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In this episode, I’m answering some of the most frequently asked questions about handling our negative thoughts and emotions, including:

  • Is it fear or intuition?
  • How do I overcome thoughts like “I’m not good enough”?
  • How do I check-in and befriend my feelings?

Filmed live in New York, this episode even features a surprise appearance from my mom!

Inside each of us is Self energy. When we connect with Self, we can discover inner calm, comfort, and clarity. This connection allows us to become our own inner healers.

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This episode introduces powerful concepts from my new book, Self Help: This Is Your Chance to Change Your Life

This isn’t just another self-help book—it’s a revolutionary guide to unlocking SELF energy— your own inner healer. This is the energetic state where old patterns heal, shame and fear dissipate, and you become a MAGNET for your greatest desires.

Ready to transform your life? Click here to order your copy today!

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disclaimer

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

dear gabby #246 Feb 10, 2025 manifesting

how to stop your thoughts from blocking your dreams

[00:00:00] The following podcast is a dear media production.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I'm your host, Gabby Bernstein. And if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you're ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let's get started.

Welcome back, my friends. Welcome back to Dear Gabby. Let me ask you this. Do you have a negative thought on loop that's Taking over your life, do you? If you're anything like me, the answer is hell yes, you do. This is something that's not uncommon for most of us. We have 60, 000 thoughts a day and the majority of them are the same negative thought on loop, loop, loop, loop, loop.

So in today's episode, I'm going to teach you how to stop your thoughts from blocking your dreams. Because our beliefs are really just thoughts that we keep thinking. This episode is a follow up from [00:01:00] last week. It's been filmed in New York City during my book tour event. And the audience is just epic.

And the questions were unbelievable. And the majority of the questions that came through were about handling our negative thoughts and emotions. And questions like, what's the difference between my fear and my intuition? And how do I overcome thoughts like I'm not good enough? And how do I check in and befriend my feelings?

And these answers that I give to these very frequently asked questions reveal how to stop your thoughts from blocking your dreams. So if you're sitting around, you're like, damn, I can't move through this thought. This thought is been with me for 50 years, or it's been with me for 20 years or however long it's been around.

I get it. I understand it. I wrote a whole book for you about it. It's called self help. This is your chance to change your life. And the access to the relief that we need from these thoughts lies in the answers in these. questions that are going to be revealed on today's show. So you're gonna definitely want to stick around to the end because each question builds upon the next and I [00:02:00] know that they're the exact answers you need.

So make sure to stick around to the end of this episode. And as I travel the world and I witness all these beautiful readers throughout the self help journey, here's a gorgeous reader review that just came in from my book, Self Help, my New York Times bestseller, New York Times bestseller, Self Help, This is Your Chance to Change Your Life.

I loved how open Gabby was about her path to healing. She's really a very relatable teacher. I felt heard and seen through her story. The check in steps you can use anytime, anywhere. I love listening to her meditations. Her voice is very soothing. You can hear the excitement in her voice, like she's just right next to you, holding your hand and cheering you on.

Thank you, universe, so much. So much love and appreciation to you, to Gabby, for spreading love, healing, and inner peace in the world. What a beautiful message. That sounds like she was listening to the audiobook, which I read, and If you're, like, listening to this show, you're definitely going to want to listen to the Self Help audiobook.

And oftentimes I think people listen and read [00:03:00] because they like to listen and then go take notes inside the hard copy. That's how I like to do it, especially with a Self Help book or a prescriptive book. I like to listen, and I like to read, and then I like to listen to all the podcasts the person talked about.

I just kind of go in the loop about it just to master the method, and then I feel good. And today is supporting you in that. Today's episode is going to support you in mastering the method from Self Help. And I'm just excited and also there's other ways to join me. I'm going to be in Los Angeles this week on the 13th of February, 13th in L.A.

I'm going to be donating the net proceeds of this event to fire relief efforts. So if you are in the L. A. area and you want to join me, definitely join me in L. A. on the 13th at the Saban Theater. I'll be in Boston on February 27th. I'm coming to the UK, to Ireland, to Canada, to Australia. All of these event tickets can be found at deargabby.com/events.

So if you want to join me, definitely let's go live, live, live, live. Let's make it happen. And [00:04:00] let me pull a card for you. Now, as we move into the next episode, I'm going to pull a card. You can hear me. I'm pulling, I'm shuffling, shuffling, I'm shuffling to pull the card. Here we go.

Card pull. Let's see what we got. Wow, when I'm in a state of appreciation, I'm in vibrational alignment with my true love nature. So there we are. Appreciation for what is thriving puts us into alignment with our true love nature. So as we start to witness the beliefs that are blocking us, as you listen to this episode and you start to undo the stories and the beliefs that are holding you back, what will happen is you'll start to.

Release those beliefs, and as we release those beliefs, we start to return to our self energy, self with a capital S. And self is the energy of appreciation. Self is the energy of universal vibrational alignment. It's your true love nature, which is what this card is about. And that self energy [00:05:00] is inside of us.

It's just, we're here to, in these practices on this podcast, in my book Self Help, in these live talks that I'm offering you, in these different practices, particularly the four step check in practice, which is going to be repeated throughout this self help journey, the steps are designed to help you release stress.

the beliefs that block you from that energy of appreciation, from that true love nature, from that vibrational alignment. And when, this is the card again, when you're in the state of appreciation, you're in vibrational alignment with your true love nature. So today's episode is going to hook you up to release the beliefs that block that true love nature and stop being in that.

Stuck energy and really that negative thought that's on loop. And this is going to teach you how to stop your thoughts from blocking your dreams. So let's let that self energy emerge naturally and open your heart to what's possible and stick around to the end because each lesson builds upon [00:06:00] the next inside this Q& A.

You're going to love it so much. It's so epic. I can't wait to share more of these with you because people keep asking me, we want more live talks, we want more Q& A. So you asked and it is given. I hope you enjoy this episode. If you love this live vibe, join me live in LA, Boston, UK, Ireland, Canada, Australia.
Head over to DearGabby.com/events and enjoy the episode. Let's release the negative thoughts on loop that are blocking you from your dreams. Let's go.

So now I'll take it from here. I'll take it from here. And I want to hear from you. I want you to give me what you've got. I want to hear your questions, your desires, your biggest dreams. I want to shift you in this moment. I want you to have a radical transformation. Tonight is another opportunity for a quantum shift.

Are you ready for it? I'll take it from here. And Wayne's like right over here next to me. He's very large. And he's like, I'm with you, girl. I'm with [00:07:00] you. We got this. Who would like to ask me a question now? We have mics running. So Joshy and, and whoever's got the mics, Alyssa and Jilly, just make sure there's always a mic in someone's hand.

And that there's mics up in the, in the balcony for our beautiful friends up there as well. Okay. Who's got the mic? Oh, I have a mic. Which side of the room are you in? Down here. Hi, sweetness. How you doing? My question is, Sometimes I wonder if, sometimes I question the difference between being intuitive and feeling like I know what I'm doing and divine timing, or, or is it something like a block that I'm avoiding, because sometimes there's certain work that I'm doing right now that I'm allowing this process to unfold, but sometimes I question if I'm in fear, procrastinating out of fear, if that makes [00:08:00] sense.

Yeah, I think you, I think you probably are. I think fear is the first responder, right? Fear is the first responder. And oftentimes when we start to open up in these ways and we start to do this deeper work in whatever form it comes, fear is going to come right in. That's a big protector, right? It's going to come in and be like, no, no, thank you.

The ego, the fear speaks first and loudest. As it says in A Course in Miracles, the ego speaks first and loudest. So, the moment that we start to let that light enter in, the fear is going to say, No, no. Or we start to even focus our attention inward. And that's why this is such a gentle process. One of my first reviews on this book in Amazon, this is not in any way to take away from therapy.

I have two therapists, I go to therapy all the time. And therapy is why I wrote this book. But this person wrote on Amazon that this book in two days gave her more relief than two years of therapy. And I think part of it is that I'm not asking you to go to the darkest moment of your life. I'm asking you to just start to give a little bit of attention to the parts of [00:09:00] yourself that have been protecting you for so long.

That feels kind of safe, right? You know, I can check in for a minute a day. That's my prescription for all of you. One minute a day, four steps. That's it. If you, I promise you this, I can look at 1400 people tonight and say, I promise you, I promise you, I promise you, I promise you, I promise you, I promise you.

One minute a day, four steps. will change your life. I didn't put the subtitle. This is your chance to change your life here for no reason. So this is my promise to you, and that's why, my love, it is fear. Fear is the first responder. Okay, so check in with the fear. Okay, fear, I see you're there. Step one, choose to check in, focus your attention inward.

Step two, become curious about the fear. Okay, where does it live in my body? How long has it been around? What do I know about it? Step three, compassionate connection. Offer some compassion. Okay, what do you need? And then listen. And then step [00:10:00] four, check for those C qualities of self, check in and see if you notice that compassion come through.

If you notice some clarity, some calmness. And those are the steps. And each chapter of this book, there's a chapter called anxious parts, a whole chapter on checking in with your anxiety. There's a chapter called body parts, checking in with the physical pain in your body because your physical pain oftentimes, well, it may have actual diagnosis.

Of course, it still is a protector. There's a whole body of work by Dr. John Sarno that the back pain is a way of avoiding and dismissing and never having to face into the impermissible rage. and fear. So there's chapters and chapters and chapters. And then there's a beautiful chapter that I'm going to prescribe to you, which is the chapter on journaling with your parts.

So you can go and you can go to your journal and you can say, okay, I'm going to choose to check in now with my fear. And you're going to become curious about the fear and the fear, let the fear, right? Let it out is the chapter, let the fear, right? And then in that third step, [00:11:00] okay, asking the fear, what do you need?

And let the fear tell you all the things it needs. And then the fourth step, just check for the calmness and check for the compassion and check for the clarity and just let it all out. Let it all out. Thank you so much. Thank you. Who's got the mic? Hi Gabby, up in the balcony. Up in the balcony! Woo! Back here!

So, I was gifted, the universe has your back, in the beginning, by a 25 year old. I was 45 at the time, I'm now 53. And thank you! And I'm celebrating my milestone chapter, which is 50 with all these adventures. And you were on the list. Someday this is gonna happen. But I have writing in here, and I was afraid to journal because someone once found my journal as a teenager.

And you gave me a safe space to write. And this is full of writing and numbers and dates, and I revisit it when I need to. But this isn't about me. I am now a mother of a 25 year old, the same age that that young lady was. And [00:12:00] she has a one and a half year old. And my oldest son is now expecting another daughter.

And we're all here for a reason. We're sitting in different parts of our journey, our maps. And I'm so grateful that little girl is in the front because I want to know what to say to my one and a half year old granddaughter, my two year old granddaughter, my 17 year old granddaughter, my 20 year old granddaughter, and my 25 year old granddaughter.

When I'm still figuring it out, but letting her know that it's okay not to know, but there's a map. You don't know where the end is, and maybe you don't need to. How do you tell that little 10 year old to navigate the way that some of us are here to still figure out how to do that? Well, you've got the book, baby.

Guess what? Here's the steps. You do the work, these four steps, and you start to create a relationship to your child's parts. And you master these steps and then you teach [00:13:00] them, you teach them to the children. So when my son is activated and I notice a part coming up, right, my son has a little part that's like, if I'm not the boss, I don't belong.

And he learned it when he was three years old. There was a. bully in his class, a six, a six year old that wasn't, was, you know, didn't want to hang out with a three year old. And you learn, I got to be the big boy. I got to be the boss. And we've been working with this part. And so, you know, instead of saying, stop doing that, or you're bad, or put the nerf gun down.

We will choose to check in. You kind of get it with little kids. You got to make sure you get the right moment. Our moment with Wally is usually right before bed, because that's when he's the most open. And then you'll say, okay, so how are you feeling? What's going on? And then you get curious. Oh, okay. What does that feel like?

Oh, and he, he knows cause his mom is a self help book author. I was like, I don't want to do that, mommy.

But I'll try anyway. And I'll keep. Okay. So tell me [00:14:00] more about that. What do you know about that? Tell me a little bit more about that. And then the next thing is, what do you need, baby? What do you need? And then maybe I'll do a little breath practice. We'll do two strokes in, one out. We'll calm down a little bit.

And then I'll say, do you feel a little bit more calm? And he'll say, yeah. And I'll be like, jackpot. Just connected my child to self. Okay, because they're little, right? And they, they need our self energy. They're going to regulate with our self energy. So the first answer, my love for all your children and your grandchildren is to do the practice for yourself first.

Okay, baby, you have to heal yourself first, put your oxygen mask on first. And then what happens with these little people is that they resonate with our vibration. And so the more that we heal, the more that they heal and the more resonance they have with that self energy, because right now we are their self energy.

They have their own, but we are the mirror of it. So this is just as much a parenting book for your own [00:15:00] internal children as an inner parenting book as it is for parenting your own children. And my 10 year old sister in this front, you're a rock star, sweetie. I'm gonna pull a card for her right now.

Let's pull a card for her. You know, you pull it. You pick a card, baby. Let's pick a card. Put your hand on one card. She's so cute. Oh my God. Look at your funky nails. Go girl. All right, let's see. She said, I welcome healthy, loving relationships. How's that feel healthy, loving relationships. There she goes.

There she goes. She's so beautiful. Okay. So you following with me. Bring them into the conversation. My friends, you know, when I love something, I just got to share about it. I am a biohacker. No, seriously, I am in my bedroom at night with red light masks and all kinds of Fun gadgets. And that is why I'm here to tell you what I'm obsessed with right now.

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I'll just do my meditation with my face mask on. Sometimes I'll cook with it on. That's not always a fan favorite for my husband. But this product is amazing. The red light therapy has been reviewed in over 400 peer [00:17:00] review studies, including more than 400 double blind placebo trials. And the results they're nothing short of amazing showing major health benefits and zero negative side effects.

And I use the red light face mask pretty much every single day. And I'm really not kidding you with 10 to 20 minutes. It's so relaxing. It's lightweight. And I just. see a difference right away. So my friends go to bondcharge. com and use coupon code GB15 to save 15%. That's B O N C H A R G E. com and use coupon code GB15 to save 15%.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. So guys, you know, I talk about this. over and over and over again. But I am the biggest proponent of therapy. That's why I'm so honored to have BetterHelp as a long standing sponsor of this show, because when it comes to beginning or even changing your therapeutic journey, there's no better place than BetterHelp.

I have couples therapy. I have personal therapy. It is something I don't live without. In fact, I was missing some of my therapy sessions [00:18:00] during my book tour, and I just called up my therapist. I was like, can you please squeeze me in? Because it's the stable energy in my life. Having a therapist is just crucial in helping us identify and practice new behaviors and help heal the behaviors that hold us back.

And BetterHelp is a longstanding sponsor of this show. And it's the perfect place to begin because when you're ready for therapy, sometimes it's not always easy to find the right therapist. And BetterHelp will quickly and easily connect you with a licensed therapist who can take you on your own journey of self discovery.

It's convenient. It's flexible. It's affordable. And you have the option of doing your sessions on the phone or video, and all you have to do is just fill out this brief questionnaire and they're going to set you up with the right therapist for you. Discover your relationship green flags. And another thing is, is therapy is really going to help you heal your relationships and find those Red flag moments and turn them into green flag moments.

So discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/DearGabby today to get 10 percent off your [00:19:00] first month. Today's podcast is sponsored by MidiHealth. Attention ladies. I have a very important message for you today. If you are a woman in her forties or older, and well, maybe even if you're in your thirties or late thirties.

You might be experiencing hot flashes. You might be experiencing brain fog. You might be experiencing moodiness. You might be having aches and pains and bloating and weight gain. Yeah. Okay. Listen up my friends. This is perimenopause or even menopause. Take it from me. I know firsthand how long I lived with an undiagnosed perimenopause experience looking for all the right answers in the wrong places.

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Who's got the mic? So I'm doing your challenge and two days ago You asked as part of the challenge to speak to the universe and say show me a sign and so it's the end of the day and I'm saying to the universe show me the sign and The, the chances of this sign showing up in the form of a [00:21:00] person was like zero in a bajillion, right?

Not only does this person show up, I get on the train and this person shows up and they sit next to me on the train that I asked. To show up like very impossible in New York City. So it freaked me out so much that the next I got so excited. I was like the universe brought me this person. This is not possible, right?

It freaked me out so much that the next day I then was freaked out. Like, I, I was like, I can't manifest. Like, I can't even think. Like, this is too good to be true. And so, I guess my question for you is, I don't know, that was, that part of the challenge was maybe two days ago. And I woke up the next day and I'm like, I, I don't even think I can write it down.

Like, I couldn't, it wasn't that I felt blocked, but it was like, The, the person showing up was so profound, it was like the universe slapped me in the face that like, I didn't, I don't know how to get back to the place where I'm like, I'm really excited, I'm back [00:22:00] to my manifesting, like, so I guess I'm asking you, is that Did you do day seven?

What was day, was that burying? Which, what was that? It was the self help check in. Uh oh. She skipped it. Are we, are we day nine? I'm not sure, but Go back to day seven. Okay. Okay. Check in. Okay. Because there's a part of you right now that's saying this is too good to be true and I'd like you to check in with that part.

Okay. Yes, my love. Thank you. And someone from my team, can somebody grab me a stool? My, my heels are really, really high. I'd love a stool if there, if you could source one in this venue with lots of staff. Okay. Yes. Hello, my love. And then we'll go back up to the balcony in a moment. Hi, sweetheart. Hi, Gabby.

We met. Last year at the, I can do a conference on the plane. Oh, nice to see you on the plane. You were my girlfriend on the plane. Yes. So first of all, all of us, we, I think we are the first generation of people who are fortunate [00:23:00] enough to have the knowledge that our parents and grandparents didn't have.

So I always feel fortunate about that. What happens to me is for my work that I've discussed with you is. I want to help, but I always get stuck that as a parent, my responsibility is my children first. Okay. Who is it that you want to help? The world. Children in general. Yeah. I wrote the book, Don't Press End.

Oh, yes. Yes. About the wife. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So I am a public speaker and I do. Yes, you are. Thank you Jessica Thank you. She's back And I do do that at a level that is helping but it needs grand help, right? but for me to let go of my role as a mother first to put all of what needs to be put into that.

I find it great difficulty to [00:24:00] let go of that without fear that my children aren't launched. My children aren't this. It's a different world. They need us more than they did. And all, all of those things that mothers wondering A little question. What's the belief that's blocking you from stepping into the big work that you're here to do in the world?

It's not fear of doing it because Not fear of doing it. I don't think so either. Yeah. It's letting go of them. My children. Okay. So it's, it's, it's holding onto the kids. Yeah. Yeah. Because my instinct is that there's more than enough to go around. Right? And when we're in self energy and we make this commitment, then the times that we show up for this person or the times that we show up for that person are so much more connected, because remember self energy is connection.

And so when you practice aligning yourself with the release of the burdened belief, [00:25:00] And you start to reconnect to that clarity and connection and, and, and creativity inside of yourself. You're going to realize my love, there is more than enough to go around. Who's got the mic in the top up there? Seems we're all in the same area up here.

So question for you, first of all, I want to say thank you for continuing to help yourself to help all of us. I guess my question is, first, how do you shut your head off, and second, how do you know which thing to check in with when you have a hundred different things that are happening? So am I a people pleaser now, or do I have the 17 different attachment styles, or what am I trying to check in with because there's too many damn things?

Can I swear too? Yeah. Like shut up and check in. Can anyone resonate? I'm sorry.[00:26:00]
You check in with what's up in the moment. You check in with what's up in the moment. And now here's the story. Here's the deal. First of all, we all are going to have, we all have, Many, many, many protectors, right? So when, and this is important to recognize too, when the controlling no longer works, the people pleasing doesn't work anymore, or the things get too extreme, then that's when we pick up the drink and that's when we go to the refrigerator.

That's when we go to the workaholism or the, or the addiction, the addicted parts. And so we have lots of different parts of ourselves that are going to be activated and activated and activated and activated. But the more you work on the day to day basis with the parts of you that are the most commonly around.

So maybe it's the people pleaser that's most commonly around. Do you know what the, may I ask you, do you know what like the most common one is? The part that's with you most days. Sorry men, but I think the one that I have said for 36 years, I've been [00:27:00] married. If my husband's happy, I'll be happy. So I've been trying my whole life to make them happy.

So I could be happy because as a child, I was told I wasn't wanted and I knew I could never make anybody happy. So I've spent my whole life trying to make people happy. So I could be happy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We give that part just a moment right now. Yeah. Thank you. And people are clapping for you because I think that they're parts of them recognize themselves in her.

Yeah. Can you just put your hand on your heart for a moment? My love. And I want you to just acknowledge in this moment as you focus your attention inward that this Being here, being with me, being in this room, buying this book, opening your heart is a huge radical message to that little girl inside of you that self is [00:28:00] here to help.

Just being here, getting on the microphone. You're showing up for that part of you. Does that, do you feel that? Can you feel that? Yes. Yeah. I want you to recognize, guys, that it's no small thing to show up, to get your butt in the seat, to open the book, to listen to the audio, to ask the question. It's no small thing to show up.

Because when you make these small adjustments. And you say, I'm going to go and listen tonight. I'm going to pick up the microphone and ask tonight. I'm going to open my heart tonight. I'm going to read that page tonight. I'm going to try that four steps tonight. You are sending a radical message inside.

And you guys know this. If you follow my work, you know, [00:29:00] I am not about overnight success. I am all about the subtle shifts for radical change. And so my sweet friend, you're doing something for the little girl tonight. Can you take that in? Can you take that in? Feel that. Can you guys feel that? Thank you.

Yeah. You're welcome, sweetheart. I think that, listen, these beliefs are young, right? She shared this is a young belief. It's been around for a long time. So it's not going to go away tomorrow, but tonight, just now with the check in and this conversation with her, she's recognizing, Oh wait, there is actually some safety inside.

Wait, there is a way to turn inward. Sometimes I'm not sure if this has happened to you guys, but sometimes just knowing there's a plan or a practice is enough to settle and soothe yourself. Does anybody have that experience? Yes. [00:30:00] I think it's one of the miracles of 12 step recovery. You know, when I first got sober, just knowing I had a place to walk into, knowing that I had three things to do.

Go to a meeting, don't drink, and call your sponsor. Go to a meeting, don't drink, call your sponsor. Go to a meeting, don't drink, call your sponsor. And I was like, okay, one day at a time, I can do that. One day at a time, 19 and a half years old, you know, it's like, hello. So can you do one minute of four steps a day?
Can you? Can you? The girl who didn't do day seven?

I'm just joking with you. I'm just joking. I think you probably did do day seven. You just didn't realize, or you were just like, Oh, this isn't like sexy enough, you know? But let's talk about that for a second. Let's talk about that because that was why I chose to read that passage to you because you guys, I know you guys, cause you're like, no offense, but you're not, you're not that uncommon because you all want a quick fix.

Yeah. Who wants a quick fix? I mean, she just wants a quick orgasm right here. Our poor 10 year old child in this [00:31:00] room, God bless. Okay. That she doesn't want to be quick. Right.

You have to come on the road with me. So the thing is, is like, we want it to just be there. We want it to be quick. Right. But the only way I've been able to write 10 books in 15 years is because I've been savoring these steps because I've been marinating in this work because I've been allowing myself to just.

Do one subtle shift at a time and each subtle shift has sent a little message to little Gabby inside and said it's safe little traumatized Gabby who had extreme trauma as a child and my extreme trauma was so extreme that I actually dissociated from it and did not remember it until I was 36 years old.

Talk about protector parts. And so how have I survived and thrived? One small step at a time. These steps are designed to give you a molecule of self. [00:32:00] Because a molecule of self is all you need to feel that little moment of relief. And that little moment of relief gives you a little bit of muscle memory and it says, you know what?

Actually, there's a little safety inside. That feels good. I want a little bit more. Okay. You with me? Can we take the quick fix and just like throw it out on the street tonight? Sorry. How's that working out for you? Yeah. Okay. Let's see who's got the mic. I want to get into the middle of the mix over here.

Yes. Let's go in that room. Okay. Yes. Hi, my name is Janae and I was introduced to you with the universe has your back I think was like 2019 and the universe did have my back and that book prepared me For the loss of my dad, four months later, my mom, six months later, my fiance, my goodness, my love, my love, 11, 11, 2020, we lost his mother.

My God. And I have [00:33:00] a 11 year old son. But thank you because I indulged myself every day into your program, your miracle membership. My son sat with me. I worry though, because he seems so good. Seems like all this trauma. isn't affecting him in school. It's not affecting his grades. He's, you know, more to himself, but he's happy.

I love you every day. And I just, a lot of people tell me there's more I should do, even though he's not showing like, let me ask you a question. Does he feel safe with you? Yes. Does he feel connected to you? Yes, like he's sat with me and listened to your meditations. He's very grateful. We used to do the gratitude train.

Nice. Does he feel calm in your presence? Yes. Does he feel creative with you? Yes. I feel does he feel your compassion? I worry about him as he [00:34:00] gets older. Because let me keep asking you, does you feel, does he feel your compassion? Yes. And he feels connected. Yes. He's, he's got your self energy, my love. I don't think you have that much to worry about.

And I will say. Like the moment to moment. I do the backpack meditation. I teach it. I'm a nurse. So I teach it to my patients. Oh my goodness. God bless you. God bless you. Can I give you some books to bring home tonight? Okay. My team will give you some of the, some of the Hay House books that we have. I want to give to her, give her a box tonight to bring to the nurses.

Okay. Well, thank you. give you a box tonight. Thank you. Yeah. Just come backstage and come and to you. Yeah. I want to tell you something. You are doing everything right. Okay. You're human. You're having a human experience. You're going to worry about your child. Okay. Check in with the part that's worried because what he needs.

is more of that self. You've got so much of it. You've got so much of it. You've been practicing and leaning in and [00:35:00] believing and strengthening your faith. That is everything my sister. Okay. So keep doing what you're doing and do not stop and just check in with the worry part. Yeah. Just check in with that worry part because that's a part that needs relief and it's understandable because it's a part that's experienced a lot of trauma.

Okay. My love. Thank you. Yeah. I'm so proud of you. I want every nurse in this country to have a copy of any one of my books. I want you, let's get the, let's get more books to the nurses. Nurses are human angels. You know that, right? They are human angels. I love you. I'm excited for your son. He's going to thrive.

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Use the exclusive code Gabby10 to get 10 percent off your membership. That's code Gabby10 to get 10 percent off. Trust your gut, trust Zoe. All right, who's got the mic? I do. We have 11 and a half minutes. So I want to make sure we get, if you have a story, like keep the story, but we're going to go into the question and get lots of juice out of this 11 and a half minutes.

Let's go [00:39:00] girlfriend. Hi. So I'm a therapist actually. Great. Um, thank you. And it's interesting because before your book came out, I kept on getting emails for like continuing education stuff. And it was a lot of them were for like IFS. Yes. Good. So cool. Do it. I feel very often that I have this like creative block that like, It's not enough to like anything that I'm doing, whether it's with my kids or whether it's with work or in any sphere.

And I'm wondering how to keep the momentum up even after like tapping into those inner workings and those pieces. So the creative block that we, does anybody else feel creatively blocked? Yeah. The creative blocks, remember self is creative energy. So the block, creativity is there. Self is your nature.

Self is the energy that's inside of you. And so the block is [00:40:00] oftentimes the belief that is repeated. And so the creativity that's wanting to emerge, you know, it's there, right? So this is the thing we walk around and we actually sometimes feel, I'm not sure if this is, if this is something that you guys have resonated, but we feel an unconscious sense of guilt.

Has anyone felt that? Because we know there's more inside. Yeah, all the time, all the time. And so the unconscious guilt that we walk around with then perpetuates another part of us that says, Oh, okay, well I'm not good enough or I'm bad and judgment and attack, right? This is this judgment cycle. So we feel guilty.

Oh, I'm not fulfilling my truth. It's not inside of me. I know there's more, but I'm not living it. And then we judge ourselves for that. And then we judge ourselves more. And then what happens is we don't like judging ourselves. Then we go judge somebody else. And then we come back and judge ourselves more and then the guilt starts to spiral.

So this is the, this is how the ego works. This is how the fear story works. It wants to do everything it can to [00:41:00] block you from that light within. And so you came here tonight asking, how do I help that light emerge? You befriend the darkness. You befriend the beliefs and the stories that are in the way.

You befriend the fear. You befriend the guilt. You befriend the judgment and you get to know it and you become compassionate towards it. You offer it space to speak and you offer it space to write and you offer it space to reveal. And then the self creative energy emerges naturally, period. I love that.
Thank you. You're very welcome. Thank you.

Who's got the mic? We have a few more minutes. Up in the balcony, anybody yet? A man, a man, a man. I got a man. I got a really loud man. With a microphone. A loud man with a microphone. Hi, I wanted to say one thing. My wife Shannon is actually over there on the other [00:42:00] end. Aw, cute. She actually talked me into coming here tonight.

Yeah. You are amazing. Every woman in here is amazing. But my wife is so unbelievably hot. Stand up.
Honey, stand up. Where are you, Shannon? Your hot you are. Oh my god, this is the best moment of my entire life. This is like one of the best moments of my entire life. You have absolutely made my marriage better, and I'm sure you've helped a lot of other people in this room, but, and, and trust me, and I'll curse too, I am f ed really bad.

No, I am. And she is My, my, when I'm not the rock, when I'm, you know, usually supposed to be, she can pick me up in a way that I can't explain. And we have five children, four girls, one boy, orgasms, forget it, constantly. [00:43:00] But honey, stand up one more time, please, everybody, give my wife a round of applause. She is the hottest piece of ass.

I've ever seen. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Stand up. Stop being a baby. Oh, my God. I love her so much. I love her so much. There wasn't two seats together. So, I had to sit over here with people who thought I was here picking up women who were broken. And I thought it was hilarious. But, honey, I love you. You are fantastic.

Gabby, thank you very much. I love you so much. Okay. Talk about self energy right there. I love you. Talk about self energy. You just extended such crazy self energy to this room. The whole room just lit up. Please pass this book backwards. I want to keep that self energy fired up inside. It's coming to you.

That book is coming to you. I'll sign it. I'll sign out. I'll, I'll sign. So I gotta go. I need help. [00:44:00] Universe. Okay. Are you down or up? I'm up. Hi. Hi. I actually, my name is Wyra. I sent you an email a couple of days ago. It was like the first fan mail thing I ever sent. And it was kind of crazy. I, um, oh my God, I'm so nervous now.

So I've been practicing. I said, I've, I've, I've been studying. I've been a student of. The Law of Attraction for about a decade now, but I realized when I started doing your challenge that I actually haven't been studying. The challenge really has made me look inward and kind of ask myself the tough questions and really kind of dig deep and see what those fears are.

And there's a lot of them. I mean, I've never really thought of myself as a scared person, yes, anxious. Which I understand is a form of fear. Anyway, for time's sake. My question is, I'm a great manifester. I manifest things all the time. I [00:45:00] manifested you. Tomorrow's my birthday. Happy birthday! Happy birthday!

Thank you. And, like, just out of the, you know, I, I, Sorry, but I didn't know who you were. You came up on my Facebook. I'm like, Absolutely, I'm gonna do this challenge. And then, I love your energy, your voice. So, I started listening to Super Attractor, and it's all, like, click, click, clicking. But one of the things that you said in the beginning of the challenge was, like, to focus on one thing.

Uh huh. And with the self help, same thing. Go down the spiral, like, okay, I'm not good enough. I'm not enough. Uh huh. I am not worthy. I'm not deserving. Or like, how do you pick and choose? Like, it's a lot of work. I think this question keeps coming, so I'm going to answer it again. Ready? This is important. And I love you.

You're so fab, and I'm so glad that you, like, clicked, clicked, clicked, and found me. Okay? So, so here's the story. We have lots of parts inside of us. It's a big family of little people inside that they're like screaming at us all day long. Okay. And there's no bad parts. They all have an important role.

They're working really hard to [00:46:00] keep us safe. So let's say we love you. Every part of who we are. Can we say that tonight? I love every part of who I am and I want to respect and honor it all. I want you to right now, maybe consider You know, if you're like, I want to spot checks throughout the day. So you notice anxiety, come in, do a little check in with it.

If you notice some fear, come in, do a little check in with it. If you notice the controlling part, come in, do a little check in with it. But then there's probably one or two that are really present all the time. Yeah, they're very, very much up the same loop of the story, the same repeated belief system.

But there it is. There it is. There it is. That's where you might want to take it to your journal and go do some of the, let the, let it out stuff in the journal. Okay. Everybody with me on that. So you guys, you are your own inner healer. I am here to tell you the story. I am here to crack you open. I am here to reveal to you what's possible, but yourself is here to help you.

You got me. Okay. Okay. You got that baby girl. Okay. So, so, so spot check throughout the [00:47:00] day. Go deeper with the journaling when you feel called and the more you do it, the easier it becomes and the more you can just do it in the moment. Okay. It's the simplest thing. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Oh, you're so welcome. Where's who's got the mic. Hi, Gabby. Hi, Gabby. I heard a man's voice. Right here, Gabby. Right here. That's Josh's voice. Hi, Gabby. Right there. Okay. Hi. Can you hear me? Yeah. I love you. I'm going to keep it quick. So when I'm doing a lot of your meditations, I consistently get the imagery, but I can't always find The part in my body.

Is there, do you have a trick? That's not uncommon. You know, I think that sometimes people actually can't even see imagery, right? Dick Schwartz, who founded, who founded IFS, he actually can't see the images. Like, it's like a thing. It's actually, I think it's a, it's a, it's a, it's something that, I don't know, there's a name for it.

If you can't feel it, if you can't feel it, or you've noticed the sensations in your body, look, access what you can access. When you turn inward, access what you can access. You might notice that the more you check in and you get the imagery and you check in with the imagery that the, as time, as time goes on, you might have a little bit more [00:48:00] of a connection to the sensations, but don't judge it.

Just do it. You with me? Yes. Great question. Thank you. Great question. Okay. Rapid fire. Who's got the mic? I see you. I just got to get a bike. We've got what everybody seems to need a mic. Whoever's going to, who's got the mic in their hand right now? I do. Hi Gabby. Hi. Hi. Hi. Where are you? Hi. I love it. I just wanted to say I love you so much.

And my brother is getting married in. Oh, sorry. Can you hold this for me? Yeah. Sorry. My brother is getting married in June and my sister in law to be loves you so much. I just find it so funny that they're moving to Bernstein lane. Bernstein. I cannot. Superman. And she's a nurse. She's a nurse as well as a nurse.

Yes. And she, she's come down for books. We gotta give her some books tonight. Oh, thank you so much. Yeah. I love you. Thank you. I love you. I love you. That was just an I love you. I love her. Who's got the mic? Hi Gabby, everybody. Hi. Tell all of your anxious parts. [00:49:00] I'll give you a few extra minutes. Okay. Hi, my name's Ally and I actually met you years ago at the SHE Summit when I was working in New York City.

And then. My it was so funny like right after I got out. I'm gonna interrupt you ready, baby Yeah, I'm gonna go right into the question. Keep it going. Okay, so I don't want to bring the energy down So I'll just say it like really quick when I was 16. I had a very traumatic event in my life I was attacked and assaulted and I'm 33 now, so I've lived more In this version of myself, which it's okay.

I'm fine. I'm excited to meet you and then just in the moment, but I'm really fine. I've done a lot of trauma therapy. I want to write a book and I don't want to be so close up to the trauma that it hinders. the writing process. Yeah. [00:50:00] But I want to be able to write a book that's uplifting. It's called top spin and it's about how having a positive attitude can shape your life's momentum.

Yeah. So I want it to be inspiring. I'm trying to focus on what I want. Can I stop you for a moment? Yeah. I want to just let you recognize how beautiful it is that you can have these protector parts that can come in. We heard it just now, like audibly. And she was in the trauma part and then she said, I'm okay.

I'm okay. I'm okay. And we heard the voice like lift up. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. And then it went into this, like, you know, I'm okay. Part. And then she, and then I'm, and I'm, I'm only pointing this out just, just to help you see how much you're protecting yourself and how beautiful it is. And to help you have so much love and connection and compassion to these, when we have extreme trauma, which many of us in this room have experienced, we have lots of defense mechanisms and lots of protection mechanisms.

And we might [00:51:00] think, Oh, we should pathologize them. And there's something wrong with us because we can go from this part of us to this part of us to this part of us in moments, but it's actually quite beautiful. Because our brain has done a beautiful job of creating all these mechanisms to keep us feeling safe in these moments.

And they all have an important role to play in our life. All of these different parts of ourselves. The part of you that wants to write about it. And the part of you that needs to cry about it. And the part of you that needs the therapy with it. And I want to tell you how proud I am of you for allowing all of these parts to be present, my love.

Do you hear me? Yeah, I appreciate it. Do you hear me? I appreciate it. And what I want, and I want, I want you to know is to keep doing what you're doing and to trust. And there's, I have a book called happy days and it's in the back and I want to buy it for you tonight from the booksellers. So take it from the table and tell them to bill me.

Okay. It's called happy days, the guided path from trauma to profound freedom and inner peace. And I want that to be your book tonight. And I want that book to open your heart more. And I want you to really experience that the trauma journey is not something that you [00:52:00] were alone in. You're not alone. I'm so grateful to you and I just wanted to let you know that I'm, my 2025 goal is the book and I'm going to be signing up for your book writing class.

Beautiful. I've done my diligence and I am so sold on your class, but um, I just wanted to thank you. You sat on the flight, a JetBlue flight from Miami to New York next to my dad and like talked about me on the flight and he was like, oh my gosh, like my daughter. would love you. But then when he came home, I was like, no dad, you don't understand.

I just met Gabby at the she summit. And so it was like a total synchronicity, like 25 years ago. Yeah, it was crazy. But I would just want it. I, yeah, I would love to connect with you, but I don't want to take, I want, well, here's the good news. You're going to take the bestseller masterclass. You're going to write that book and you're going to send me a copy and I'm going to write back to you.

And I'm going to tell you how proud I am of you in every part of who you are. Thank you,
Gabby. This is your [00:53:00] mom. Oh my God. I want to tell you how proud I am. I didn't even know you were coming. I thought you weren't. I'm right in front of the girl that just talked. I wasn't planning on talking, but the microphone found me.

Hi mom. But I'm very proud of you and I was there for the bumps the bumps the bumps. Yes I got that was very present with the bus mom. I love you. Thank you for being here I know I know and leave it to you to find a mic, you know Look, where'd you think I got it from? I don't know. She was coming.

Hi mom, So guys listen, listen, I could go on for hours. I love you. I want to really leave you with this I want to leave you with this There is safety inside, and there is freedom [00:54:00] from the past, and there are freedom moments along the way. And even though it might feel like an insurmountable task to undo the beliefs of your past, it is possible, and it is real, and I am proof, and you can have a lot of fun along the way.

And I'm so proud of you. And I love you. And I'm so grateful to be your teacher. Thank you so much for joining me here tonight in New York. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you're truly committed to miracles. I'm really proud of you. If you want to get more Gabby tune in every Monday for a new episode. Make sure to subscribe so [00:55:00] you don't miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me, so I really want to welcome you to leave an honest review.

And you can follow me on social media at Gabby Bernstein. And if you want to get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby'd live at DearGabby.com. See you next week. Gabby. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.