’t always, thinking that I need to do too much to be accepted. I have to, work longer hours to confirm that I’m doing the right thing, whatever everyone else else is expecting from me. But when I think about it, I, I guess it’s because my inner child was so hard because my parents were more focused on my little brothers because they said that they had a lot of troubles to get solved.

That I was a kind of nice girl and I have the best grades and everything. So I think that that has been affecting me all the time because I cannot enjoy myself doing whatever I do, because instead of, you know, giving myself that opportunity to feel that I’m doing right, that I don’t have to be someone else just to be accepted.

GABBY: How does that belief system show up in your life right now?

BERTHA: Right now, I think that like trying to do better, but still I’m in a really good company. Everybody trusts me, but I still think that I’m not enough. I’m not good enough. And the problem is that I think that I’m translating this thing to my child.

Because sometimes I think that he’s a really good person and he believes on himself, but sometimes the way that he sees me, makes me feel that he doesn’t trust himself. You know what I’m saying? I’m just transferring all my, low self-esteem.

GABBY: Just correct me if I’m wrong, but you feel worthy when you’re helping other people and overachieving. Is that correct?

BERTHA: Yes. That’s correct.

GABBY: Okay, so if you saw your child in that way, trying to overachieve and prove himself to others, what might you say to him?

BERTHA: I would definitely say that he doesn’t need to do that because he’s worthy for what he is, and he’s so smart and he’s so good at what he does.

He loves soccer, and I think that he’s very good, but sometimes I think that he feels scared that someone else is looking and he will fail.Sometimes, actually, sometimes he doesn’t want me to be in his soccer games because he feels nervous whenever I am there.

GABBY: Okay.

BERTHA: And I think that is so bad. It’s just because I have been the same way and I I want to…

GABBY: So could you empathize with him? Could you say, yeah, I understand. I’ve been there. I have those feelings too.

BERTHA: Yes. Yes.

GABBY: Excellent. Excellent. And when you think about saying that to him, how does that feel in your body?

BERTHA: It’s weird because sometimes I feel relief, but sometimes I feel nervous because I think half of the time I want to believe that to myself as well.

GABBY: Sure, sure. So my advice here is to start to speak to yourself the way you would speak to your child.

So if it’s through journaling, maybe wake up in the morning, notice whatever you notice in your body. Notice what you’re feeling. How old is that part of me that I’m noticing? What’s the age, what’s the gender?

BERTHA: Mm-hmm.

GABBY: And then what do you need right now? Asking that part, what do you need right now?

And they’ll often say, I need acknowledgement, I need love, I need connection. And then, once you’ve made that connection to that younger part of you, treat it the way you would treat your child. Speak to that part of you, the way you would speak to your child.

BERTHA: Yeah. And I think that this is gonna be really great because I think that I need to forgive myself for whatever I have been feeling at this time, because sometimes I think that I have to be apart from my parents because they have hurt me so much.

But I just think that I’m responsible that it was my fault that I didn’t accomplish whatever they were expecting from me. And until they get that word saying, oh, you are good at what you are doing, just trust yourself. But sometimes I don’t think that they mean it. So I don’t want to this stamped on my child.

GABBY: Well, to not carry this onto your child is to start to treat yourself and your child parts the way that you would treat your child. Because the more you practice actually speaking to your younger parts of who you are in that way, holding those parts of you with acceptance and compassion and connection and creativity and calmness, the easier it will be to just do that with your child.

And so, you have this beautiful opportunity to witness how, of course I would never judge my son. I would never put him down. I would never make him put pressure on him. That energy that you bring to him, I need you to start bringing to yourself. And the more that you do that, the more second nature it becomes, and the more you start to become the parent to your inner children as well as your child.

BERTHA: Okay.

GABBY: You know, we have all this emphasis on how to parent and how to, what about reparenting ourselves? Do you have a copy of my book Happy Days?

BERTHA: Not yet. I haven’t been able to get it in Mexico.

GABBY: We’ll get it to you. And I want you to read the book to really heal those historical wounds with the family. And there’s a whole chapter on reparenting yourself and practice the principles in that chapter cuz they’re not only gonna benefit you, they’re gonna benefit your son too.

BERTHA: Definitely. Thank you so much. It’s always a pleasure talking to you.

GABBY: So nice to see you again. So proud of you. Thank you.

[AD BREAK]

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All you have to do is go to perfectsnacks.com/gabby to get a free Perfect Bar today. That’s perfectsnacks.com/gabby to get a free Perfect Bar today. Happy snacking!

Dear Gabby is sponsored by Better Help.

Recently, I was reflecting on how much I’ve learned about myself in the last few years in particular, but really decades of therapy, and all the work that I’ve done. I think about the times in my life where I really was willing to step into growth, even when it was so so scary. The courage that I’ve had to step into that session every single week for over two decades is my greatest accomplishment.

It has allowed me to be the woman that I am today. It has allowed me to be a steady energy source in my home, in my business and in my life. It has allowed me to recover from trauma and continue to do the healing necessary to get to a sense of safety in my body and in my life.

Therapy has given me everything. Without it, I really don’t know where I’d be right now. And that’s why I’m really proud to have Better Help as a sponsor on the show because Better Help connects you with a licensed therapist who can take you on that journey of self-discovery from wherever you are.

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[END AD BREAK]

SAMITA: Hi Gabby. This is my second time on the show.

GABBY: Oh, welcome back, Samita. How are you?

SAMITA: I’m very good. I think in my case, in my childhood, I had a lot of, strict upbringing. Like I was always watched and there was a lot of pressure, a lot of expectations. And I am a doctor today, so I can thank my parents for that.

But I have some inner child blocks which are present. Like I am not very expressive. There is a lot of lack mentality that I need to achieve something and prove myself to get something.

So this is affecting my romantic relationships, my otherwise relationships, also professional relationships.

GABBY: How would you name that part of you, the part that’s trying to get approval? What would you call that part of you?

SAMITA: It’s just a part of me where I want to prove myself.

GABBY: Prove yourself. Okay. The part of you that wants to prove yourself, would you be open to connecting to that part and getting a little curious with me right now about it?

SAMITA: Very much.

GABBY: Okay. Let’s talk to that part. Okay. So just close your eyes and just take a deep breath and focus your attention inward and let’s find where in your body you might notice the feelings or sensations hat could come up when you think about this part of you that needs to prove herself. What do you notice?

SAMITA: It’s in my gut.

GABBY: Your gut? Okay.

SAMITA: In my tummy.

GABBY: Are there any colors or shapes?

SAMITA: No. It’s just a, it’s just like a not feeling.

GABBY: Is there an age or a gender attached to it?

SAMITA: No gender, but I can say age of three or four years. It is me. It is me. So it is a female.

GABBY: Three or four years old. This part. And is there anything that you can see happening in this moment when you check in with that part?

SAMITA: Yeah. It’s like people telling me and expecting things out of me. Like, I need to score this much or I need to become certain person. A lot of expectations around it.

GABBY: So it’s three years old. There’s a lot of expectations around it. How does the part feel in this moment when you think like that? What are the feelings that come up? Anything that you notice?

SAMITA: It’s just, I feel sorry for her and I feel. I need to help her out, but I don’t know how to reach there now.

GABBY: Okay, let’s open up to the possibility of reaching her. You called it a her, so I’m gonna refer to the her. Is that okay?

SAMITA: Okay. Yes.

GABBY: Okay, cool. Okay. And so how is she with you right now? Can you sense any proximity to her in this moment?

SAMITA: Yeah, she is with me. Yes.

GABBY: Where is she?

SAMITA: Just very close to me. I cannot actually, visualize her, but yeah.

GABBY: You feel her close. Okay. Does she know that you’re here?

SAMITA: Yeah, she does.

GABBY: She does. How does she feel towards you?

SAMITA: She feels hopeful.

GABBY: Hopeful. Excellent. And how do you feel towards her?

SAMITA: I feel, I feel protective. But I don’t know how to reach and I don’t know how to help her now.

GABBY: Okay, so the part that’s protective and that’s confused about how to help, let’s ask that part to step aside cuz that’s another part that’s just coming in.

Okay. And let’s get back to, to the self energy if we can. How do you feel towards her when we ask that protective part to step aside?

SAMITA: I feel that she needs to be safe. I want to make her feel safe. I want her to know that she will do fine in her life ahead.

GABBY: Okay, so right here, right now, does she know that you’re saying that?

SAMITA: She does. Now, she does.

GABBY: Okay. And what does she need from you?

SAMITA: She just needs for me to tell her that you can relax and everything will fall in place eventually.

GABBY: What does relaxation look like for you?

SAMITA: Relaxation looks like not being in a lot of pressure while you work. Is there a visual?

I remember I used to be so stressed while doing the work, and so it used to really drain me out, which I could just do playfully and with a relaxed state of mind.

GABBY: Okay. Can you visualize yourself working playfully in a relaxed state of mind?

SAMITA: Yeah. Yes, I do.

GABBY: Is she with you?

SAMITA: Yeah, she is with me.

GABBY: And you enjoy your work?

SAMITA: I do.Very much.

GABBY: Okay. So I want you to visualize yourself every morning, relaxed, joyful, playful in your work because imagine you’re getting up going to work, right?

And I want you to see that image and I want you to invite her to come with you and let her know that she’s safe to be playful and she’s safe to have fun. Because two things can coexist, right? Your parents’ impact has made you a great doctor and it’s also made you not have enough fun, right? Not feel good enough at times.

So let’s lean in and celebrate the part that’s a great doctor and let’s just give it what it really needs, which is more joy. And so, I want you to visualize every single morning, see yourself working, playing, having fun. See her with you by your side, welcome her to come to work with you and say, I promise we’re gonna have some more fun.

Because lemme tell you something, she’s at work with you all the time. But oftentimes she’s there saying, we gotta work harder. We have to be better. We have to show everybody that we’re better. But what if you guys together could say, no, all we have to do is just have more fun. We’re doing everything right.

Let’s have more fun. How does that feel to you?

SAMITA: It relieves me of pressure even today.

GABBY: Beautiful. Can you make that commitment to her that you’re gonna have more fun with her at work?

SAMITA: Yeah, I do. I do.

GABBY: Okay, beautiful. So that’s your work. That’s your homework. Just, just have.

SAMITA: Thank you. Thank you so much.

GABBY: You’re welcome, sweetheart. You’re welcome. Beautiful. Thank you.

[AD BREAK]

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And because you’re a listener of the show, I’m hooking you up with a discount. Visit Cymbiotika.com/gabby for 15% off site-wide or create your custom bundle and get up to 45% off. Code applies on top of custom bundle discount. That’s Cymbiotika.com/gabby.

[END AD BREAK]

GABBY: Bring it in. Sam.

MAJA: Hi, I might start crying. I’m really sorry.

GABBY: That’s okay, sweetie.

MAJA: I genuinely wanted to ask you this question for like years, because I’ve been following you for years and I genuinely feel this way for a long time. I did manifestation challenge last year and it was a year where kind of a lot didn’t work out despite working super hard.

So I’m an actor and even though I’m British, because I wasn’t born here, I got all the racism and I have to play immigrant stereotypes. It’s a longer story and I genuinely feel like universe is against me. I genuinely feel like if I decide to let go of trust, it’s gonna be more suffering and more being very close and failing to the point of now feeling like I just can’t keep going on.

GABBY: I’m gonna jump in.

MAJA: I’m really sorry.

GABBY: Please don’t apologize. I wanna actually thank you for your bravery and trusting that you came in for a reason here today. So Maja, I wanna acknowledge first that I’m noticing this desire to have the universe be in sync with what you want in order to feel safe, to feel good, to feel like things are working out, and we all live that way.

Many of us will walk around thinking, well, if things aren’t working out the way that I want them to, then we’re gonna get stuck in this way of feeling like, well, I’m a failure, I’m not good enough. This isn’t working. Dot, dot, dot.

So the first thing I want to adjust here is to give you full body permission to accept that you can feel good no matter what, that you can choose to be proud of yourself, even if the outside world isn’t reflecting back to you what you think you need. What do you think when I say that to you?

MAJA: I’m scared because I honestly feel like it, it, if I feel good, it means I’m gonna be punished in a second and I’m gonna suffer.

GABBY: And that’s an old story, I imagine It’s quite young, right?

MAJA: My mom, my mom always, blamed us for feeling happy because she was unhappy. And yeah, that is just my mom telling me like, we would literally be nearly punished for smiling. She’s permanently depressed, abusive, kind of, you know, mom that loves you in the most unhealthy way. But, that is my mom. Yeah.

GABBY: Okay. Is she still alive?

MAJA: She is. She thought she would die. I flew there, you know, obviously she didn’t die. She just wanted attention and I know she’s suffering and I feel really sorry for her. And at the same time, I’m angry at her because I never had a mom. I just had someone who’s just dying for years. And you have to cheer them up.

GABBY: Okay. first and foremost, where do you notice that younger part of you that was told she couldn’t smile and told she couldn’t be happy? Where do you feel that in your body?

MAJA: Everywhere. In my heart most of the time. Like, I want to hide because I’m not safe. I don’t trust anything in anyone…

GABBY: Just take a moment, sweetheart. I’m gonna help you. Just take a deep breath, close your eyes, and I want you to just notice in your body where you feel that feeling and what it might look like. Is there a color or a shape that goes along with.

MAJA: Black.

GABBY: Black is there anything else that you notice about it? Anything that comes to mind?

MAJA: It’s like you, some something’s trying to hit you, you know, and just punish you and it’s black and I just want to run away from it.

GABBY: Okay. Do you know how old it is?

MAJA: Varied.

GABBY: It varies?

MAJA: Yeah. Because of this, you know, I end up in relationships where had an abusive ex who, you know how, but I think it’s sort of all connected to it, to just…

GABBY: When did it, when did you first, when did this part of you first show up in your life?

MAJA: Oh, God. It’s, it’s been there for ages, like, um…

GABBY: So it’s young.

MAJA: Yeah.

GABBY: Okay. And what do you know about it?

MAJA: I mean, it’s like two parts of me, because there’s a part of me that believes in good things and happy. And then there’s another part that just, it’s just, it’s like they’re constantly fighting each other.

GABBY: Can we talk a little bit just for a moment to the part of you that’s doesn’t feel like it’s okay to be happy?

MAJA: Yeah.

GABBY: Okay. Can you just place your hand on your heart and your hand on your belly and just take a deep breath and let’s just connect to that part right now. Is it a female part? Does it have a gender?

MAJA: Uh, I think, yeah, cuz it’s part of me, I guess it’s female.

GABBY: How do you feel towards this part of you?

MAJA: I feel sorry for her.

GABBY: Yeah. Yeah.

MAJA: I feel so sorry.

GABBY: Yeah. do you wanna give her a hug?

MAJA: I’m so sorry, Gabby.

GABBY: Please don’t apologize to me. What you’re doing is beautiful. Can you see this younger part of you?

MAJA: Yeah. She had so much going on and she’s always been just punished for everything. What does she need?

MAJA: Love. I don’t think she needs have any faith that she can get love. That’s the problem.

GABBY: Does she know that you’re here with her? Does she know that you’re here?

MAJA: Yeah.

GABBY: Does she know I’m here?

MAJA: Yeah. She’s a bit intimidated.

GABBY: She’s intimidated. Well, I love her. I love her. I love her. I want her to know I love her. I want her to know I’m very familiar with her. I’m grateful that she’s letting me be curious about what’s going on with her and I have a lot of compassion towards her. Does she feel that?

MAJA: Yeah. She just doesn’t feel she even deserves that. Like people have all the compassion and she just wants to hide and disappear.

GABBY: But she knows that you’re here, right?

MAJA: Yeah.

GABBY: Now, what does she need from you?

MAJA: Love, I think.

GABBY: Love. Okay. And what does that love look like to you? Visually? Or feel, what does it feel like if you could give her a little love?

MAJA: Cup of tea.

GABBY: A cup of tea?

MAJA: That’s very British.

GABBY: Beautiful. Beautiful. Okay. So is there a place where you like to have your cup of tea?

MAJA: The morning when I try to do meditation. And I have one meditation of yours that I try to listen to.

GABBY: And where are you sitting? Is it a comfortable place that you like to sit in?

MAJA: Yeah, in front of the window and light and yeah, I try to kind of hope for the best there.

GABBY: Can you close your eyes and just see yourself with the cup of tea and my voice in the background and the light coming in. And if you feel comfortable, would you be okay inviting her to join you?

MAJA: Yeah.

GABBY: Let me know when she’s with you.

MAJA: Now.

GABBY: She’s with you. Okay. And is there anything you wanna do for her while she’s with you here?

MAJA: Hug her.

GABBY: Hug her? Okay. Give her a hug. Anything you wanna say to her?

MAJA: She’s okay. And that she’s safe.

GABBY: Yeah. How does she feel right now with you?

MAJA: A bit better.

GABBY: Little bit better? Okay. Good. You just wanna say anything else or give her any more connection?

MAJA: I wanna tell her that it’s okay. And that she deserves love, even though she never really got it.

GABBY: Yeah. Do you wanna let her know that you can give that to her?

MAJA: I don’t know if I can.

GABBY: You’re doing it right now. You’re doing it right now, Maja. Just let her know that there’s more of this if you’re open to that. Maybe let her know that you’ll invite her to meditate with you every day. You comfortable making that commitment to her?

MAJA: Yeah.

GABBY: We’ll, we’ll tell her right now that she can stay with you right now and just sit with you as you listen to the rest of the show, and that you’ll just put your hand on your heart so you can keep her close and let her know that you’re gonna connect with her every morning in your meditation and close your eyes and just check in with her and welcome her into that space.

How does that feel? How does she feel about that?

MAJA: She feels good.

GABBY: How do you feel in your body right now?

MAJA: Bit calmer.

GABBY: Yeah. Yeah. This is the work, Maja. This is the only work—is bringing your resourced adult, compassionate, calm Self with a capital S to the little girl because you, my love, have the power to soothe her.

You have the power to help her feel safe. You just did it. So never question it. Never question that you have a very powerful presence of Self in you that can give her what she never got. Do you feel that?

MAJA: Yeah.

GABBY: Great.

MAJA: I’m so sorry.

GABBY: Don’t say you’re sorry. Be really proud of yourself right now for what you just did. It’s profound. Thank you for being a strong presence for her. So sit with her and have a cup of tea and enjoy the rest of the show. Beautiful work, Maja. Thank you, sweetheart. Sending you so much love, and I’m so grateful. I wanna thank that young part of you for being so brave and for having the courage to come forward and to let you in.

She’s really excited to be with you, I bet.

MAJA: Yeah.

GABBY: Excellent work, Maja. Thank you.

MAJA: Thank you so much, Gabby.

GABBY: So today’s episode is really offering us another gentle reminder to care for the children within. We walk around just lugging our bodies around thinking we are this adult who has to show up in these ways, but we’re all day long being triggered into child parts.

And so, we have to care for those parts of ourselves with respect, with love, compassion, become curious, compassionate. There’s a whole episode on the eight C qualities of self inside the Dear Gabby episodes.

Go listen to that eight C qualities of self and listen to that episode because it will help you really recognize the internal parent that you have within, that you can bring to all of these young parts of who you are. And the more that you practice this connection from self to these young parts, the easier it’ll be for you to even parent your children and to be conscious of the young parts in your loved ones, and to be a more connected, compassionate soul.

You have the power to connect to your child parts. You have the power to let them know that they’re safe with you. Let’s close the show by just sending a lot of love to that child part of you. Put your hand on your heart and your hand on your belly and just take a deep breath in and on the exhale, let it go. And just say, I’m here for you. I’m here for you. I’m here for you.

Thank you for joining me on Dear Gabby.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you’re truly committed to miracles. I’m really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode. Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me, so I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media at @GabbyBernstein.

And if you wanna get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby’d live at deargabby.com. See you next week.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.