free meditation
photo of flowers

This week I’m sharing my most recent live talk, recorded in Toronto! The energy in the room was electric, and I am so excited to share it with you because I went deep into the art of surrendering control.

We’ve all been there—trying to force an outcome, obsessing over the timeline, and getting caught in “future tripping.” We “strangle” our desires because we’re terrified they won’t happen. But here is the truth I shared on stage: The Universe has three answers: Yes, Not right now, or Something better is on the way.

In this episode, I’m teaching you how to stop blocking that “something better.” I share the exact method to tune your frequency to fun—because when you’re having fun, the Universe moves quickly to support you.

I also walk you through a profound “Self Help” practice to befriend the parts of you that are scared, controlling, or judgmental, so you can return to your true nature: calm, confident, and courageous.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • The 24-Hour Surrender Experiment: A simple practice to give your worries to the Universe just for today.
  • The “Orange” Metaphor: A powerful lesson from Dr. Wayne Dyer on why we react the way we do under pressure.
  • How to “Check In” Instead of “Check Out”: A 4-step method to soothe your anxiety or addiction in the moment, rather than numbing out.

If you are ready to end this year strong and walk into the next one with total faith that you are being guided, press play. It’s time to let go of the plan and let the Universe show you what it’s got!

get more gabby

  • Join my 21-Day Manifesting Challenge! Hundreds of thousands of people have used this challenge to manifest their dream jobs, partners, and homes. This year, I’m including Gabby AI—it’s like having me as your personal coach in your pocket! Sign up now for $37
  • Read my #1 NYT Bestselling book: Self Help: This Is Your Chance to Change Your Life. 
  • If you feel you need additional support, please consult this list of safety, recovery and mental health resources. 
disclaimer

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

dear gabby #294 Dec 08, 2025 manifesting

stop blocking what’s meant for you (something great is on the way) | gabby bernstein

The following podcast  is a dear media production.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I'm your host Gabby Bernstein, and if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you're ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let's get started.

Welcome back to Dear Gabby, my friends, welcome back. Today I have a really, really special episode for you. I'm sharing a episode from a live talk that I did in Toronto, and it was such a magnetic high vibe night that I. Came home from Canada and I said to my team, we have got to share this on the podcast.

It is just so, so, so beautiful. And so if you're ready to end the year super strong, this is your episode, my friends. It's gonna bring in the new year in the most epic [00:01:00] way. And speaking of the new year, this is manifesting season my friends. And every single year I do this very incredible thing, which you might have heard about.

It is my 21 day manifesting challenge. I have taken. Over 200,000 people through this challenge. Just literally everywhere I go, I'm meeting people that are like, I did the manifesting challenge and I've got my dream home and my partner and my miracles don't stop happening in my life, and it's so epic. It is the manifesting challenge.

Plus you get Gabby AI inside so you can have. Gabby AI coaching you 24 7 starting now through the end of January, and it's all just $37. And that Gabby AI is very cool. Don't be scared. It's actually amazing. It's really like having me as your best friend because it's powered by 20 years of my work. And you've heard Gabby AI took a little bit here at times, so you're not gonna wanna miss.

So definitely head over to dear gabby.com/manifesting challenge to secure your spot. Again, that's dear [00:02:00] gabby.com/manifesting challenge, and it is only $37. It's less than a cup of coffee a day. It's less than like a cheap cup of coffee a day to give yourself the setup that you need to really energetically align with what you want and then become a magnet for it.

I am psyched to see you in there guys. And thank you so much for listening today 'cause this is such a beautiful community. I just get so many messages from people all over the world that they love this show and I'm so proud of it and we're doing some unbelievable stuff coming up in the new year, so get psyched for it.

Let this show light you up today, and then we'll bring it home with the manifesting challenge. Starting January 1st, 20 years ago, I sat on the floor of my studio apartment in New York City and 20 years, almost to the day, to the month, and I said, God, universe, I need a miracle. [00:03:00] I needed to get off the floor. I needed to put down the drink. I needed to put down the drugs I needed to trust in something beyond my logic and my reason and my will.

I needed to open up to a spiritual connection because that was the only thing that would save me, and that was the time I got sober 20 years ago this month.

It is also the time where I made the commitment to lean into a spiritual practice and the commitment to decide that I was gonna see my life. With more possibility and grace, the decision to unlearn the fears of my past and reclaim the spiritual truth of who I am and the decision to trust in the universe.

And that decision is a decision I've made one day at a time for 20 years. One day at a time, humbly surrendering to a [00:04:00] power greater than myself and trusting that there was more for me than what I could see and what I could control and what I think I needed, and the future tripping of what I started to put out there, and all of the chaos there was so much more for me.

There's so much more for every single one of us. So no matter where you are in this room right now, no matter what's going on for you, whether you're struggling financially, whether you're struggling with your physical health, whether you're struggling with a relationship, whether you're looking at your life and you're thinking, is this it?

No matter where you are right now, there is so much more available to you when you crack yourself open to the infinite possibilities of what a spiritual relationship is. Are you ready for that?
And the only thing really blocking us from that spiritual relationship is the misguided belief that we can control [00:05:00] the future. 

Take that in.  Let's just do a little experiment. You guys know that thing that you've been strangling, right? That desire that you've been future tripping, or the thing you think you need.

If I don't have that thing, who am I? When will I get that thing or that manifestation that you just so deeply have to attract into your life or that worry that you have on repeat, that you keep repeating and repeating. You know what I'm talking about, right? That thing you're holding onto that future tripping.

All right, let's do a little experiment. For the next 24 hours, I want you to give it away just for the day, 24 hours. Just take that desire, take that fear, take that worry, take that thing that you're trying to control and just offer it up to the universe. We're gonna do it through a prayer. Offer it up and just say, thank you, universe for taking this from me.[00:06:00] 

Show me where to go and what to do. Do it with me right now.  Just place your hand on your heart and your hand on your belly, and just take a deep breath in and take that thing that you've been controlling, the outcome, the worry, the fear, the desire, the person, and offer it up just for 24 hours starting now. Thank you universe for taking this from me. I welcome, what is it the highest? Good for all. 

Show me where to go and what to do. Take a deep breath in and let that go.
And when you're ready, open your eyes. How does that feel?
How does that feel?[00:07:00] 

Did anybody feel relief just for the day, right? You can do that for today. You can do that. So throughout tonight, and then until tomorrow, all the way till tomorrow night, it's six, it's seven 40, whatever it is you are gonna notice whenever that worry comes up and you're gonna be like, oh, Gabby told me to give it away.

Thank you universe for taking this from me and offer it up. And then it's gonna come up a little bit later and you're gonna say, oh, Gabby told me to give that away. Thank you universe for taking this from me, and just give it over again. And you're gonna consistently stay in that energy and that flow of just noticing and then saying, oh, I'm giving it away just for today.

You can do anything for one day. You can do anything for one day. Okay, just for today, I can offer this up and I want you to keep returning to it. And then tomorrow night, right before you go to bed, I want you to take a journal out. And I want you to notice how different your day was. I want you to really document the [00:08:00] moments where you felt relief, the moments where you felt inner peace, the moments where you felt just like you had more energy, or you felt like you were experiencing more synchronicities or more support, or you intuitively knew what to do and you felt less blocked.

Document it and if it goes well for you, which it will. Know that you can do it again the next day, give it away just for the day. I do this all the time. In fact, I think it's part of the reason why I'm standing here still 20 years sober, because I kept it in the day. One day at a time, I turned over my will.

One day at a time. I asked for a miracle. One day at a time I surrendered and I surrendered more. In that surrender, I found myself just opening my heart to new ways of healing and new ways of awakening, and a new way of bettering [00:09:00] and shining the crystal, which I still do every single day. You don't stop and the more you turn over your desires and your fears and your worries, and you give them away, the less you believe you have control over them.

And the more you start to feel in your body that there is a presence beyond your physical sight that is guiding you, supporting you, and directing you, and that when you're not in that place of strangling your desires or your worries or your future, you're free. And in that freedom, you hear intuitive ideas and you know, I, I gotta walk into that room right now.

And that's where you meet your husband. Or you know, you know what, this is no longer the right job for me, and you don't know why, but you let it go and then that great opportunity opens up for you. You're listening. You're listening, you're listening, and you're living a guided life. Living a guided life. I mean, I think we [00:10:00] block it so often.

How many of you have said lately or at any time this past year, not having fun? I have. So we've had those moments where we're like, it's not fun anymore. What's going on? I'm not having fun. And the truth is, is when we're not having fun, we're really out of alignment with that spiritual presence. But can you remember the last time that you were having so much fun?

You were just not thinking about anything else, and then boom, that thing that you wanted fell into your lap, or the idea sparked, or the creative vision came forward for you, or something just fell into place. Does anyone have those experiences? Miracles happen when you're having fun, so I want you to ask yourself, what can I do to have more fun?

I was coming here and I was like, you know what, Robin, wouldn't it be Robin, my friend that was out here introducing me so beautifully. I said, wouldn't it be fun if you just came to Toronto with me for the night? And she was like, yes, that would be so [00:11:00] fun. And then the last six hours of us being here. So we woke up at four 30 in the morning, got on the plane, came here.

We've had a lot of fun. We took a nap. We had lunch, we went to the gym, we walked around. We got chicken. Like we were having fun. And then she's backstage getting her makeup done with my makeup done with the beautiful Robin, the makeup artist. There's lots of robins in the room, like we're having fun. And then that gave me the energy to come out here and be with you and bring a higher vibe than I might have otherwise if I wasn't in such a high vibration with my friend.

So wouldn't it be fun? If I brought my friend with me, wouldn't it be fun if I went for a walk and just looked at the sunset? Wouldn't it be fun if I decided not to do that thing that I always do in the evening and do something different? Wouldn't it be fun if I put my phone down?

I say it to [00:12:00] myself too. I wanna talk about confidence. You know that I believe that when you align your energy, you feel super powerful and you feel confident. But something that I've noticed a lot lately with some of my female friends that are going through menopause and perimenopause are just maybe postpartum, they are seeing thinning hair and that can really, really stress somebody out.

And it can also. Really mess up your confidence, and so I've been really, really passionate about a product. This is the Ira Restore Elite, and it has been a game changer for me and for my hair. It is this at-home system designed to fit right into my self-care routine. Thra Restore Elite is clinically proven to help regrow hair using.

30 lasers and 20 LEDs that send light therapy directly to your scalp. And it's super lightweight. It's hands free, and it's really simple. So I often pop it on when I'm just unwinding or just trying to read a book or relax. And the [00:13:00] technology behind this is advanced. The Iris store Elite is using trademark vixo TM lasers, and it's the only device on the market with triple wavelength technology that penetrates deeper for maximum follicle.

Stimulation. And so if you wanna boost your results even more, pair the elite with the revive and max growth kit and revive biotin gummies that are really delicious and they also are really great for your hair. So the best part I restore offers a 12 month money back guarantee. So you can try it risk free.

Holidays means that get togethers, photos and wanting to look and feel. Your best IRA store is there to help you and they have a big seasonal savings happening all month long. So with Code Dear gabby@irastore.com, you can unlock an exclusive discount on the IRA store Elite. That's Dear gabby@irastore.com.

That's I-R-S-T-O-R e.com. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. The hunt for the perfect holiday gift is over people. It's over. I've got you covered. Aura Frames is the [00:14:00] absolute best solution. It's technology that honors human connection. I love this so much. I'm getting it from my in-laws.

Don't tell them aura frames is the perfect solution because you can't wrap togetherness, but you can frame it. Aura frames are renowned for their meticulously calibrated high resolution. Plays. So your photos look like real prints, and they were even named the number one digital picture frame by Wirecutter.

So you know that the quality is really exceptional and the genius is that it's so simple. It only takes two minutes to set up with your Aura app, and you can preload photos before it ships and even add personalized messages before it arrive. And this makes the gifting process super effortless, making it look like you planned it all along and the connection continues longer after the gift is given because you can share photos and videos effortlessly straight from your phone all year long.

And the frame supports live photos and videos up to 30 seconds. So this is like the absolute perfect grandparent gift. You guys do not miss this one. This is the gift that keeps on giving and even comes with a gift box included. So for limited time, save on the [00:15:00] perfect gift by visiting Aura Frames.

That's a URA. F-R-A-M-E s.com and you can get $35 off or as bestselling carver map frames named number one by Wirecutter, by using promo code Gabby at checkout. That's a URA frames.com promo code Gabby. And this deal's exclusive to our listeners and frames sell out super fast. So order yours now to get it in time for the holidays and support the show by mentioning us at checkout.

And so this is your lesson, guys. You have these desires. You have this desire for a spiritual relationship. You want to trust the universe. We now know we have to give it away, and we now know we have to have a lot more fun. But then there's a lot of things that get in the way of that fun. And oftentimes the things that get in the way of that fun are the people that piss us off the most.

Do you know what I'm talking about? A while back, I got this text from my husband.[00:16:00] 
And it was actually a video. There was nothing but this link to the video. And it was, the video was a message for me. And the video was a video of my late mentor and friend, Dr. Wayne Dyer. Yes. And Wayne was holding an orange, and he had this orange in his hand, and he said to this audience of people that he had in front of him, he said.

No matter how hard I squeeze this orange, what's gonna come out? Orange juice. He says, I could squeeze it so hard and nothing else is coming out, but orange juice. He said, why? Because it's an orange. Orange juice comes out of an orange. He then extended the metaphor and said, well, what would happen if someone squeezes you?

What might come out of you? And people said, anger, rage, frustration, silence, anxiety. [00:17:00] And he said, yeah, what comes out of you is what's inside of you.

And you have to remember, my husband sent that to me.

What comes out of us is what is an unhealed wound that still lives inside of us? Anytime that we have these moments of witnessing ourself and saying, I don't know what happened, but a part of me just took over. Anybody had that experience, a part of me just took over. It's because a part of you literally just took over.

A young burdened part of you that feels unlovable, inadequate, ignored, gaslit, not good enough. They're very young parts of us. We've exiled these parts of us and then we pick up these protection mechanisms. And when those exiled young parts of us that are probably as young as we can remember, far, far back, maybe even babies, [00:18:00] when they get triggered, these young little people inside of us, the protection mechanisms come out.

I have one called Knives Out. She's a lot better now. You wouldn't have wanna meet her like five years ago. I've got a controller part. You know, the controller part will come out, or I've got the defensive part that will come out. And these parts, why are they there? Because they were the only way we could numb the pain of feeling inadequate, unlovable, the terror of trauma. If we had it as children, the feelings of being ignored or not loved, not good enough.

And so we've been protecting ourselves for a really long time. Everybody tracking that with me? Yeah. And those protection mechanisms block us from our spiritual source, our self-energy, the energy of the presence of calmness, the energy of the presence of clarity, curiosity, [00:19:00] connection, confidence, courage, creativity, and that self energy is our spirit energy.

But when we're so burdened by these protectors, we're burdened by the beliefs and the fears of the world, and we forget the self-energy and the spiritual connection that we have, but that self-energy never left us. It's like an internal healer inside of us and inner parent ready to soothe us, and all we have to do is check in instead of checkout.

What I'm teaching you right now is Internal Family Systems Therapy, which I devoted my 10th book. Self-Help To Self-Help is my greatest manifesting book. Self-Help is my most spiritually aligned book, not at face value. It's called [00:20:00] Self-Help. It's about a therapy. You might think, well, that's not for me. I just want like, gimme the Universe has your back like super attractor.

That's my book. This book, if Practiced, has the power to realign you with your spiritual source. Because what this book does is it allows you to get into a friendship. You befriend these young parts of yourself instead of. Hating them or judging them or forcing them to be something different. You know those parts of yourself.

Everybody familiar with a part of themself that sort of gets a little overreactive at times? Anyone? Yes. Who are those parts? Guys talk to me. No, but what are they like? Are they angry? Like are they raging? What are they scared? Self-deprecating, insecure. Controlling. I got that one. Yeah. 

Lonely, irritable, [00:21:00] judgmental is a big one. They're addicted. Sometimes they're suicidal. These are protection mechanisms, and these protector parts work on hard drive. They're just working all day long. The second they get triggered, it's like the protectors come up, and so the process that I created. I became trained in this therapy because it healed my life and I became very close friends with the man who founded the therapy.

His name is Dr. Richard Schwartz, and Dick gave me the greatest gift of my life other than my son and my husband, which is he trusted me to take his 45 year. Therapy that has healed countless people and helped people restore themselves from trauma and resurrect their lives, and he trusted me to turn it into a self-help practice so that you could use it so that you could experience the gift of it.

So that you [00:22:00] could not have to go to that therapy, but maybe be guided because you loved the practice or not just do the self-help work. The reason it's called self-help is because inside of us is self. The internal parent, the internal healer, and when we access self, self can help the internal family of parts inside.

So instead of talking to you more about it, I want you to experience it. Instead of checking out with that protector part, even me talking about these protectors right now, might have some of your protectors being like, I'm gonna go get a popcorn. Come back after that. I One more manifesting the protectors don't like this conversation, so I'm gonna guide you gently through the four step process in a meditation and the four step process is a gentle inquiry.

Align yourself. Connect, curious connection, compassionate connection to these [00:23:00] young parts inside. So you can gently close your eyes. We can bring the music in and think about that protection mechanism in your life. The part of you that kind of runs the show. Maybe it's addicted, maybe it's angry. Maybe it's afraid perfectionist plays small.

And focus your attention inside right now towards that part, inside. Notice where it lives in your body.
And breathe deeply and exhale completely.[00:24:00] 
And what does it feel like inside your body?
What do you know about it?
Are there any thoughts? Or images or sensations that come to your mind when you connect more closely inside. Just be curious and breathe. And now with a little bit of connection to this part of you.

Let's offer some compassion asking that part of you right now.  What do you need?[00:25:00] 
What do you need? And listen, just listen. And now take a deep breath in and extend that breath inside to that part.

And as you extend that breath inside, notice any shifts inside your body. Notice if you feel a little bit more calm.

Or a little bit more connected notice if you have any compassion towards this part of you, or if you have more clarity about it, and place your [00:26:00] hand on your heart one more time and let the part know. That you're here and that you can check in again and take one last deep breath in and release.
And when you're ready, open your eyes to the room.

How do you feel? How do you feel? Do you feel calm? Does anybody feel compassion towards that part of themself? Yep. Anyone have more clarity about what that part needs right now? Do you have more clarity [00:27:00] about that part of you in general? Yeah. Do you feel curious about it? Do you wanna get to know it a little bit more?

Do you feel the courage to maybe know more? Somebody over here really had a good experience.
This episode is brought to you by Neiman Marcus. The holidays are my time for alignment, downtime, connection, relaxing, but I get stressed out guys. I get super stressed out about gifting. I really kind of freak out, and that's why I am relying on Neiman Marcus for all of my gift giving because they're curating this perfect gifting experience for me.

And at Neiman Marcus, there's truly something special for everyone. They've got this incredible collection that spans every category from. Covetable bags to stunning jewelry, to elegant timepieces, to chic children's toys. And you can find gourmet goodies for hosts and for your ultimate beauty [00:28:00] must haves.

They've got you covered, and they even solve the toughest challenge, the impossible to shop for friends and family issues that we get hit with. And I love browsing their holiday gift guides. And of course, they have their legendary fantasy gifts. Those one of a kind items that truly surpass every expectation, and that's why I always love to turn to Neiman Marcus because shopping there doesn't just feel like running an errand.

It feels like an experience. So if you're in need of a little direction, the Neiman Marcus style advisors make finding that perfect gift at every price. So easy, they're gonna put you in the right price point, put you in the right direction, and completely effortlessly make your season of gifting fun. So if you're looking for gifts that are guaranteed to surprise and delight, head to Neiman Marcus.

That's where meaningful gifting is truly elevated. As a mom, I've been very intentional about what goes into my child's body from the moment he was born. Becoming a mom at the age of 39 actually shifted how I thought about my health, my longevity. [00:29:00] I really made sure that I was super focused on my wellbeing, but most importantly focused on the wellbeing of my son and when he was breastfeeding.

I had his hand went up at five months and I was like, uhoh, I've gotta, I gotta switch now. And so I switched to formula and that's where Bobby comes in. And that's why I'm so proud to have Bobby as a sponsor today. Bobby supports every feeding journey with simple, organic, high quality formulas that bring their best to your best.

And Bobby just launched the first and only USDA organic whole milk infant formula manufactured in the us. And it's their closest recipe to breast milk yet. And it's made with premium whole milk fat, and fewer added oils to support smoother poops and brain development. I'm actually friends with the founder and I believe in her so deeply.

She's on such a massive mission and she has made this product that is so good. And if you're a mama who's just transitioning out of breastfeeding, or if you're struggling to breastfeed, you can trust Bobby. Bobby's available [00:30:00] online and at retailers near you. Visit hi bobby.com. For a lot more information exclusively for our dear Gabby listeners, Bobby's offering an additional 10% off your purchase with code Gabby visit Hi bobby, H-I-B-O-B-B-I e.com for more details.

That's hi bobby H-I-B-O-B-B-I e.com. This is a practice I do five times a day. I do it in depth in my therapy weekly. And it's my practice of recognizing that the spiritual essence that I long for is always there. That self with a capital S is there, but my job is to release the blocks to the presence of that self. So for 20 years, I've been on a mission.

Of releasing the blocks to the presence [00:31:00] of that self and this practice of internal family systems therapy was the thing that really skyrocketed my healing so much so that now I have such a beautiful relationship with these parts inside that I can witness them super activated and take care of them right away.

Because by doing this spiritual work and being in the self-help practice does not mean that you're perfect. It does not mean that you don't act out. It does not mean that you don't get triggered. It just means that you come back fast. It means that you have the tools at your fingertips to access, and it does mean that you do feel better and better and better and better.

It means that you can take care of your side of the street. I spoke at a recovery meeting last night. I qualified and um, I sat in the, you know, these rooms that saved my life [00:32:00] and I was sharing on one of the steps, which is the ninth step, which is to make amends. And I talked about how in the last week where I wasn't even thinking about it, I was coming to give a qualification about making amends, and I had some spontaneous amends that happened to me over that past week.

And I also realized that the greatest amends that I had been able to make was the amends I've made to myself, taking care of myself, loving myself. Giving myself spiritual food, therapeutic support. So when we practice a practice like these four steps and we choose to check inside. Instead of check out and binge on YouTube and check out and eat the food and check out and pick up the drink and check out and smoke the weed, or check out and call the boyfriend, whatever it is, we choose to check in instead.

Or [00:33:00] after we do the misguided thing and we've acted out, we choose to check in instead of hate ourselves more, and we check in and we check in and we check in. And the more we check in, the more self-energy starts to bubble up. The more calm we feel. Self is these C qualities. The more courageous we are, the more creative we are, the more clear we are, the more compassionate we are, the more confident we are, the more courageous we are in any given moment.

These C qualities emerge naturally because they are who we are. We've just blocked it. Let yourself off the hook for having those protectors. 'cause guys, they've been doing a real good job. They've been keeping you safe. They've been keeping things under control. As I shared last night in the meeting, I said, I'm so proud of my addict part, my 25-year-old who got sober, that she was using drugs and alcohol, and she did the best she could to stay alive.

To survive. She was pushing down some [00:34:00] serious trauma. She would do whatever it took to numb the pain. While I didn't wanna live in that extreme role, I'm proud of her. And so I ask you right now, are you willing, and you guys answered me, are you willing to heal? I know they answered yes. You wouldn't be here if it wasn't, unless somebody dragged you here and you're like, I think so.

Are you willing to go  to any length to heal? How many of you read self-help? Okay. Okay. How many of you read The Universe Has Your Back? Yeah. Pick up self-help, not because I want you to buy the book because the Universe Has Your Back, is an epic book and I love, it's so deeply and it's my favorite book I've ever written, but it's. It's a lot less sexy to pick up a book that has bright red letters that says [00:35:00] self-help.

And then to open it and be like, I gotta do some work. Freedom is on the other side. My friends freedom is on the other side, and sometimes the spiritual practice is another protector. Sometimes we use our spiritual practice to bypass, to spiritually bypass, though it's really happening inside. And I believe our spiritual practice is a guide towards the deeper work.

It's my girl taking you home with me. The spiritual practice is a guide towards the deeper work. The spiritual practice creates a safer baseline. The spiritual practice has created faith in the universe and a wild understanding of synchronicities and support and energy. It's valuable, but then there's a next level.

Are you ready to up level Toronto? You're ready to uplevel.[00:36:00] 

This is the Uplevel. It's not sexy. I was thinking about the book cover. The book cover says Self-help in big letters, and now I was always like, you know what? They can always take the jacket off if they want to and just read it. But then I was thinking about the paperback and I was like, uhoh, what am I gonna do with the paperback?

Then I thought maybe I would write self-help. Really tiny. How funny would that be? I get a kick outta myself. Okay, so pick up the book. This book heals. It heals whenever I meet people, and I'm been on the road this year and they said, I read self-help. I'm like, you're a rock star. You're a rock star. Those are the same people that read Judgment Detox.

So don't shame yourself if you're not ready for it. You might just wanna read it and not do it yet. You might just be like, I'm not ready for it at all. Okay? You meet it when you're ready. You read it when you need it, but this practice is broken out like this. You notice when you're activated, maybe it's three days later, maybe it's the night after.

Maybe it's right in the moment. You notice, [00:37:00] uh oh, there's that part again. It's right there. It's right next to me. It's inside of me. It's freaking out. I wanna lose my mind, and you maybe step away, or maybe the next night or the afternoon, you check in with it. So instead of checking out, the ways that we check out would be to do the rage, to go to the fridge, to pick up the drink.

Instead of checking out, you'd choose to check in step one. Choose to check in inside, so you focus your tension inside. That's it. Step two is you become curious and you start asking the parts some questions, okay, where are you in my body? What do you feel like? Notice if there's any sensations or energy about it, or any thoughts or memories, images.

I'm gonna ask you, how old are those parts of you? Children young, as long as you can remember. You could even ask like, when did you show up? Get curious. That's step [00:38:00] two. Step three is to compassionately connect. Compassionately connect. That's when you ask the part, what do you need? What do you  need?  When was the last time you asked yourself, what do you need?
What do I need? Anyone? One person.

And then the final step is to check for self. So you'll check and you'll say, do I feel more calm? Do I have more clarity? Do I feel courageous? Do I feel compassion towards the part? Do I feel connected to that part? Do I feel more confident in this moment? Do I feel like I have the creative energy buzzing inside of me?

These see qualities emerge naturally when we check inside, and so this is the greatest spiritual [00:39:00] work. Why? Because when you tend to the young parts of yourself inside. You let these parts know that there's safety within, and when you create that safe baseline, that self-energy emerges naturally. There's a beautiful quote from a IFS teacher practitioner.

He said that self is like the sun behind the clouds, and when the clouds dissipate, the self energy emerges naturally like the sun. Imagine if you could walk through life knowing that. No matter how far you go down the road of negativity or fear or addiction, that you'd always know where to turn, that there was always safety.

There was always calmness. There was always compassion. There was always a connection. There was always the internal parent that you never had. 

How different would your life be? [00:40:00] Pretty different. I  welcome you guys tonight to consider this when we do the q and a. I wanna check in with you guys about this because these relationships inside are our spiritual relationship.

We come here as spirits, having a human experience to experience the difficult moments so that we can unlearn those moments and remember the light and the love and the self of who we are. And each moment of memory is a miracle. Each time we shift from that fear to love, each time we release the separation from that love and we connect more closely to the presence of self inside, that is a miracle.
And so even if you just had the slightest molecule of calmness tonight when we did the meditation, that is a miracle. You with me?

And I'll be interested to see where you are in a week from now, [00:41:00] but my suggestion would be for the next seven days notice when you wanna check out and check in. Instead, focus your attention inward. Become curious about the part of yourself that wants to check out. Compassionately connect and ask, what do you need?

And then check and see if self energy is present for the next seven days. Try this, try it, and you're gonna begin to see the magic of the universe start to unfold. When you live in this way, you start to feel more free, and then these experiences start to unfold and you start to trust the universe more.

You have more faith. You've transcended your fears, and that faith becomes real. And you start to trust that the universe really does have my back. The universe has three responses. Three. Just three. Yes. Like a hell yes. Not now. [00:42:00] Where something way better is on the way.

So don't underestimate the moments when it doesn't work out. A girlfriend of mine is actually my makeup artist in Los Angeles. I was doing my makeup in LA and I was talking to her and I was telling her a little bit about my talk that I was preparing and she said, oh my God, that happened to me. And I said, what do you mean?

She said, you know, I was walking to my car in LA and I was feeling like there was a guy near my car and I was really stressing me out and it was kind of freaking me out. And I asked this woman to drive next to me and then I got there and he ran off and he'd slashed my tires. Know in la, like you can't get to work without your tires, right?

So she's like so pissed. And then she realizes that she'd been told like six, seven months ago that she needed to change her tires. The universe changed them. For her.

The obstacles are [00:43:00] detours. The moments when it doesn't work out is because something better is on the way. I live my life like this 90% of the time. It feels so freaking good guys. I literally will look at something and I'll say, oh, that didn't work out. Thank you universe. Thank you universe. What's meant for me will come to me and it will be very clear and what's not meant for me will be removed from me quickly.

Thank you. And just open your heart to living in that way where you're just in the wonder of Yeah, it's a hell yes. It's a not now, but, or maybe there's something better. Maybe there's something better. You're always being guided. You're always being directed. You just have to lean into that truth. Remember that truth, activate that truth, and the universe would not plant your desires in your heart unless it was for a reason.

So even if it doesn't show up exactly as you planned, or even if you're not feeling the experience that [00:44:00] you wanna feel immediately, you have to trust that you're part of a journey, you're part of an awakening, you're part of a guided path, and to enjoy the journey along the way. It wasn't easy starting out.

I'm sure all of you in this room when you first broke down or hit your own bottom and you've started your spiritual practice, those days are hard and they're feeling maybe fearful or uncertain. As time goes on, it gets a little bit easier and a little bit more connected, and you feel more aligned, and then alignment starts to feel more real and that truth starts to take over and you program your mind to remember that you can live in this world, but think with the thoughts of love.

And that there is a gentler, softer way. There's a beautiful message from, of course, in miracles. There's a way of living in the world that is not here, though it seems to be. You do not change appearance, but you smile more frequently and your eyes are soft and your forehead is serene. I [00:45:00] want that for you.

I know you can have it. I am your hope Merchant tonight. I know it's yours. I'm believing it for you. 
I'm seeing it for you. This is your chance to change your life. You ready for that? Toronto.

So we talked about a lot. We have these beautiful moments where we have to recognize, okay. It is this or something better. We wanna have fun along the way. We wanna give our desires and our fears and our worries over just for one day. We can choose to check in for seven days in a row. We can start today, right here, right now.

Begin the journey. Begin [00:46:00] again. If anyone's in this room and they've fallen off, there's spiritual practice, now they're back. It's. Welcome back. We begin again. We begin again. We begin again. Choose again. Choose again. Every given moment is an opportunity to choose again, realign your energy and reclaim your light.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you're truly committed to miracles. I'm really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode, make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me, so I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media at Gabby Bernstein.

And if you wanna get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby, live@deargabby.com. See you next week. [00:47:00] 

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I'm not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.