free meditation
hero image spiritual connection

What if I told you that the answer to your deepest problems isn’t some massive breakthrough or huge external change, but something you can’t even see?

For years, I searched for happiness in all the wrong places. I kept journals filled with anxiety, self-loathing, and romantic dramas. I was addicted to drugs, addicted to fear, and addicted to the idea that something outside of me—the right boyfriend, the perfect body, the next achievement—would finally fix the pain I felt inside. I was searching for something outside of myself and trying to force change in my life.

But here’s what 20 years of sobriety has taught me: The big, life-altering changes didn’t come from anything outside of me. They came from the small, daily shifts inside. They came from strengthening my faith in the Universe.

My faith is what got me through my darkest moments—remembering a repressed childhood trauma, losing a child in a late-stage pregnancy, and navigating the daily struggles of life.

In this episode, I’m sharing how you build a faith so strong that it can carry you through anything. Press play and let me show you how.

get more gabby

disclaimer

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

dear gabby #283 Sep 29, 2025 spiritual connection

it’s taken me 20 years to realize what I’m sharing in this episode….

[00:00:00] The following podcast is a dear media production.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I'm your host Gabby Bernstein, and if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you're ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let's get started.

Welcome back to Dear Gabby, my friends. Welcome back. This is a very, very, very important time for me. Oh, it's 1111. While I'm recording this, just FYI, everybody listening, I love how the universe works and it's right around a very important time for me. October 2nd is my 20 year sober anniversary, and I wanted to mark this milestone by trying to condense 20 years of wisdom into 10 minutes, and I decided to reflect on the past 20 years and [00:01:00] distill what my sobriety has meant to me, and to give you a message of the most important thing I'd done to create unshakeable faith.

And after this 10 minute masterclass of the most important thing I've learned in 20 years of sobriety, I'm actually gonna answer some questions that you've been asking me about breaking free from old patterns and what it means to be sober, curious, and what it's like to recover.

Simply noticing the ways that you numb out and what recovery is like, and noticing some of the ways that you might numb out with habits or addictions or. Maybe even just fear thoughts that you keep getting into a loop with. And I hope that this 10 minute masterclass is gonna support you in ways that you could never have imagined.

And my prayer is that this is the exact message that you needed to hear today to feel free and to feel guided, and to feel seen. So, stick around to the end and expect many miracles from this episode. What have I told you? That the answer to your deepest [00:02:00] problems, to your biggest issues. Isn't some massive breakthrough or a huge external change in your life, but something that you can't even see.

We're all searching for happiness and we're all searching for inner peace and safety. But what have you've been looking at all the wrong places. In the next 10 minutes, I'm gonna share with you the single most important practice that I've cultivated over 20 years of sobriety. This has gotten me through addiction.

This has gotten me through loss. This has gotten me through the absolute darkest moments in my life, and it can do the same for you. It all comes down to the power of everyday miracles. When I look back at my early twenties, I'm kind of watching myself, like I'm looking at a different person. And for so many years I kept journals.

And in those journals is where I just let it out. I let out my deep rooted pain. I let out all that suffering that I was living with every single day. I would just dump it all into these journals and page after page was filled with anxiety and [00:03:00] self-loathing and this constant obsession with my body weight or my romantic dramas, or writing about trying to quit drugs while high on drugs.

That's where I was. I was caught in this endless cycle. I thought that my happiness and my security and my safety was gonna come from something outside of myself. It was something I had to find out there, and I thought if I just got the right boyfriend or the perfect body or the next achievement, then that misery and that insecurity and those feelings of being inadequate and unlovable, that it would all just finally disappear.

I was addicted. I was addicted to drugs. I was addicted to fear. I was addicted to the outside world, and I was gonna do whatever it took to numb the pain. I was gonna do whatever it took to avoid the feelings of my own fears. I was constantly on guard and hypervigilant, and I was unable to enjoy the simple, happy moments because presence was an afterthought.

I had no idea what it meant to be present, and I was looking for my happiness, and I was looking for my safety and [00:04:00] my self worth in all the wrong places. And I was searching for something to save me. Not realizing that the whole time what I was truly looking for was actually inside me. And here's where I had it wrong.

I thought I had to do it all myself to white knuckle my way through life. I thought that waiting for some huge external event to make me feel good was enough and make me feel safe and make me feel complete. And I was searching and hunting and trying to force these changes into my life. But here's what 20 years has taught me.

The big life altering changes didn't come from anything outside of me. It came from the small daily shifts inside the tiny moments of choosing new thoughts or seeing the small signs of the universe and saying thank you. Surrendering my fears through prayer, opening my heart to connection. It wasn't about a big breakthrough, it was about the daily practice of strengthening my faith muscle.

It was about the synchronicities and that right [00:05:00] person calling it the right time and the intuitive nudge to go to that yoga class or read that book that fell off the shelf or that song on the radio. It's those subtle moments every day that were evidence that the universe had my back. And as I learned to make that surrender a daily practice, I started to believe in the universe.

I started to have faith that I was being guided. But then what happens when the shit hits the fan and everything starts to fall apart? In those moments of heartbreak or a loss or diagnosis, we can start to feel like we've been abandoned by that faith that we develop, but it's in our darkest moments that we must rely on our faith most.

Developing my faith in the universe one day at a time held me in the dark moments. 10 years into my sobriety, I remembered a childhood trauma that I had dissociated from for 30 years. Remembering that trauma catapulted me back into the experience. And I was in terror and fear, and I spent a year [00:06:00] trying to pull myself outta bed and I was lucky if I could brush my teeth, and that was the year that I wrote my book.

The Universe Has Your Back and writing that book saved my life. The surrender, the transforming fear into faith, the turning it over one day at a time. Then 16 years into my sobriety, I lost a child in a late stage pregnancy. I remember after having to release the child, I said to my friends, my faith is holding me like a blanket and it's guiding me to heal, and I can feel that faith even in this moment.

I can feel the gratitude I had for that faith in that dark moment because the promise of daily faith one day at a time is that it creates this spiritual foundation to hold you when you fall. You start to intuitively know how to take it one day at a time, and you can ask for the small sign and the single step, and that trust will come and that payoff of that daily practice is real.

It's real, my friends. It holds you in those moments of [00:07:00] breaking down, and it allows you to know that you're always being guided. It's so easy to have faith when things are going great, right? You could always have faith when things go well and you get that great news and you see the sign and you celebrate the synchronicities.

Then a challenge hits in a job loss or a breakup or a scary diagnosis, and that just all falls apart. But these can be the moments of breakthrough. Those bottom moments don't have to break you. They can be where you breakthrough. So what is it like to live with unshakeable faith? It's not about never having problems, it's just not.

It's about knowing that you're being guided no matter what, and it can feel. Like a quiet confidence and a sense of being guided and supported, even in uncertainty. Even in those tough times, you're feeling that guidance, you're feeling that security, and it's the ability to surrender to the outcome, and it's trading that fear for this really deep inner knowing that you are never alone and that everything is happening for your [00:08:00] highest good, and believing that your obstacles are detours in the right direction and opening your heart to the everyday miracles.

So how do you start to build that muscle? You can start today, right now, right here, just for today. You can give one fear away. You can pick one thing that you've been worrying about. You can take that bill or that conversation, or that health concern or that job that you've been really wanting. And just for today, you can hand it over.

You can just simply say a prayer universe, thank you for taking this from me. Show me the next Right. Action. Just take that in. Just really take that in. The relief and the breath of just giving that fear away just for today. And when you do this, when you create that space, the guidance comes. You're suddenly thinking of a friend that you need to call or that friend calls you.

You're gonna see that ad for a book that you need to read, or you're gonna stumble upon a podcast episode. Maybe it was this one. These are the [00:09:00] exact moments that you need to hear. These are the moments of conversation with the universe, and this is how the conversation with the universe begins. So I want you to take a moment to just look at your own life and think about where do you need more faith?

Where do you need to feel supported? Where are you stuck? And what is the one thing that you can give away just for today, what is that one thing? Give it away. I want you to hear me when I say this. The big transformations. That you're seeking the security inside, the happiness, the joy, the life beyond your wildest dreams.

I promise you. I promise you that they are available to you, but they're built on a foundation of small daily miracles. Lots of little right actions, starting to look for them and starting to acknowledge them. This is how you build a faith so strong that it can carry you through anything, and this is how you know in your heart and in your soul.

You trust [00:10:00] that the universe always has your back.

I've always been someone really into natural and holistic practices from meditation to eating clean. I was brought up homeopathic. I've always known that the holistic approach has been my way. And over the years I've had a lot of ongoing gut issues and skin changes, and talked a lot about perimenopause and menopause here, and I've learned how powerful it is to find rituals that actually support my body's rhythm.

And that's why I'm really excited to share with you that I am going to open up about something personal. That's why I'm really excited to share with you a product that I've been using that really changed me. Really served me, and women have trusted this product. Castor oil for centuries, for digestion, for skin, and for overall wellness.

Holistic goddess has elevated that ancient ritual for what we need today, and the castor oil trifecta kit isn't just. Castor Oil. It's a [00:11:00] trio designed for your gut, your skin, and your sleep. And they've got this little rose quartz roller ball, which is just so beautiful, and I love that holistic goddess uses clean, hormone friendly ingredients, and women had it right for centuries.

My friends, we've had it right for centuries, and holistic goddess just made it better with clean hormone friendly ingredients and result that you can feel. Really good about. So if your body's craving a reset, this is it. Order your castor oil trifecta kit with my discount and you will see what I mean.

Use my promo code Gabby and get $20 off@holisticgoddess.com slash gabby. That's holistic goddess.com/gabby. Promo code Gabby right here. Right now I'm wearing a glucose monitor. Why? Because thank God I started, I didn't realize what was going on, but I got my blood work back about six months ago and my glucose levels were really high and it was about 5.8, which is pre-diabetic, [00:12:00] and I was like, what the heck is going on here?

And my doctor explained to me that the best way to understand my levels was to actually use the brand levels, put on a glucose monitor, and use the Levels app to understand what's happening and how food is affecting my blood sugar. Within three months of wearing the glucose monitor and checking my levels, I got my glucose down to 5.3.

This is in three months. Guys, you can completely change your biomarkers when you show up for yourself, and I recently found out that 12% of Americans are metabolically healthy. And why is this alarming? Well, the single biggest predictors of how long you live and how good you feel while living is your metabolic health, and that's why I'm using levels to better understand my own metabolic health.

What I can be doing to improve and levels has helped me get a really clear picture and control of my health, something they've never had before. And the membership comes with a 28 marker cardio metabolic blood test, which helps you see exactly where your health stands and it can give you clear guidance on how to improve.[00:13:00]

And you can also get the expanded panel, which will give you even more details with over a hundred biomarkers. So right now, levels is offering my listeners an additional two free months on the Levels Annual membership when you use my link levels link slash gabby. I don't know how long this offer's gonna last.

So if you've been interested in learning more about your metabolic health, now is the absolute best time to get started. Levels Link slash Gabby. Today's sponsors are the products I love so much. I'm literally one after the next. Right now I'm sleeping on this incredible eight sleep mattress. It is a cooling mattress.

It also heats up. But I need the cool, 'cause I'm, I'm sweating at night people and it is making my sleep so much better. My freaking sun is getting into my bed every single night being like, mommy, it's cold in here. I like it better. So annoying, but I love him anyway. You have. Got to have heard of Eat Sleep by now.

They are the company with the sole mission of improving your sleep and they just launched their latest product, POD five. That's what I've got. And Pod five is the newest generation of their signature product. The pod, a [00:14:00] smart mattress cover that you place right on top of your existing mattress. And this is the next level sleep tech.

And they have a feature that's. This AI driven autopilot and snore detection and even integrates speakers for white noise and guided meditations and the pod is like having a sleep coach personal thermostat. It's unbelievable. And so this is what surprised me. There is a hot flash mode and the pod cools you down before the hot flash can actually wake you up.

Hot flashes don't just steal hours of your sleep, but they steal your energy and your clarity and they are mess up your brain. So people, this is super valuable. If you head over to eight sleep.com/dear Gabby, you can use the promo code Dear Gabby, to get $350 off your own Pod five Ultra. And the best part is that you still get 30 day trial to try it at home and return it if you don't like it.

But I'm gonna tell you something, I'm so confident that you're gonna love it. It is changing my life. Trust me, your body will thank you for this investment and better sleep shipping to many countries worldwide. See details at eight sleep.com/dearGabby.[00:15:00]

I hope this message resonates with you deeply. And I always wanna practice offering you practical and spiritual solutions as well. So I'm gonna take this another step further beyond my 10 minute riff on how I transformed my life through the 20 years of recovery. And now give you some answers to really common questions that you guys keep asking me about breaking old patterns and dealing with addiction and numbing out and how to trust something better is on the other side of the fear and the processes of addiction and even the fear-based loops that we get ourselves in.

And my answers are going to offer you practical spiritual solutions that you can start using today. And so I want you to get ready to feel seen and feel supported and feel guided.

So let's dive in. The first question I love, dear Gabby, what daily rituals and routines help you the most when you're trying to break a pattern or shift a behavior that no longer serves you? The daily [00:16:00] rituals that I rely on, my non-negotiables that help me stay clean and sober now for 20 years, that help me stay committed to my spiritual path, that help me stay consistent with my personal development are simple, but really profound.

Every morning I wake up and before I even look at my phone or even speak to anyone in my mind. I do my daily design method, so I place my palms facing upward, and I just lie back and rest my head and I ask myself four questions. Who do I wanna be today? What do I wanna feel today? What do I want to give today?

And what do I want to receive today? By asking myself these four questions, right? When I wake up in the morning, I'm actually starting a conversation with the universe. I'm opening my heart. To know that there is more beyond my physical sight, and that there is an energy and a presence supporting me and guiding me.

I'm also reminding myself that I have the [00:17:00] power to co-create my life, that I can choose for today, who I wanna be, I can choose for today, how I wanna feel. I can choose for today, what I wanna give and what I want to receive. And by designing my day, I set myself up to win. And it can be very simple. Who do I wanna be today?

I wanna be a calm presence in the world. Or who do I wanna be today? I wanna be a good mom, or I wanna be a fun coworker. How do I wanna feel today? It can be, I wanna feel calm, I wanna feel peace. I wanna feel joy. What do I wanna give? I wanna give. Support. I wanna give love. What do I wanna receive? Oh my God.

You can say, I wanna receive cash. I wanna receive spiritual awakening, whatever it is that you desire, but just setting yourself up for this incredible day ahead as the power to transform the way you show up for the rest of your day. It gives you an energetic momentum. It's an intention setting process.

It's an affirmation in the morning. It's a way of really catapulting your life. Towards what you desire rather [00:18:00] than going in the wrong direction from the moment you open your eyes. I love this question Dear Gabby, how do you handle the fear that life's gonna be boring or empty when you let go of the thing that you've been relying on to keep you safe, the thing that you've been chasing, whether it's a substance, a habit, or even a relationship?

I love this question so much because. It reminds me of the early days of my sobriety. I got sober at 25 years old and I was like straight out of the club, right into the recovery group. And I looked at my life and I realized I've gotta change all my friends. I've gotta change all my patterns. I have to resurrect my life really.

But I faced that fear head on, and I opened my heart to something new. I opened my heart to a new way of being, to a new type of friend, to a new type of routine. I started to rely on the support that was around me. [00:19:00] And I can think back to that time, I think back to my early recovery when I was rollerblading all over New York City from sober meeting to yoga class, to a raw food dinner in the East Village way before people were even gluten-free.

And I was just in this cocoon of safety that I had created. I had to build the practices around me to allow me to feel like my life was still cool. So if you're in this moment on the precipice of deciding to put something down and start something new and change a pattern, the best way to change the pattern is to put a new pattern in place of it.

So if you wanna put down the drink and the drug, maybe you pick up that art project. If you wanna put down the addiction to the romantic love, maybe you pick up a relationship with a friend that you've been ignoring, and you start developing more love and more energy in your friendships. Whatever you're putting down can be replaced with something God [00:20:00] guided, something led by a power greater than you can be replaced by something that is in the energy of love.

So taking that thing that has been holding you back and you decide to let it go. What else could be in its place? What other practice or habit or behavior? I went from picking up the drink to picking up the phone and calling a sponsor. I went from using drugs to using the group, the yoga class, the community in my sobriety, the friends that I was cultivating as a way of feeling safe and a way of feeling good enough.

These new patterns of behavior put me into a different point of attraction and created an energy behind me that led me towards the next right action and the next right action in one day at a time. Now, here I sit with you sitting back, looking 20 years later, and a life of sobriety, a life of clarity, and a really fun life, something I would never change.

So all that fun that I thought I'd be missing out on actually is way [00:21:00] more fun than I ever could have imagined. I love this question. This is a big one. Dear Gabby, how do you support someone you love when they're struggling with addiction or old patterns, without enabling or trying to control them? This is a big one.

It's something for you to really think about. Those of you out there who are in relationship with people who are struggling with addiction or patterns that are destructive, you have to look at your own side of the street. You have to recognize what part of me is trying to save them. What part of me.

Feels good enough and adequate by constantly being the savior. By asking yourself those questions, you start to recognize your part in this relationship and your part in the dynamic, and you have to begin this process by recognizing if you have a need to fix. Then that's something for you to heal.

That's something for you to reflect on. And one thing you could do is go through the journey of my book, Self-Help. This is your chance to change your life, and that book will give you the practice of really recognizing the parts in [00:22:00] yourself that feel that they need to people please, or that they need to be the savior and start working with that part.

And then instead of trying to save the person, you might wanna hand them that book or show them a video about the four steps of self-help. Because those four steps are the greatest way for someone to begin to undo the pattern of addiction and start to really tend to the parts of themselves, the inside, that are using the addiction to run, to hide, and to protect themselves.

So you don't have to be the savior. There's countless books, there's countless support systems out in the world. Use the power of suggestion. Say, Hey, I tried this thing, or I read this book, or I watched this video and it really served me. Maybe you wanna check it out and then leave it alone. Walk away. You can't deprive someone of their bottom.

People need to hit their bottom when they are ready, and it's not your job to get in the way. You have to trust that the people in your life who are addicted or struggling actually have a higher power of their own. That they have guides of their [00:23:00] own, that they have angels watching over them and surrounding them and protecting them.

You don't have to make anything happen. You don't have to change them. You can let them experience the shift for themselves. The more you let go, the more you allow and allowing them to take the next right. Action is all you can do. From a spiritual perspective, you can pray for them. You can pray for them to have safety inside.

You can pray for them to find the recovery path. You can pray for them to have all the resources that they need. You can't force it and you can't save them. Dear Gabby, how do you stop beating yourself up when you slip back into an old pattern or coping mechanism that you swore that you'd outgrown? I love to say that in any given moment, we have the power to choose again.

So as soon as you fall back into that old pattern or behavior, you have a choice. You can beat yourself up, you can judge yourself. You can attack yourself. [00:24:00] You can go back deeper into the negative pattern or behavior with that negative momentum. Or you can choose to see yourself through the lens of compassion, through the lens of calmness and safety and forgiveness practice in those moments, just saying, I choose again.

In this moment, I can have a comeback. Remember when I say this, it's not about how perfect you are on your path to recovery. It's about how quickly you come back, how quickly you return to the healing practice, how quickly you return to the recovery group, how quickly you return to the meditation, how quickly you return to your prayer, how quickly you return to your commitments.

You're gonna fall off, you're gonna make mistakes. Even if you have sobriety and you string together 20 years like myself, there's plenty of mistakes I've made along the way. I may not have picked up a drink or a drug, but I've definitely picked up addictive behaviors, and so these patterns will happen.

You are human. You're going to fall backwards every single day. [00:25:00] I practice coming back fast. I make a commitment to come back fast. I think that's actually a really important message on the path of recovery in any form, because if you are going through this journey, you're gonna fuck up. You're gonna make mistakes.

You're gonna wish you hadn't said that or wish you hadn't done that, but every single day is a chance to forgive yourself. Every single day is a chance to make amends to someone else, to clean up your side of the street and to forgive yourself. Take that in.

As a mom, I've been very intentional about what goes into my child's body from the moment he was born. Becoming a mom at the age of 39 actually shifted how I thought about my health, my longevity. I really made sure that I was super focused on my wellbeing, but most importantly focused on the wellbeing of my son and when he was breastfeeding.

I had his hand went up at five months and I was like, uhoh, I've gotta, [00:26:00] I gotta switch now. And so I switched to formula and that's where Bobby comes in. And that's why I'm so proud to have Bobby as a sponsor today. Bobby supports every feeding journey with simple, organic, high quality formulas that bring their best to your best.

And Bobby just launched the first and only USDA organic whole milk infant formula manufactured in the us. And it's their closest recipe to breast milk yet. And it's made with premium whole milk fat, and fewer added oils to support smoother poops and brain development. I'm actually friends with the founder and I believe in her so deeply.

She's on such a massive mission and she has made this product that is so good. And if you're a mama who's just transitioning out of breastfeeding, or if you're struggling to breastfeed, you can trust Bobby. Bobby's available online and at retailers near you. Visit hi bobby.com. For a lot more information exclusively for our dear Gabby listeners, Bobby's offering an additional 10% off your purchase with code Gabby visit Hi bobby, H-I-B-O-B-B-I e.com [00:27:00] for more details.

That's hi bobby H-I-B-O-B-B-I e.com. Okay. Literally, I am. The best spokesperson for these sponsors. I am obsessed with this next one. This is perfect for fall. It's here and it is the perfect reset for your skin. Enter IRA store. As you've seen on tv, the IRA store Illumina face mask is a dermatologist recommended at home treatment with 360 medical grade LEDs and it uses red.

Infrared and blue light to target. Fine lines breakout, sun damage and inflammation. No complicated routine required, and I'm putting makeup on my face all the time. I'm constantly on camera and I have a lot of inflammation in my face, and I actually wake up very puffy at times. So the first thing I'll do is put my iris store mask on and instantly I feel like everything's drained. My face is no longer puffy, no longer red. I also have the Illumina neck and chest mask, which has 230 medical grade LEDs. [00:28:00] It is absolutely magnificent so you can give your skin the love it deserves. For limited time, get a huge discount on Ira. Restore Illumina Face Mask with code gabby@irastore.com.

That's code Gabby at I-R-E-S-T-O-R e.com for our exclusive offer on the IRA store. Illumina. Face mask. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you and unlock your best skin with Ira Restore. That's code Gabby at I-R-E-S-T-O-R e.com for our exclusive offer on the IRA Restore Illumina face mask.

So don't forget to check this out and check out their other deals and please support our show and tell them that we sent you. You guys, you guys, you guys, if you walked into my closet, there's one staple that does not leave my closet. It doesn't leave my closet. It's my brass. It's my underwear, it's my shapewear, it's my tank tops, it's my dresses.

It's skims, skims, skims, skims, ob su with skims. Guys, I, it's like butter on my body. Lately I have been wearing. Only [00:29:00] exclusively skims bras. Okay. And their fits everyone collection is. Replacing all of my old underwear just immediately. And there's, the collection is just like the perfect little crop tea and comfy underwear, and it's just literally like butter on your body.

And I've got the halter dresses that I just wear when I go on vacation. It's just all there. Even when I was on my book tour, I brought some of those halter dresses and I would just wear them in the hotel room when I was lounging around. Just the lounge wear. That's why they call it loungewear. Oh my God.

I just put it all together. Let me tell you something. I'm obsessed with skims, obsess. Obsess. I'm not sure if you saw my Instagram. I had this like full sh body suit that I was wearing under my dress for my live talk, and it was just like Gabby skims and I was saying mantras while I was wearing my skims outfit.

And the fits everybody. Collection is available and sizes extra, extra small to four x and you can shop now@skims.com and skim stores. After you place your order, be sure to let them know that I sent you select podcast in the survey. And be sure to select my show [00:30:00] in the dropdown menu that follows available in sizes for women, men, and kids.

I love this question. Dear Gabby. How can I connect to something greater than myself if I'm not religious, but I want to feel supported and guided? You have already done that. If you're listening to this podcast, you've already done it. You heard a call, you heard an inner wisdom that said, listen to that podcast.

And in listening to that, you said, I'm a yes. I'm a yes to heal. I'm a yes to thrive. I'm a yes, to feel good inside. I'm a yes to show up for myself, and that yes is a message to the universe. You've sent a radical message to the universe that there's possibility for hope. There's a possibility for change, that you can heal.

And by listening all the way through to this [00:31:00] point, you are radically sending a message to the universe that you're willing. And that willingness is all that's required to actually begin to open up a spiritual connection of your own understanding. Just having the willingness to say, I'm gonna turn this over today, or I'm gonna listen to something new, or I'm gonna open my mind to a loving perspective.

That is the development of a spiritual relationship. That is a moment where you say, I'm gonna stop trying. I'm gonna stop forcing, and I'm gonna start allowing. So the spiritual connection that you desire all begins when you just open your heart to be willing to see things differently, and you've already started.

Dear Gabby, what's one grounding practice I can use when I'm triggered, or even just as an overwhelming thought comes in? My favorite grounding practice when I'm triggered is a heart hold. I place my hand on my heart and my other hand on my belly, and I start to breathe in deeply and I exhale completely.

And I [00:32:00] repeat to myself, I am safe. I am safe. Do it with me now, please. Your hand on your heart and your hand on your belly, just repeat that affirmation. I am safe. I am safe. I'm safe. Opening your heart to that safety and security inside. This question's beautiful. Dear Gabby, how do I handle stress without turning to my default numbing mechanism?

So whether that's substances, scrolling, shopping, food, whatever, how do I handle the stress in the moment? Stress is a big trigger that's gonna send us into that protector part of numbing out. So I would suggest checking in with the stress. So the moment that you feel triggered, overwhelmed, or stressed, I want you to follow the four step check-in process.

In my book, Self-Help, the first step is to focus your attention inside and just notice the stress inside. [00:33:00] The second step is to be curious about the stress. So you're gonna ask the stress some questions. Where are you in my body? What do you feel like? What do I know about you? Are there any images or thoughts or sensations that are attached to the stress?

And once you have a little bit of connection to the stress, the third step is to compassionately connect, and you're gonna ask that stress part of you, what do you need? And then you're gonna give it some breath and listen to it. Then the final step is to just check in and see the shift inside. Notice if you feel more calm, notice if you feel more clear connected.

Notice if you have more creativity moving through you, or some courage to change or curiosity about that part of yourself. Anytime you get triggered, if you practice those four steps, you could actually put a practice in the place of the trigger and the response. The response is the addictive process, and the trigger is the [00:34:00] stress.

So if you just check in with the stress, you're putting a practice, a spiritual practice, a therapeutic practice, a self-help practice in place of the trigger, going into that response, which is the addiction. So that simple four steps can help you unwind the trigger. Get back to self. That self with a capital S, that calm presence inside that courageous, compassionate, clear presence inside and getting back into your higher self, into that energy of self.

You no longer need to go pick up the drink or the drug or the boyfriend or whatever it is that you're going after. These four steps have the power to help you stay off of that drug of choice by putting a practice in the place of the response. Try that. If you want more guidance on that, definitely check out my book, Self-Help.

This is your chance to change your life. Dear Gabby, how do I stop using my old patterns to feel safe and [00:35:00] start trusting that my life could actually be better than I imagine the entire conversation that we've had here today, this entire conversation. It's a conversation of taking small actions, taking little adjustments, making small daily adjustments to surrendering, to churning your focus inward rather than outside of yourself, to recognizing the willingness to have a relationship with a higher power, to choosing to look at your side of the street rather than blaming the outside world.

And as you start to add up these small right actions and these small miracle moments. The addiction starts to fade away. The energy behind the addictive pattern starts to shift. The urge to move into the poor behavior or the addiction starts to change. And you have a deeper level of compassion for the part of you that needs to be in that addict space in the first place.

And the more you tend to that part of yourself, and the more you [00:36:00] give it to the universe, the more you give it the connection to self, the more you offer it. Compassion. The more free it becomes, the more at ease it becomes the addiction and the negative habits that we have that make us stay in the chase are actually protection mechanisms from deeper wounded feelings.

So as we start to just give ourselves a little bit of attention inside, we start to offer our desires over. We start to connect to a spiritual relationship and feel that swell of love around us. That inner connection and that spiritual relationship are a security blanket that starts to hold us. Through the recovery and through the healing, then it's our job to pay attention to the signs and the synchronicities and the guidance that we're led to because in those moments of alignment with that love and that compassion inside, we start to open up our creative capacity to receive good, orderly direction.

God. We [00:37:00] start to receive the messages from the universe that this is the healing path, or this is the yoga teacher, or this is the therapist, or this is the recovery group, or this is the book that you need to read. And your job is just to be the witness of these synchronistic moments and then say yes to the guidance that you receive.

So one day at a time, focus your attention inward and establish a spiritual connection and establish a relationship to that self energy inside of you. And as you experience that shift inside. You'll be guided one step at a time towards the healing path. That is exactly what it needs to be at the exact right moment for you.

If you're struggling with addiction, that is there protecting you from trauma. I also wanna recommend my book, happy Days, the Guided Path from Trauma to Profound Freedom and Inner Peace. That book is a powerful book for addicts. It's a powerful book for people who have experienced trauma and are trying to numb it out.

And another one of my books that's very, very powerful for people who are [00:38:00] early days of addiction or codependency, I'm opening up to a spiritual connection, is my book, spirit Junkie. The Radical Road to self-love and miracles, and that's my second book and I highly recommend it. It's helped many people get sober.

So the three books that I think are gonna be the most valuable for you as you embark on this journey will be my book, Self-Help for really creating that daily practice of healing my book, happy Days to Guide You Through the Trauma Journey if you're healing trauma that's leading you towards addictive processes.

And my book Spirit Junkie to give you the spiritual connection and the empowerment. To set yourself on the right foot of a spiritual recovery. So it's my prayer that these messages today have really served you. They love you, and I hope you stick around for the miracles that unfold in your life as you stay consistent with these daily practices and spiritual moments of connection, and the willingness, that slight willingness [00:39:00] to change your life.

If you need more support on this journey, I wanna give you a practice that you can do right away, right here, right now. It's a guided meditation for calm and inner peace, and it's at dear gabby.com/anxiety. And you can have the link, it's gonna be in the show notes, and I'm gonna also list all the books and addiction recovery resources and additional support in the show notes as well.

Little spiritual pep talk. As you know, I have been in. Sober recovery now for almost 20 years at the time that I record this, and I gotta say the biggest thing is just taking it one day at a time. That's what I learned. That's what I learned. And so I wanna give you that message. Wherever you are on your own journey of spiritual recovery, that you're not doing anything wrong.

You're showing up one day at a time that you are brave for even just being on a spiritual path and choosing to turn inward. One day at a time, you're just choosing to be in a new [00:40:00] energy and a new way of living. And I know that's not easy, and I know that there's moments when you're gonna feel like, oh, this is too much.

I can't handle this, or I'm just gonna fall off. My spiritual practice is just failing. I'm not good enough. All the stories that we're gonna have, but I just want you to get back in and just give yourself that permission to just take it one day at a time. And you just can do that. Just give yourself permission to take it one day at a time.

Keep it in the day. Right here, right now. Just take a deep breath in place your hand on your heart. Give over your day. Don't try to control anything today. Just say, today I am surrendering it all and I'm taking my practice, my growth, my development, my manifestations, one day at a time. That's it. I love you and I'm proud of you.

So my friend, wherever you are right now, I want you to know you're not alone. I want you to know that as I sit here celebrating 20 years of sobriety, and I look back at that girl who was struggling and desperate, [00:41:00] I can tell her with confidence that she did everything right, but taking it one day at a time, that opening her heart to a faith beyond her logic and reason, that opening her mind to creative possibilities and strengthening her faith in the universe was all that she needed to do to get to living.

A life beyond her wildest dreams to living with a sense of unshakeable faith inside. This is available to you right now, so let me know if this message resonated with you. Share your experience of what it means to give your fear away just for today. I wanna be there to serve you and support you, and it's my prayer that this episode finds you right when you need it most.

It's my prayer that. You found this at a pinnacle turning point, and it's this message that guides you to take that small right action today to start to heal and to start to open your heart to more. [00:42:00] And if you have a loved one in your life that's struggling, that needs this message, share it with them.
Now, I want you to know I love you and I'm proud of you for being here, and I want you to know that all you have to do is make one small shift inside daily to truly have unshakable faith in the universe. And live a miraculous life. I love you.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you're truly committed to miracles. I'm really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new. Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience of this show means a lot to me, so I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media at Gabby Bernstein.

And if you wanna get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby, [00:43:00] live@deargabby.com. See you next week.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace.

I'm not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.