free meditation
hero image manifesting

What if patience isn’t something you force—but something that naturally follows trust?

In this re-aired episode from a 2022 Dear Gabby Q&A, I’m answering one of the most common questions I receive about manifesting: How do I stay patient when I’m doing the work, but nothing seems to be happening yet?

This episode is a powerful reminder that manifestation doesn’t respond to effort alone. It responds to faith, worthiness, and spiritually aligned action.

During this live coaching session, I work with callers navigating financial pressure, entrepreneurship, rejection, overgiving, and self-worth. Together, we explore why impatience is often a symptom of fear—and how patience becomes effortless when you strengthen your trust in yourself, your intuition, and the universe.

Rather than pushing, forcing, or overdoing—even spiritually—this episode invites you to slow down, listen inward, and ground yourself in faith so that aligned action feels steady, calm, and supported.

In this video, you’ll learn:

  • Why patience isn’t about waiting—but about strengthening faith
  • How overgiving and unworthiness block receiving and abundance
  • The difference between spiritually aligned action and forcing outcomes
  • Why rejection can be protection and redirection
  • How curiosity and self-compassion restore trust and inner calm

This episode is for anyone who feels tired of pushing, discouraged by slow results, or unsure whether they’re doing enough. Patience isn’t the problem—trust is the work.

Get More Gabby:

disclaimer

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

dear gabby #300 Jan 19, 2026 manifesting

why patience is so hard & how to start manifesting with faith

[00:00:00] The following podcast is a dear media production.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I'm your host Gabby Bernstein, and if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you're ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let's get started.

Welcome back to Dear Gabby, my friends. Welcome back. Today is a really beautiful episode. I am really excited to share with you that this is our 300th episode of Dear Gabby. Guys, it's kind of crazy, 300 episodes and there's a lot coming your way. My friends, we have completely revamped our vision for this show, and in the coming month, like literally next month.

We're gonna be doing a really killer episode [00:01:00] called Dear Guides, where I'm gonna sit down with a medium friend. I'm also a medium I can channel, and the two of us are gonna take a topic that we might talk about on a podcast, and we're gonna talk about it as ourselves, but also channel the spirit guides when we talk about it.

This is going to rock your world. It's an episode of Dear Gabby that's gonna be called Dear Guides. Okay, so make sure you're subscribed to this channel wherever you're listening, because you don't wanna miss any of those episodes. It's gonna take this whole show to a completely new level. Yep. Nobody else is doing that, just Gabby and her guides and her friends.

So get psyched. Some of your favorite mediums that I've had on the show are gonna be joining me. Marianne DeMarco and Bradley Valentine and Rebecca Rosen, and I'm gonna bring in animal psychics like we're gonna be going for it so hardcore. So hit that subscribe button right now because this is the season you never wanna miss, okay?

You're never [00:02:00] gonna wanna miss an episode. I've also got some incredible solos coming your way about toxic relationships that I've been working on, and all of the Abraham Hicks methods of manifesting. It's just a big season coming your way. So just subscribe, subscribe, stick around for the miracles. It is gonna rock your world.

You know, this is still a new year, right? And I've been sitting around him and thinking a lot about what I wanna offer you. And this is like a milestone moment, right? It's a big deal. And so I really wanna step into this new season with you, with just recognizing that we also have this access to so much of that spiritual connection, but we block it sometimes when we're not patient.

And to get to this new level of this podcast, I've had to have some patience, right? I've had to sort of like take it one step at a time. I know that word can be pretty annoying at times, and I know that just hearing the word can make you nervous and it can just sort of tighten your chest a bit. So let's just take that idea in that we can be patient as we create our new dreams, and that it's okay to take your time and it's [00:03:00] not giving up.

It's not just like sitting back and letting life pass you, it's just really giving yourself some grace. And giving yourself some space to see that new dream ahead. And I think that's one of the greatest virtues that happened for me as I started to develop this new vision for the show. So I'm just excited to share with you and this episode right now, we're airing it as our 21 day manifesting challenge is coming to a close.

And I know that for many of you, that desire that you focus on this month, if you were doing the challenge. May have come to fruition, maybe it hasn't yet, but there's also this movement of energy that's happening around you, so you're in the new Year. Even if you're doing the manifesting challenge or not, there's this energy of momentum around you, and I want you to really pay attention to that momentum regardless of whether your manifestation is already occurred, because if it's not there yet, it doesn't mean it's not working.

It means that the roots are planted and the universe is gonna deliver to you in divine timing. So whatever you're cultivating in this new [00:04:00] year, you can be kind of vulnerable. You can feel like, okay, I wanted to create a lot in January, and is it here? Is it not here? And so I just wanna give yourself some grace to recognize that this process of creating also involves patience.

Patience isn't passive, it's not giving up. It's not sitting on the couch waiting for the universe to do the work. Patience is really just embodying trust. In this state, you actually drop in your nervous system and you believe that you're supported and you feel a sense of safety. You're not bracing and you're remembering that your spiritual guidance is around you.

Most of us really aren't taught that way of living. We think that we have to force outcomes. We think we have to grip tighter, make things happen, but we can take action and be patient at the same time. That's really what it means to live a spiritual life. We show up and we take. Action and we feel patient at the same time.

And so that alignment, that energy that we get into when we're at ease [00:05:00] and we're patient, is an energy of alignment that we're gonna talk about in today's episode, because you're gonna hear today from people who are building and creating and offering their gifts and waiting for the return. They're wrestling with the worthiness and they're facing rejection, and they're wondering if it's all gonna work out.

So in this episode, I bring in guests, okay? This is one of my favorite Dear Gabby episodes where I bring in some guests and I answer their real questions in the moment. But there's no script, there's no polishing. It's just honest in the room coaching with spiritual guidance. As you listen, you're gonna recognize yourself in their stories, and these guests are saying some things that you think you know, oh my God, that's me.

You're gonna be in that moment being like, that's me. I feel that and I understand that. And we're talking a lot about this topic right now about patience and how we can trust the universe and how we can release the longing and start allowing and to stop being in that energy of thinking what we need, but instead trusting what we're being delivered.

This is a very, very valuable episode [00:06:00] because it's got killer, killer lessons in here, rocking lessons that are just gonna put you back into that seat and that energetic transmission of knowing. Oh, the universe has my back, so my friends stick around for the miracles throughout this episode. And I'm excited to show you what's to come here on Dear Gabby.

So go hit that subscribe button, make sure you stick around for the upcoming episodes, and make sure you listen to this one all the way through to the end because the end offers a big reveal about how we really ground in that patience and that connection to the universe. I love you and I hope you enjoy this episode.

Today is a fun show. This is a show that. Has a topic that usually is balked at in my audiences. When I say this word out loud and I get on the stage and I say this word out loud, or I give this word as advice, the whole audience, no matter how large it is, is like, uh, [00:07:00]  so I actually want you to make sure to stick around to the end because this is a topic that has a power to transform your life.

And at the same time, it's something we avoid most because it seems too hard and it's actually not, it's not that far from reach. And the topic is patience. It came through as a topic. We have an amazing, uh, question that came through on the Apple reviews, and the topic is specifically about patience and manifesting.]

Here's the question that came through, dear Gabby, my question is about patience. I'm struggling to keep being patient. I know you say surrender more. I'm trying too hard. I did the manifesting challenge and I'm now in the Miracle membership and kind of feel like nothing is really happening yet. I'm working so hard to stay committed and patient.

Please help with any additional guidance on patience. Thanks. Okay. [00:08:00] Sometimes all the doing. Whether it even be our spiritual doing, like our meditation challenge or our practices or, you know, doing, doing, doing gets in the way of receiving. That's why patience is such a extraordinary virtue for you personally, professionally, and as a super attractor, because the key to manifesting is to trust and allow.

And so all the work to manifest shouldn't be about doing. It's simply about releasing the blocks to the presence of that patience. The secret to manifesting is about patience. It's about grounding yourself and patience. And patience sounds so scary to us, but when we give our energy and attention towards feeling aligned spiritually, that's when patience becomes [00:09:00] natural.

When you give yourself the opportunity to slow down and listen, to pray and let go temporarily, even for a moment, you get grounded in a presence of energy that is the presence of spiritual connection. And in that spiritual presence of energy, everything around you can begin to unfold naturally. You can feel more supported, you can feel more guided, you can feel more intuitive.

And when you start to cultivate that presence of intuition and safety and guidance within, that's when patience becomes natural and it's no longer something that you have to force yourself to do, but it's something that becomes an honest response to life. And I can really stand behind what I'm saying right now.

I lived for so many years just [00:10:00] totally impatient, forcing, pushing, controlling, and the more I released the blocks, the presence of faith within me through all the methods that I teach in my nine books, through the practices I teach here on Dear Gabby, the more that I became in that presence of trust, not just trusting myself, but trusting in the universe, trusting in a spiritual connection.

As we strengthen our faith and transform our fear into faith, as I say in my book, the universe has your back. The more we strengthen that faith, the easier patience becomes, and actually patience is sort of the after effect of that strong faith. So this show may be about establishing a sense of patience, and I can give you some practical methods in the Dear Gabby's, and we can go there.

The biggest message is that the clearest path to patients is through [00:11:00] strengthening your faith, and that's a faith of your own understanding, a faith of whatever that means to you. Faith in your intuition, faith in the voice of inner guidance, faith in a spiritual presence beyond your own, a faith of your own understanding.

And when you ground yourself in that faith. It's easy to be patient because you just trust everything is working out for me and I'm truly taking care of even when the shit hits the fan. And that's a lot. And that's, you know, sometimes on the show I'm gonna give you guys these big, seemingly lofty visions of what could be, but I would not offer them up as the end game of, or not even the end game. But I wouldn't offer them up as the vision forward if I actually wasn't living in it.

And so if that feels so far from reach, like, oh, Gabby, I could never possibly imagine being so grounded in faith that patience [00:12:00] was just natural. Well, let me be a power of example for you today.
Today, let me show you that it is possible that I can stay steady in that truth for myself and for you. Inspire you today to continue to deepen your spiritual connection so that that faith strengthens and that patience becomes a natural. Way of being.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the energetic blocks we place on our own self-image and how much power we give away to external metrics. It's just so easy how we can look at that simple number on the bathroom scale and it can just ruin our day. We let a digital readout shift our entire vibration, but I made an exciting discovery that changed a lot for me.

I decided to stop letting the number define my worth and stop focusing on weight and put my energy into reshaping and rediscovering my body's true potential. And part of that journey has been using Creat tone by Brick House Nutrition, which was created by doctors [00:13:00] specifically for women. And I know many of you have probably been hesitant about supplements, but creatine is out there right now.

People are looking for creatine. But the thing that happened for me with a lot of the products was that I would get really. Bulky, and that would make me freak out because I was like, I'm already dealing with my hormonal changes in my body. I don't wanna feel bulky as well, but that's where creatine comes in.

It's radically different from your guy's, creatine. It's designed specifically for the female body with pure creatine. It has patented ingredients that help you look leaner and tremor and more toned. And the incredible part is it's great for busy moms and the busy entrepreneurs because Creatin helps me look more toned, defined, and sculpted without increasing diet and exercise.

It's formulated to ensure that no water retention, no weight gain, and no bulking, so it boosts your metabolism to help burn fat. This is something I really think you should check out. Creatine can help you look leaner, toned, and sculpted. And let's get you started today with 20% off your first order. Visit tone today.com [00:14:00] and use my code Gabby for your discount.

Again, that's my code Gabby to save 20 percent@tonetoday.com. That's tone TONE today.com. When I'm in the middle of a major book launch or leading my team through big things, I've got a lot of brain optimization that I need to be doing, and I've been looking for ways to not just like have to juice up with that coffee in the afternoon.

I need that brain optimized, and I've been looking for a way to say locked in a really mentally sharp. Without the rollercoaster, and that's why I've been using Brain Edge Nature, sunshine Brained combines hand harvested yerba mate with powerful nootropics to support focused memory and cognitive performance without the crash.

And it's clean, it's plant powered, and it's a drink that you can just drink it with some water and it will help you power through those long to-do lists. And what really resonates with me is how it enhances focus and clarity using Nootropic Botanicals to help you concentrate and it's giving you ginkgo.

Copa and this all promotes mental stamina and [00:15:00] the energy feels smooth and sustained because the Yorba Mate is a wild harvested by indigenous communities in South America. So let me just tell you something. Nature of Sunshine is a brand with over 50 years of experience sourcing the most pure and potent ingredients.

So don't fight through feeling foggy and lethargic, ignite your mental performance with Brain Edge Nature. Sunshine is offering 20% off your first order, plus free shipping. Go to Nature sunshine.com and use code Gabby at checkout. That's code gabby@naturesunshine.com. Ignite your mental performance with Brained.

That's code gabby@naturesunshine.com. Let's see what comes through here today. It's a really nice opportunity to go there. Let's bring in our first guest. Hi, how you doing, honey? Hi. Oh, thank you so much for having me. 

Welcome to Dear Gabby. How you doing?  I'm doing good. How are you? I'm great. I'm so happy to be with you guys. It's just so energizing.

Thanks for being with me. [00:16:00] Yeah. I've been working very hard on my business for the last two years. Investing in myself, investing in my business, and just. Trying to find the face that that financial security will find me. You know, I'm putting a lot of investment out there and I'm not really getting much back in, and I've changed my idea of giving free value to kind of get my name out there.

I started a podcast and I've just been putting my heart and soul in that, and that's been. But I also have those financial things coming up and you know, I have a family to support and so anything that you can help guide me to that next chapter. 

Totally. There's so much in here. So what do you think is your biggest block to the financial abundance that you desire? Maybe not [00:17:00] feeling worthy. Okay. So. The feelings of unworthiness create patterns in your nervous system and in your life that will block you from earning. And so you've named one which is overgiving and likely overgiving and not charging because you're not feeling worthy of charging. So let's just address that today.

Okay. One of the things that's very important when you're first starting out and you're facing into that feeling of unworthiness and you wanna also pay your bills, is to first identify what number, what price feels resonant for you. Because when I first started out as a coach, you know, I charge $60 an hour.

Right. And then, you know, if you task me today, I don't even do private coaching anymore. Right? So it's, it's, it's gonna resonate with where you are in that moment. Exchange of money, [00:18:00] even if it's a low number, has a very powerful and profound energy behind it. So if you are like, I'm not worthy, but I want to begin to earn for this great work, maybe find a number that feels resonant for you.

That's not zero. Right? And even if it's like, you know, 50 bucks or $40 or whatever feels in your body. Like something that is resonant and with that sense of connection to that number, go out and unapologetically ask for it and put it out there. And so you're gently moving from giving to receiving, but you're not blowing yourself out because you don't believe in what you're asking for.

So sometimes the practical and spiritual step is to just reach for that. Valued price that feels most resonant in your body and start to get into the exchange of money in whatever form that comes. [00:19:00] Okay, because that's sending a message to the universe. Yeah, I'm ready to get paid for this. That's the message that's being sent to the universe.

Then the patient's part here isn't about not doing anything, not taking action, not showing up, but it's about. Not forcing and not controlling and not making things happen because that balance of taking action from that place of being grounded in the actions that you're taking, grounded in the request that you're putting out, grounded in the number and the price tag will allow you to show up with a more settled energy and it's the frantic energy.

That's the opposite of patience. That's blocking any possibility. And it's picked up by the client. It's picked up by the listener of the podcast. It's picked up on the social media feed. It's felt, it's felt, it's felt. And sorry to tell you this, Kara, but I've seen you in a thousand [00:20:00] different iterations.

You are, you are not special. You are not alone in this. Okay? You have a lot of sisters and brothers out there who. Suffer from the same situation of not feeling worthy of earning for their great work. And so the patience isn't about sitting back and just being like, I'm not gonna make money. The patience is about grounding yourself in the actions that you take, so that you can be bringing a more high vibrational energy to your request for financial abundance to your podcast, to your email newsletter, or whatever it is that you're doing in the world.

Okay. Also, here's a moment of abundance for you. I would like to give you my Spirit Junkie Masterclass, which is a training for people who are spiritual entrepreneurs, and it's not even out in the market at this time. I mean, if somebody wants it, they can email in for it, but we're not even putting it out there right now.

I'm gonna give it to you. The beauty here is this is a moment of [00:21:00] abundance for you, giving you a $2,000 course. The purpose of that course is to put you into an energy of worthiness and to trust that worthiness. And there's actually a bonus that's accompanied with the course, which is a whole training on worthiness.

So sister, you're hooked up, you came to the right place and I'm giving you clear, a clear path forward. Okay? Thank you so much. You are welcome. Gorgeous. You're so welcome, dude. Hi, Doug. 

Gabby B.  What's up my love. Welcome to the show. Good to see you, sweetheart. Good to see you too. How are you? Everything good. So good. So good. Since last time I saw you we're here with Doug, I was on Doug's podcast. Tell them you're podcast names. They can go listen to our interview or anything else. 

It's called The Adversity Advantage, and we had, we've had two really amazing conversations that. People have really got a lot out of, and I'm just grateful for you and [00:22:00] the friendship that we've built.

And I guess my, my question, I think it's, it's relevant for, for a lot of people right now is I struggle a lot with patience. Like I find mm-hmm. That there's these, there's this polarity, right? There's like times where I need to be really, really patient, and then I'm too patient. Or there's times where I wanna be more persistent.

I'm almost too persistent. I think either way can have like negative side effects. So I'm trying to figure out like, like where's the silver lining? Like where's the middle ground so that I don't push people away or not take enough action. 

Excellent question. So in my book, super Attractor, I share a method called the Spiritually Aligned Action Method. And it's designed to help you take action, which we need to do, whether it's in a relationship or in a career choice or anything, but to take action from a place of spiritual alignment. And so whenever we are [00:23:00] practicing this method for our action oriented endeavors, we can trust. That we are gonna be aligned in the actions that we take.

And actually the final step of the spiritually aligned action method is patience. So the goal of taking action from this place, from a spiritually aligned place is to first make sure that whatever action that you wanna take or desire that you want to fulfill is backed with love and service. So if it's like, you know, writing a book, is it backed with love and service?

If it's reaching out to an ex-partner to forgive, you know, it's backed with that energy of love and service. You know, how, how can I be truly helpful? And when you know that you're grounded in that energy and you feel that, okay, I'm backed with love and service. That's when you know you can take the action.

That's when you know you can, okay, okay, now I can pick up the phone. Now I can write that book proposal. Feel grounded in love and service. I'm trusting right now that this is spiritual energy behind this. So the next step is to [00:24:00] take the action, the spiritually aligned action, and then the third step is to be patient.

So you can have an effortless experience of being patient when you know that you've taken action from that spiritually aligned place. Because any action that we take from that spiritually aligned place we can trust is gonna be infused with our, our spirit guides coming through. It's gonna be infused with inspiration, it's gonna be infused with our direction.

It's gonna be having an impact on the world because it's not coming from that needy controlling energy, and it's not coming from something that's so passive and so, you know, laid back. It's coming through with your highest presence. So if you're taking action from a place of spiritual alignment, patience not only is necessary and required, but it's also an easy thing to trust.

'cause you can trust that your action is backed with a lot of great energy. Yeah. Yeah. I, I love, I love that answer because I [00:25:00] think in my experience, and I'm sure people can relate to this, we make these decisions from a, an emotional place. Like times where our self-esteem is down or we're feeling depressed or upset, we wanna be more persistent.

But really we need to take that time to make sure we're like in the best head space. And really like feeling like our highest self before we decide to proceed. So thank you so much for that answer. That was awesome. 

You straight up nailed it. So you, I know with all the work that you've done on yourself are not gonna have much trouble being patient when you can trust that you've taken that action from spiritual alignment.

Because like I know for myself, I'm gonna give you an example, like any endeavor that I take, if I know that it's backed with really juicy energy and it's backed with inspiration, it's backed with love, it's backed with service, then I don't have to do much Once I've done the action. I can let the universe take care of the rest because I've put the right energy into it.

So I feel really confident that this is the move for you. Perfect. I'm so happy that we did this. Thank you, baby. Thank you. 

You too. And I hope you have a great day, and thanks again for bringing me on. I. [00:26:00] You are so welcome.

Every January in social media, my feed is flooded by like New year, new you messaging. And we all know that setting these massive, unrealistic goals is really not the way to do things. 'cause then eventually we just burn out and we just, you know. Lose our minds. So we have to really take these small habits seriously.

And when I'm in the middle of January, I've got my manifesting challenge. There's lots of high energy, lots of things going on, and my routine is really non-negotiable and that's why Ritual has always been there for me. Ritual has always had my back with daily habits backed by science, but their Magnesium Plus has completely transformed the way I transitioned from CEO mode into rest mode.

It features a clinically backed magnesium and tart cherry powder, and I love the ritual selected a bioavailable form of magnesium that is specifically designed to be gentle on the stomach. That's a serious important detail here. I mix this into my evening routine and the difference is [00:27:00] really palpable.

It helps me unwind from the day and. Me support restful sleep so I can wake up feeling truly relaxed and really ready for the day. And so if you've ever questioned magnesium in the past, this is the way to go, guys. What stands out about ritual is how they formulated it to support mind relaxation and muscle recovery in one simple step, and this has become an anchor in my evening and relaxation routine alongside my ritual favorites.

So sit back and raise a glass to your new evening ritual with Magnesium Plus. For a limited time, save 40% on your first month at ritual.com/year, Gabby. That's ritual.com/year Gabby for 40% off your first month. Alright guys. If you have ever seen me in my little workout videos or running around the house in my cozies, I'm in skims, like I am in skims.

I wear the skims little lounge wear. I wear the skims pajamas. I wear the skins workout gear. I wear the skims bras. I'm literally wearing a skims bra right now. Lemme just say something. Kim Kardashian [00:28:00] nailed it with this brand and I'm gonna tell you that my entire top drawers. Filled with skims because their fabrics are just so beautiful and it's like another level.

They're affordable. They fit everybody. It's amazing. I reach for my fit. Everybody Scoop Bralet every single day. I'm literally wearing it right now. If you struggle with a bralet that offers zero support and flattens you like a sports bra, skims has got you covered. They've managed to create a bralet that provides both support and incredible comfort, and it makes you look good.

Makes your boobs look good. And I love their cotton jersey. Full brief. And I'm just also obsessed with their trench. There's like this like cozy trench coat that I just got. It's so cozy. I love it. And I've worn in washed mine countless times. And when you feel supported and comfortable in your own skin, it changes how you show up for your life and for the world.

And so I really recommend skims to every single woman. Whenever somebody's like, what body do you use? I'm like, skim. So shop for my favorite bras and underwear@skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you so select [00:29:00] podcasts in the survey. And be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu.

And if you're looking for the perfect gift for yourself for Valentine's Day, the skims Valentine's Day shop is now open. You guys know that I love to work out, and one of the things that I've been really wanting to do more is stretch and get that lean muscle, and that's why I'm really obsessed with the convenience of your reformer.

It allows you to skip the studio commute and enjoy easy instructor-led workouts right in your own living room. This isn't just about fitness, it's actually about choosing a lifestyle that actually works. Great for you, and it's like having a little Pilates studio in your own home. And if you're sick of starting every single January, being like, what am I doing to do to get my body in shape, your reformer is the answer.

What makes this so different is that it brings the genuine studio experience to your house with high quality reformers. They're incredible on-demand app and they have over 1000 reformer and Matt Pilates workouts to choose from, and I love the flexibility. I [00:30:00] can do a 15 minute express class, but I also love that they have their stuff for postnatal mamas and injury specific and longer sessions.

So don't miss this New Year's Sale to receive a free Thera Body Thera Gun Relief with every reformer purchase and start a wellness journey that lasts your time, your way, your reformer. You can save up to $1,260 with this sale and you can get free us y delivery. Visit your reformer.com to shop their new year sale on sale now.

To save. That's your reformer.com to shop their New Year's sale. On now to save.Hi.  Hi girlfriend. 
I guess I wanted to talk to you a bit more about I, and I really liked Kyra's question earlier about being an entrepreneur and launching our own business because I'm the same. I'm a coach. I run my own online business, and for the first two years I [00:31:00] felt exactly the same way. As Cara did, but I guess now things are really starting to be aligned.

I read your Happy Days book. I'm also doing IFS, so that's been so amazing for me. But I guess one of my questions is right now, so I'm a coach, I do one-to-one coaching, I do group coaching, and one of the things I really struggle with is rejection. Like people who say, and one of the biggest triggers for me is people who say yes, and then they say no.

They change their mind and it might be like a bigger investment to me. And I kind of, I try not to get carried away with the fact that they're ready and they're gonna jump, jump in and work with me, and then they kind of say no. And I feel really, my energy's shifted for like 24 hours. At least I feel so low.
And so, I dunno, I just feel like everything I, I've been working on isn't working. 

Hmm. Well listen. [00:32:00] Rejection is protection. So if somebody is ready to commit and then not ready to commit, that's a sign that they may not be your ideal customer avatar, right? You want to attract customers that wanna go with you, wanna go deep, want to really be a devoted coaching client.

And I think that my suggestion is back to clarity, really identifying clearly. What are your non-negotiables for your client? Because a lot of times we're thinking we're selling somebody because we need to give our services to them, right? But we're also in the service of them, and that takes a lot of energy, and so we wanna make sure we're attracting the right kind of people.

So right now there's a part of you that's touching into probably a sense of unworthiness, and that's what's activated when somebody comes into this conversation and then backs out. Being in that energy of unworthiness can often be a reason why you may attract [00:33:00] folks who are not yet aware of your value, right?

So they dip in because they're like, oh, she's really shiny and bright, and then they dip out because they're like, something doesn't quite yet feel. Like, I'm really aligned with that. You know what I mean? And so there's two things happening here. One, I want you to get crystal clear about who you wanna attract and write it out and be very clear.

I wanna attract people who wanna do the work. I wanna attract people who stick around, who make the commitment show up every week, whatever that is. And then number two, start to touch into the belief systems that you may be carrying that are creating an energy that is making you a magnet for people who aren't sure.

Yeah, and I really resonate with that. And one of the things I've tried to do in my life consciously over the past few years is really to be very forward in my communication with people. You know, tell them straight up. I think part of it is when people, when I feel almost like betrayed by that person. So I'm like, I, I [00:34:00] want to embody being very open in my communication.

If I'm gonna sign up to a program, I'll tell them how I feel on the call, or I'll really be clear in my intentions and I don't ignore people and I try to embody the type of person I wanna attract. 

Great. Excellent. I think you're doing everything right Cleo, but you know, listen, you signed up to be a miracle worker.

You signed up to coach people. You signed up to be of service, and so you know what? You're gonna be given a lot of opportunities to look at your own shit and to say, what is it that I need to do to shine the crystal that is me, so that I can be the best leader, best coach, best guide for these people who are drawn to me?

We attract our likeness, truly. And so right now you're attracting people who wanna do the work, but they're not fully believing they can. And that's maybe reflecting some of where you're at still. Right. And it's a truth. It's a truth. And that may or may not be the exact language that you would use, [00:35:00] but it's really important to be the witness of the ways that you may be resisting your greatness.

Yeah, that's so true. I really resonate with that. I never, I keep thinking about it like with the IFS and looking at parts and looking, I've, I've found a lot of parts that have a lacking emotional connection. Um, and I've found that there's obviously a lack of emotional connection with myself. And I sometimes think that I don't understand myself, so I miss things like perhaps I haven't taken a look at me and whether I am what I'm feeling, I'm looking very externally because what's the opposite of emotional connection is just like social connection.

Well, it's not the opposite. Do you know what I mean? It's like, let me back you up for one second using IFS, because this is something that you're doing. And this is internal family systems for people who are listening in and have not done it. And we have a whole episode where I interviewed Dick Schwartz, who's the founder of IFS, and I talk about it in happy days.

So you can go back if you wanna listen, but for you right here, right now, [00:36:00] you're doing a lot of beautiful work to get to know these parts of yourself that may not be fully developed yet, or parts of you that may be in very protector mode. And so instead of overanalyzing it or pushing yourself too fast, trust that, that you're in the right place with the right guidance, with this right therapist.

Get excited about the journey and become curious about these parts of you. Become curious about what they are here to reveal. Become curious about what they need, what they wanna show you. Because that energy of curiosity is self-energy. And in IFS it's all about connecting self to the parts. And so for right now, just use the, the c quality of curiosity.

So in those moments when you notice that the client changed their mind and they're not gonna show up, and you feel yourself super triggered, [00:37:00] instead of getting into a 24 hour loop, spend that day getting curious. Okay. Triggered part. What do you wanna know? What do you want me to know? What do I notice in my body?

What do I notice about this part? Is it, is there a gender? Is there an age? What do I know about it? How old is it? Where may have it showed up before in my life? What do you need? What do you need? Notice no need and be curious about these responses and these parts and that my love. Begins a really beautiful journey of self-energy, spiritual energy, connecting to these protector parts.

And that's the first step towards true freedom internally, beginning the relationship with a self-led life being led by that spiritual connection. It'll allow you to be patient, it'll allow you to be patient with yourself because another quality of that energy is calm and so. The [00:38:00] more you start to dive deeper into this internal family systems work, the more patient you'll be and the more understanding and compassionate you'll be towards all of the parts of who you are.

Mm. Yeah. And I, I'm smiling because one of the parts that is strong for me or like I have a very strong connection with is the fixer or the trying to figure out the figure out part. So sometimes I have to say. Okay, like, do you wanna go and sit over there and just chill for a minute while I just stay curious?
'cause sometimes I feel myself trying to figure it out and it's like, rather than curiosity and openness, it's very much analytical. 

Yeah. And even right here, right now, say to your fixer part, Hey, like, let me get off this call with Gabby. I'd love to get to know you a little bit more. Maybe you can sit down in your journal and write a little bit with the fixer and just say.

What do you, what do I notice? What do I know about you? What [00:39:00] do you need? Yeah,  give it a little voice. Beautiful, sweetheart. Nice job. Thank you so much, Gabby. So lovely to speak to you. 

So welcome. Alright, well this show couldn't have come at a better time for so many of you listening and for myself, because it's such a valuable opportunity too.

Tap into that presence of patience and recognize that that patience becomes more and more effortless the more we ground ourselves in our own personal growth, personal recovery, and spiritual connection. This show is almost like another promise of what happens when you go big. When you go in and you go big inside, when you make the commitment to your internal condition, when you practice a book like Happy Days, when you listen to a show like Dear Gabby, when you do any kind of personal growth or spiritual development, you strengthen [00:40:00] that inner foundational commitment to yourself and to the faith of your own inner wisdom and the faith of your inner guidance system, and that is your greatest path to patients.

The reason that we are so impatient is because we do not trust. We don't trust the universe. We don't trust ourselves. We don't trust others. So the path isn't to force patients upon ourselves. The path is to strengthen our faith. 

Before we close, I just wanna bring this home in a really grounded way. Patience isn't something that you can think your way into. It's actually something that you practice, and it's something that you embody in your energy. It's not passive and it's not giving up. Remember that. It's not just sitting back and hoping that life works out. It's trusting and knowing that life is working out.

Patience is a trust in motion. It's showing up. It's taking a aligned action and letting the universe do its part without gripping the outcome. [00:41:00] It's trusting your intuition. It's just trusting that just because you can't see movement, yeah, it doesn't mean it's not happening. That's it. That's the reset. So I wanna thank you today for being with me on the 300th episode of Dear Gabby to get psyched for everything that's coming this new quarter.

We're gonna have so many cool new episodes with dear guides and all of the mediums I'm bringing on, and I just am so grateful that you're part of this community. As a gift to you, I wanna give you a meditation today to help you ground in that patient so you can get my free magnetic energy meditation.
Just go to dear gabby.com/magnetic and just enjoy that meditation. Ground yourself and patience, and know that I'm rooting for you. I love you. Stick around for the miracles.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you're truly [00:42:00] committed to miracles. I'm really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode. Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me, so I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media at Gabby Bernstein.

And if you wanna get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby, live@deargabby.com. See you next week.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. 

Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace.

I'm not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a [00:43:00] psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.