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Watch or listen to this episode of Dear Gabby, where I reveal the 4 biggest manifesting blocks and share a manifesting story of my own (that will blow your mind!)

Happy New Year! This New Year is extra special to me because I just released my 10th book, Self Help, This is Your Chance to Change your Life. 

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Self Help is the ultimate guide to unlocking SELF energy— your own inner healer. This is the energetic state that heals old patterns and creates space for manifesting your biggest dreams.

Learn how to change the habits that block you from attracting your desires. 

👉 Order Self Help today to unlock Self energy—the greatest resource of your life.

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disclaimer

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

dear gabby #241 Jan 06, 2025 manifesting

the transformative power of my new book self help

[00:00:00] The following podcast is a dear media production.

Hey there. Welcome to dear Gabby. I'm your host, Gabby Bernstein. And if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you're ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let's get started.

Hello, my friend. Happy, happy, happy new year. I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and I am coming into the new year. Hot. Coming in hot for 2025. Here I am. I'm about to go out on a book tour. My new book, Self Help, This is Your Chance to Change Your Life, just came out last week. You can get it at any bookstore, wherever you go.

Go grab a copy. It is incredible. I'm going to be teaching you a lot of it this month on the podcast. What's most exciting is that I am kicking off the new year with epic talks. Talks called This is Your Chance to Change Your Life. That's right. It's a [00:01:00] brand new talk I've never given before, and it's going to teach you the exact method that you need to completely transform the beliefs that are blocking you from manifesting the life you really want.

There is absolutely no better talk to attend in January than this one. So I'm going to be heading over on January 10th to Town Hall in New York City, and then Los Angeles. I'm going to be there on the 14th, and San Francisco on the 16th. I'll be in Boston on February 27th, and there's more dates. Plus I'm going to Mexico City, Australia, London, Dublin, But really, if you are listening to this and you're in the U.S., come meet me in LA, New York, or San Francisco this month.

Go to DearGabby.com/events to grab your tickets now. Again, that's DearGabby.com/events. I'll see you there. Welcome, Josh, to the show. So exciting. Amazing. This is the week that my 10th book is released into the world.

Self help. This is your chance to change your life. I know I said it on Monday, but I can't believe it. It's so amazing. And congratulations. Thank you. So you've really watched me through [00:02:00] this journey of this book. And you actually put together, Josh put together some really hot questions for me today about the book, about the writing process, about the promises of this book.

And today I want to really. give you sort of a Gabby pep talk that is designed to help the listener, help you guys listening to really accept and embrace the power that you have to change your life. I can say that and I can own that and I can claim that and I can put that as the subtitle of the book.

This is your chance to change your life because I'm living that. And I've come to understand that the absolute clearest path to changing your life is by looking inward and really connecting to the beliefs that you've carried for your lifetime and helping to heal those belief systems. That is the message of this book.

That's the promise of this book. I'm going to say it again and again. We manifest what we believe and our belief systems that we've been carrying [00:03:00] for our lifetime are simply the blocks to what it is that we want to attract in our life. The freedom, the happiness, the joy, the peace. Right now we're in the first week of the new year.

Everyone's got these big dreams and goals. And I think you probably know what those desires are. And the next thing I would ask you to ask yourself is what's blocking? What belief is blocking me from those desires? And that's the big question I'm going to keep asking people this year. What is the belief?

that's blocking you from these desires. That's really the core message here. We manifest what we believe, the beliefs that have held us back that we've had for a lifetime can be healed in the pages of self help. This is your chance to change your life. Self help. Amazing. So let's start with what are the three promises then of the book, would you say?

Okay, perfect. So promise number one is that you can. heal those beliefs that have been blocking you. And there's a four step method in this book that is [00:04:00] easy to apply, and it is profound in its ability, the four step practice has an ability to really reprogram your experience of your beliefs. That's promise number one.

That's that you can start to manifest what you want into your life by healing the belief systems. Number two, you have your own inner healer. You don't have to wait for anyone else to save you. This is something I've been learning very, very intimately. No one out there is going to save you from what is unhealed inside.

So the second promise is that you have your own inner healer. When you start to practice the four steps in this book of connecting to those belief systems that have held you back and compassionately connecting to them, your inner healer, your self with a capital S, your resource self starts to emerge naturally and will start to help serve your inner [00:05:00] experience so that you start to feel like you have the power within to feel safer and calmer and more at ease.

And the third promise is that you can actually change patterns and behaviors that have been really blocking you. So addictive patterns and negative habits or destructive behaviors or extreme patterns, or even just sort of unwanted patterns and feelings, even like anxiety and pain in your back. These kinds of patterns and experiences can change when you commit to the practices inside this book.

It's a book filled with lessons and messages, but there's really only one practice. It's a four step check in practice, and it's about connecting, choosing to check inward instead of checking out, becoming curious about the beliefs and parts of you inside that are blocking you from what you want, offering compassion to those parts of you, and then witnessing the shift.

Those are the three promises of this book. I love that. And, [00:06:00] you know, for me personally, it's amazing because each time you say it, it goes in deeper and deeper. And that's, I think actually one of the things about the book that I love is that with each chapter, it just reinforces the message and it reinforces the practice.

And you can't really, I don't wanna say you can't escape it. I don't mean to say it like that, but like it's, it's just there. It's just keep coming back, rinse and repeat. Correct. And that's really the message. You know, I think that the best spiritual teachers, or best teachers in general are the teachers that repeat themselves a lot.

Yes. Because you think you've learned something and once you think you've learned it, you need to hear it again. Youo.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, you and I are studying Spanish. We have to go back daily. A lot of the lessons are repeated and I'm every day kind of like, well, did I remember that one yet? Or that word? It takes a while for the word to [00:07:00] really settle. Same goes particularly for personal development. Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat. Yes, and I know we have several questions, but I want to ask you like when you say check in and instead of check out Can you give me an example of like how people check out?

I think I know how I do How do you think you check out? I literally feel like someone has taken a dial and like sort of turned me down and I just like Like, and then I'll just like, you know, well, you know, I like to watch TV, but there's a difference between when I'm checking out watching TV and when I'm actively watching television because I want to see this program, if that makes sense.

A hundred percent. So your husband calls you Mike TV, right? And your habit of, of tuning out with television is a hundred percent a protection mechanism, which is what we talk about in the book. And it is definitely a form of checking out. Whenever we're not present, when we're in a more [00:08:00] activated state or a numbed out dissociated state or we're, we're in a, in a reactive way, really these moments that we check out are connected to triggers.

And so we feel an undesirable feeling that is very young. It's like a long time that we've had that feeling. It gets spiked by a person, place or thing. Here we are. Oop. There's that feeling again. We don't want to feel that feeling. Yeah. So we check out. For me, checking out is kind of going into control mode.

We all are familiar with her or going into just fix it mode. I'll just do it. I'll fix it. Very destructive patterns, very destruct or sometimes rage. You know, rage is a big one lately when I even actually going through menopause, the rage part is even stronger. 'cause you just, when you go through menopause, you actually have zero S to give anymore.

Like there's no more s to give. So. the parts are actually even more extreme, which in a way is kind of cool because these, these ways we check out, the more extreme they become, the more aware we are of them. [00:09:00] They're the, for the more likely we are to heal them. Right? So it's not awareness of the ways we check out.

Isn't a bad thing. It's a good thing because it allows us to say, Oh, I got to listen to what Gabby's suggesting here. Let me pick up that book. Let me do some self help, find my own inner healer and help myself in those moments when I'm checking out, check in instead of checking out. That, that's why this book has on the cover, the big red sort of, I guess I would say flamingo colors.

Flamingo, right? Flamingo colors of self help. It was supposed to be like sunsetty, but it's flamingo and you know, thank you PRH for the flamingos. They worked it out. So the flamingo self help cover, it's not hiding what this is. It's in your face. Are you the kind that's going to sit on the subway or on a park bench with this book cover in your face self help.

If you are confident enough to sit on a park bench or a subway [00:10:00] or in public holding this book, then this is your book. This book is for the willing. This book is for those who are in that seat of Deep desire to feel free.

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The thing about when you're talking about the cover, and it's color, it's bold, right? It's bold. So, I think, also what you're saying, and tell me if you disagree, but like, when you're talking about sitting in public, whether it's in a coffee shop or on the subway or in a park bench, it's a bold move to be holding that in your hand.

But it's a bold move for yourself. I mean, who cares what anybody else thinks, right? It's more like, It's more like if you're gonna pick up a book that's called self help with this pink flamingo cover, with this reddish flamingo color, and it's in your face, [00:14:00] it's you're making a statement to the universe that you are ready to do inner work and that you are completely willing.

And it's great because I've weeded out anyone who's not. This book is for the willing. This is the kind of book that if you're sitting on a park bench or you're sitting on the subway and you hold a book like this in your hands. My friend Dani Shapiro, who is an extraordinary memoirist, amazing writer, we'll have her on the show at some point, Dani read the whole book and she messaged me and she's a very devotional spiritual student and a woman who's really dedicated to personal development and her personal growth.

And she's also a good friend. So when your friends read your books, like I read all of Dani's books, but that's easy because she's just like a complete artist. But when your friends read your self help books, you know that they're the willing. And she texted me and she said, This book is beautiful and it's going to help so many souls.

And it's really teaching the model, teaching this therapy model that's in the book. And you're going to help so many people. And when I read that, I was just thinking about her as a reader. And I was thinking about, Oh, well, Dani [00:15:00] is exactly my reader. She's on this very clear path of personal development.

She's working to heal her past traumas, her wounds. She writes about them very openly. She's done tons of beautiful therapeutic work on herself. She has a spiritual practice. And this is the reader. And it was just so great to see that in real time, these early readers that are friends coming back and saying, Whoa, this is really, really strong.

This is really strong. And, you know, and it's beautiful to see that it's, it's the people that have that desire to come in and say, yeah, I'm going to pick this up. And it's anyone that's listening. Truly. If you're listening to dear Gabby, then you're definitely the reader because you're looking for answers.

You're looking for direction. You're looking for guidance. You're looking for healing. And the good news is, is that I'm not your guru, you are your guru. I'm just here to show you some steps to help you access that inner guru inside. You don't have to figure it out. You know, one of the things I'm most excited about listening to you is like, over the next [00:16:00] several months, just having The book in people's hands and seeing their response because it will come in and I'm really looking forward to that because I know it's going to be really beautiful and powerful.

Yeah, I think so too. And I think that that's why I keep saying that this is the new manifesting. The new manifesting is about, and in fact, I'm writing this book, I'm writing a new book that you guys aren't even aware of. And currently it's called the new book. I spoke to my publisher about it and she's like, I think you should literally just call it the new book, but it's about becoming new.

And that's something we've been talking about for a long time. Everyone's like, I want that book. I'm still, I'm just literally like a thousand words in, but it's going to build off of this, right? It's going to be, what does it mean to become new? And this, this new manifesting, what am I talking about? The real manifesting, the new manifesting is healing the beliefs.

So what is something that people might be surprised to learn about you as a writer? Oh, nice question. I think that people [00:17:00] would be surprised to learn about me as a writer that write, have not historically gone off to write my books. I haven't gone off to, to sit for a few months and just write. I've been writing books while living, which is actually not my intention moving forward.

I am going to try to create more little retreaty vibes where I can go off and download, but it served me. It has served me to live and write because the writing, a lot of the writing when you're writing self help books or spiritual self help books is requiring you to live it in real time while you're writing it.

That is the case for me, living it in real time allows me to put the message onto the page in a way that's an authentic experience of the tools. And I think that's what's really resonant for folks. They're experiencing my shift in the stories I'm telling. Now I do intend though, to [00:18:00] go to a cabin in the woods and take a few weeks or take a week or do something.

I don't know if I can take a few weeks. I have a child, but do something where I can go away. and download and just let it come in. That's a new ship. When I write the new book, I'm going to write it in a new way through your career. What are some of the misconceptions that you have found that people have about self help or personal growth?

The biggest misconception around self help is that it's hard because my question always is without it, how's that working out for you living in the world with attack thoughts, self judgment, fear. overwhelm habits, patterns, behaviors that are so destructive. How is that working out for you? So whatever attention and time and focus and commitment you put towards your inner experience, [00:19:00] you get back tenfold.

In fact, you start doing less and attracting more. You feel better and your life expands. You have a subtle shift and that's a miracle. I often say that add up those subtle shifts. To live a miraculous life that it's, it's a lot harder not to live with it. And what would you say is the best piece of advice you've received?

The absolute best piece of advice I've ever received was focus your attention inward to heal. And that's universal advice I've received from my late mentors, Louise Hay, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Wayne saying, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, healing the belief systems is what heals your life.

And what are your all time favorite audio books? Ooh, great question. My favorite audio books. I love, it's going to sound so cheesy, but I love no bad parts by Dick Schwartz. So it's [00:20:00] obvious because self help is all about his work, IFS. And I've listened to that book many, many, many times. I love any Wayne Dyer audio book just because Wayne, Wayne is my late mentor, my friend, my teacher.

He, he comes to me in my meditations and in my writing and in my speaking. And. hearing his voice and the resonance of his voice has such a, it gives me such a transmission of his truth and his message. So I listen to Wayne frequently. I'm actually listening to Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life right now, which is probably like the most epic self help book there is.

Louise is my, my late publisher and teacher and friend. And to even think about her right now, it just makes me really emotional. And I, I'm listening in the car as I drive to You Can Heal Your Life, which is all about all the affirmations we can use to heal our physical, emotional, spiritual condition.
That feels, again, hearing their voices.[00:21:00]

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And Ollie loves Jose Garce's JG Signature Mac and Cheese. You can reset your routine with mouthwatering meals crafted with local ingredients by award winning chefs. Go to cookunity.com/Gabby or enter code Gabby before checkout for 50 percent off your first week. That's 50 percent off your first week by using code Gabby or going to cookunity.com/Gabby. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. All right, we're in the new year and we're all wanting to make really big changes in our life. We're wanting to change our habits. We're wanting to feel better. We're wanting to eat better, live better, think better. And there's no greater way to create change than having a therapist.

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What is the one habit you swear by to maintain a healthy mindset? The one habit that I swear by to maintain a healthy mindset is the four step check in process inside my book, Self Help. I swear by it. I live by it. I would put money on it. If you want me to bet on your change, I would say do this for 30 days and I will put money on it that you will change.

This is a funny question coming from me, but do you have any quirky habits? Do I have quirky habits? What do you think they are? Josh? There's so many. Oh my God. Um, what do you think my quirky habits are? Quirky habits? . I don't know. It's just a funny question. 'cause like I, you know, I observe, you know, we're together [00:25:00] a lot and so I observe you quirky habits.

I don't, I don't know. Well, when you travel with me, it's not a habit, it's a rule. What's the rule with traveling with me? Carry on. Only carry on. Only carry on. Only check a bag. You're out. Unless it's a long trip. If I went to Australia, I'm checking a bag. Okay, period. That's happening. Okay. But otherwise, carry on only people.

You got, you gotta get places. We're busy. We're not waiting for bags. Okay. And that'd be a surprise because I like to dress and stuff. So maybe, maybe that will change as I get more, more styled, even more styled. Quirky habits. So many. I think I have so many. I think that I am really kind of, it's not a habit.

It's a strange thing, but I, I find a lot of ease and comfort doing Canva art. We've talked about this. It's just arty for me. It's like creative for me. I don't know. Maybe I'm, maybe I'm longing for a creative outlet, but Canva, something about it. Soothing. Thank you Canva. [00:26:00] Exactly. Canva's my therapist. How would you turn a bad day around?

Sound like a broken record, but okay, if I'm having a bad day, I check in. I notice I'm checking out because if I'm having a bad day, I'm in a story. I'm in a loop. I'm in a pattern, I'll notice the belief or the feeling or the pattern or the behavior that is really plaguing me and I'll do the four step check in from self help.

And I will choose to check in instead of check out. I will become curious about the feelings and the beliefs that I'm holding on to, offering a lot of curiosity inside. I'll compassionately connect to those feelings by saying, what do you need? And then I'll check for self and I'll see that I feel a little bit more calm and I feel more connected and I feel peace come over me.

When I have that check in in my system. So it sounds like I'm just repeating the same thing over, and I am. That is my practice. Check in, check in, check in, check in, check in. What is your go to listening speed for an audiobook or podcast? I [00:27:00] like a normal listening speed. Anything else is too bizarre. I, you know, when I see things sped up, I'm like, stop that.

Slowing down, stop that. Normal speed, please. If you could have anyone read you a bedtime story, who would it be? This person could be dead or alive. Dr. Wayne Dyer. If I could have anybody read me a bedtime story, it would be Dr. Wayne Dyer. Period. Period. So a while back, I think it was probably like my book.

I had been like my sixth or seventh book. I got a one star review on Amazon. And this is back in the day when like, I was so obsessed with the reviews. I was like one star, like gutted. Who's giving me a one star? And I look at the one star review and it says, I've read every self help book and this one didn't work either.

First of all, God bless that person. I have so much compassion for them. And it made me think about it as I write this book, you know, self help, this is your chance to change your life. And I realized that. The real secret to reading a self help book and having it work is having the strong desire to [00:28:00] change, which is why this is says self help.

This is your chance to change your life. Do you want it? So before you pick up this book or any self help book for that matter, ask yourself, do I really want it? The desire is what makes you have success with the book. Your willingness to show up for it is what will create the success with the book. And of course, the killer book that the author writes.

So on that note, Josh, I think this is the self help book, the ultimate self help book, the revolutionary ultimate self help book. Seriously. I mean, it is the first book ever called self help. People are like, I can't believe that no one did that. They're like, but of course you would Gabby. So here I am. I'm really proud of it.

I'm really proud that it's in the world. I want the audible listener to go listen. I want the reader to go read. I want. you to practice this over and over and over again. If you are the willing, if you are someone that says, yeah, that's cool to hold a book in my hand, that's called self help. And by the way, if it's embarrassing or it's too much for you, take the jacket [00:29:00] off.

I guess it's still there on the side, but just, you know, just, just hold it in your hands. It's like a light little white book. Take off the jacket. You don't need a jacket. It's warm outside. All right. So here we are. Self help. This is your chance to change your life. So go get your copies of self help wherever you get your books, whether on Amazon or Barnes and Noble or at the bookstores, wherever you go.

And join me on my book tour. I'm going to go on the change your life book tour. I'm going to be in New York this coming up, coming up January 10th in New York City, January 14th in Los Angeles. And then we're going to be in Boston in February, we're going to San Francisco, January 16th. Go to dear Gabby.com/events coming to Australia or going to London. We're going all over the place.

So just go there. Find the dates. Join me live. And I can't wait to see you guys on the road. I love you guys. Enjoy the book. I have a question totally aside. Why do you think, because you've said it a couple of times, why do you think people would be nervous or embarrassed to have a book like that in there?

Let's [00:30:00] keep rolling this. This is the after, the after party question here. Why would someone be embarrassed to hold a book with self help on it? You know, I think that we live in a culture, first of all, you and I live in New York City where it's very common to have a therapist. Personal development is very accepted.

That's not the case throughout this country, but particularly throughout the world. If you go to London, my first interview about this book was with a British reporter and she was like, Gabby darling, are you sure this is the right title? Like, really, she was concerned about it because as a, as a Brit, it's like, we may not pick up this book, but that's again, it's for the willing, it's for the willing.

Maybe they'll listen to it if they don't want to be seen holding it and that's how to put down Brits. There's probably plenty of Brits out there that want self help books, but it's, it's a, it's a cultural thing too. Interesting. Yeah. I guess sometimes I'm so like, see everything refracted through my New York lens that I've had.

And you work with Gabby Bernstein. Okay. So, you know, you're like, why would anybody want this? That's where we're at.[00:31:00] 

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you're truly committed to miracles. I'm really proud of you. If you want to get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode. Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience of this show means a lot to me, so I really want to welcome you to leave an honest review.

And you can follow me on social media at Gabby Bernstein. And if you want to get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby'd live at DearGabby.com. See you next week.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support [00:32:00] you on your personal journey towards inner peace.

I'm not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.