free meditation
hero image manifesting

how to think more positively and free yourself from what’s holding you back

Everyone at this Dear Gabby Live session in Sydney walked away better equipped to cope with anxiety, grief and fear. They walked away with the power of positive thinking. They walked away better able to attract their deepest desires and manifest their dreams. You can feel their energy shifting through this podcast, and you can learn the same things I taught them. I told this audience, “You can’t heal what you can’t reveal.” And they revealed all.

I think you’ll feel my energy, too. Why? Here’s the truth: I’m living a life way beyond my wildest dreams. 

And that’s not just the dreams I had as a child or a teenager, or even as a younger adult.

I’m living a life way beyond the wildest dreams I had for myself just a few short years ago.

People on my Dear Gabby Live tour who have seen me before keep telling me that they see the difference in me. There’s a major shift in the freedom I show up with—in my body, in my mind and my voice. And I can feel it. I feel new.

A few years ago, most people would have said I was successful. I’d been on Oprah. I’d become a bestselling author and I had an amazing following of wonderful people. But I was still struggling. I was still suffering.

Offstage, despite my success as an entrepreneur, I was manifesting a lot of scary stuff—horrible physical discomfort, debilitating anxiety, relationship issues—you name it. 

I wasn’t able to heal until I learned the insights and strategies I share in this podcast.

listen now

why our unconscious struggles lead to addiction and getting stuck

Multiple audience members at this recording had questions that fit perfectly with this paradox: How do you manifest your dreams and attract your desires when you’re deep in the middle of a sh*tstorm of pain and struggle? How do you harness the power of positive thinking amid terrible circumstances?

I believe that struggle and progress/success aren’t mutually exclusive. You can move toward your dreams while you’re struggling. If we all waited until everything was perfect before we moved forward, we’d never move forward. 

Want to know the trick? Here’s a Dear Gabby truth bomb moment:

You can’t step around or over struggle and suffering.

gabby

You can’t be free of struggle and suffering by suppressing or numbing it. Stop trying.

You might know that on an intellectual level, but do you believe it? Do you act in alignment with it?

So many of us, consciously or unconsciously, attempt to suppress, surmount, numb or fight through pain—emotional or physical. We’re taught to get over it, to deny it or to numb it. Our culture is uncomfortable with discomfort. But that leads us to do the opposite of what we should do, which is to face discomfort head on.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy teaches us that our struggles and suffering do not define us as a whole, but rather represent our wounded inner parts—our unhealed trauma. While we think we’re solving problems by turning to alcohol, food, TV or other distractions, we’re really letting the problems fester. We are told to “think positive,” but we don’t know what that really means. Those problems show up as physical pain and discomfort, illness, anxiety, struggles at work and with our partners and friends, addiction—all things I’ve faced before understanding that I can’t get over, deny or numb my pain.

Instead, I need to address it. And once you learn how, it will change your life.

listen now

in this bonus episode, I’ll share:

  • The exact 3 steps you need to take to address your wounded inner parts
  • How to deal with your pain and struggle without suppressing, distracting or numbing
  • How to authentically think more positively and harness the power of positive thinking without sugarcoating
  • How to know if you’re unconsciously manifesting physical issues, and what to do about it
  • How to manage high-stakes life decisions without panic
  • How to get unstuck from anxiety, fear and grief 

That’s a lot, right? I took so many questions during this Q&A that we went almost an hour over our scheduled time. But I have zero regrets. This audience was so vulnerable and shared so many deeply personal but very common concerns, fears and struggles. The energy in the room was incredible. It was so bright with possibility and positive thinking—authentic positive thinking.

I was vulnerable, too. The podcast editor had to do a lot of bleeping to keep this from being NSFW, and I shared why my publishers were so nervous about my previous book, Happy Days. I also shared some sneak peeks of my upcoming book, Self Help, and talked about my VERY exciting upcoming app launch.

I wish you had been there in the audience with me! But I know this episode will make it feel like you were right there in Sydney. You can breathe with us, manifest with us, pray with us and heal with us.

listen now
get more gabby

free manifesting meditation to attract your desires

By submitting your number, you agree to receive recurring automated promotional marketing text messages from Dear Gabby, Inc. and Gabby Plus, Inc. at the cell number you entered above. Consent is not a condition of any purchase. Reply HELP for help and STOP to cancel. Msg frequency varies. Msg and data rates may apply. You also agree to our Terms & Privacy Policy.

disclaimer

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

dear gabby #153 Jul 28, 2023 manifesting

change your perspective with radical positivity

Listen on:

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

GABBY: Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I'm not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

Before we even dive into today's episode, and it's a big episode today, I want to give you a little inside tip that will come in handy, especially after you listen to today's show. You've heard me say it over and over and over again. This is my mantra. The path to inner peace is through meditation. Period.

Period. End of story. I literally do not go a day without meditating. I've been on this journey for 17 and a half years. Frankly, I've been meditating pretty much most of my life as a child and have had a daily devotional practice for 17 and a half years. And when it comes to manifesting, well, there's simply no greater tool to support you on that journey.

That's why I'm going to give you my most powerful guided manifesting meditation for free, totally for free. You can use this alongside all the other tools and techniques that I talk about on this show, and particularly in this episode. So all you have to do is go to DearGabby.com/manifest and download this truly transformational meditation to help yourself begin to manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams.

This meditation will greatly complement today's episode. So I highly recommend that after listening to this episode, you go to DearGabby.com/manifest and download that meditation, practice it. Maybe even practice it for the next 30 days. See what transpires. Leave me a review and tell me about the miracles.

You will thank me later.

Hey there, welcome to Dear Gabby. I'm your host, Gabby Bernstein. And if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you're ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let's get started.

Hello, my friend. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. I'm going to start this episode with a mic drop. Here it goes. You can't heal what you won't reveal. Boom. Mic drop. I shared that message in front of a live audience and everyone literally got silent. And then I went on. I carried on with this motivational talk.

To create change, you have to make a shift. You have to show up and you have to do the work. And that's what today's episode of Dear Gabby is all about. I'm giving you a serious real-time, Gabby kick in the ass, and I'm going to reveal the secret behind the power of positive thinking. This is a deal, my friend.

It's never ever too late to shift your perception, and your dreams are waiting to be realized. They're waiting to be realized in such a major way. And big change is just waiting to be unleashed. And my hope is that this episode inspires you to really just seek liberation from any of the struggles that are holding you back, and just open your heart to the infinite possibilities that are available to you.

So together, let's just embrace a life beyond our wildest dreams. Listen now, enjoy this show, and learn the secret, the absolute secret to the power of positive thinking. It's all coming through from this live recording when I was in Sydney. Massive mic drops, major motivation.

Just listen to the end and enjoy the show.

GABBY: Welcome back. Welcome back. So this is a chance now for us to just go deep into the conversation about the big work that we did just 15 minutes ago. And I looked at my friends backstage and they're like, wow, people are really willing to go there. And I was like, because I'm willing to go there. And also your willingness has such a huge benefit to me because right now, like I said earlier, it's go time.

We have this desire to have a different life. Well, this is how. And I think that it's not false or wrong to in any way say that the power of positive thinking will change your life or that choosing a different perspective will change your life or that prayer, meditation, healthful living will change your life.

Yes. Yes. Yes. I've been writing and teaching this for 17 years What I have experienced in my own therapy for the past 12 years is that through this inner inquiry of getting to know these younger parts of myself and then going on to become trained in this model, I have reclaimed a life I never thought was possible.

I'm living a life way beyond my wildest dreams And that's since the last time I saw you. You got me? She can tell. I can tell. I feel. And they say in the Twelve Steps, they say, like one of the great slogans in AA is, if you want what they have, do what they do. So if you see a shift in me and you see some freedom in my body and my mind and my voice, follow along.

In your own way. In your own way. So I'm here just to teach you what I do. So I want to hear from you guys. And we're going to bring the lights up a little bit now. Let's just bring up the, gently bring up the lights so we don't assault everyone with the lighting. Let's stand up. You're first, my love.

GUEST: Hello.

GABBY: Hi.

GUEST: Hi, thank you. My question is, when you're going through a sh**ty process, how do you honor the grief, the sadness, et cetera, and still try and vibrate from something above courage?

GABBY: Well, I just taught it to you. You don't push past the grief. You befriend it. You check in with it. You become curious about it.

You connect compassionately to it. Those are the three steps that we just practiced. Check in every day. Okay, grief. What do you want me to learn today? Turn inward and become curious. Where do you live in my body? How old are you? How long have you been around? What do you want me to know? And then the third step is compassionately connect.

What do you need today? What do you need today? And that grief might say, I need to just rest. Or it might say, I need to go and go for a walk on the beach and listen to Dear Gabby. Or I need to just have a nice meal. And the more that you connect to that grief and befriend it, the safer it will feel to reveal to you what it needs in order to heal.

Does that make sense to you?

GUEST: Can you still manifest during that process at the same time?

GABBY: Yes. Because overriding your grief is the opposite of manifesting. If you're going through a difficult time and you're like, push past it, think in a higher vibration, it's actually overriding your truth. Now you actually checking in, making a conscious effort to befriend that grief.

What does that do? That helps you feel proactive. It helps you process in the moment. It gives you a fleeting second of relief. Manifestation is about being in the presence in the absence of resistance. And even if you have a moment of that absence of resistance, a fleeting moment of relief, that's far more effective in manifesting your desires than pushing past and pushing down and thinking above the grief.

You with me?

GUEST: Gotcha.

GABBY: Yeah. We can't heal what we're not willing to reveal. Okay. Beautiful question. Thank you.

GUEST 2: Hi. We were having a good chat here in the break about the managers and the fire starters and we were just wondering what your views are and what makes people stay in manager versus create…

GABBY: Firefighters, yeah.

They work together, right? So, we live in managers day to day. Managing, managing. So that could be controlling, or that could be, I'm just using all my own, but you know who your managers are right now, right? They're kind of the behaviors about ourselves that, we kind of laugh off, right? Or that people might say, “Oh, she's so bossy,” or those managerial ways that we live.

And also other forms of managing could be sleeping on the sofa—anything we do to manage our feelings. When life becomes so activating or the younger exiled parts of us get super, super triggered. Maybe you go home for the holidays. And that's where your trauma is from, or you read something in a book that super triggers you and reminds you of something you thought you forgot, or you have a very traumatic event, or even just the slightest thing sets you off beyond the point where the managers can actually still manage your feelings.

When the managers can't manage those feelings anymore, the firefighters swoop in with addiction. The firefighters say, pick up the drink to put out the fire, go dissociate to put out the fire, go to the refrigerator to put out the fire. So addicts are living in firefighter parts. You with me? Because the managers weren't working anymore.

And those of us who become addicts often have had very big T trauma. And so we work really hard to manage that trauma, but when it gets activated by anything, we would turn to the firefighter addictive parts to put out that fire. You with me? Great question.

GUEST 3: Hi, Gabby. Thank you for being here. My question is, how do you manifest and be positive when you're living in an absolute shit storm when all around you is unbelievable crap happening that you wouldn't even believe?

How do you... keep to your vision. How do you keep positive and manifest when you're constantly got this life around you?

GABBY: Well, when you're living in the absolute shit storm, sometimes those moments when things have hit bottom are the moments when we crack open. Remember I said earlier, the wound is the place where the light enters you.

So instead of looking at this storm as something that you have to fight each day, what if you woke up each day and said, what would you have me learn from this? How would you have me grow from this? I would really turn to prayer because when we pray, we suspend our disbelief. We forget what we think we need.

And we ask our higher self and a higher power of our own understanding to reveal to us what the next right action is. And often when we're in life's biggest shit storms, we actually have more vulnerability and more surrender because what the f **k else are we going to do? All the other managing criteria are not working.

That's when people get into 12-step program. That's when people go into therapy. That's when people become deep in their spiritual practice. So let's say thank you to the shit storm for revealing to you what's possible in your healing journey right now.

[AD BREAK]

We all lead these really busy lives and it's non stop and it's not stopping anytime soon. So it's super important that we find a way to keep ourselves feeling good, feeling strong. Feeling full of energy. It's crucial that we take our immune system seriously at this stage. And so for me, that support comes from Cymbiotika.

Cymbiotika is perfect for anyone who's trying to elevate their health and wellness. Cymbiotika's health supplements are sophisticatedly designed formulations that are clinically proven to increase vitality and longevity by filling in the nutritional gaps that result from our modern day diet.

Cymbiotika can support you whether you're looking for stress relief or heart health or even just looking to feel more energized during the day. And for me, it's my go to for keeping my immune system really, really strong. I was just traveling recently. I wanted to keep my immune system up. Every single day, I took Cymbiotika Super Greens.

That supported my cellular detoxification, boosted my energy. I took the Magnesium L-threionate. Majorly important, people are so deficient in magnesium. The game changer for me is the liposomal vitamin C. Their liposomal vitamin C is a synergistic formula that plays a key role in immune system function, collagen production, and healthy aging.

They have a super convenient and easy online quiz. And this will help you figure out the exact right supplements for your specific health goals. Visit Cymbiotika.com/Gabby for 15% off site wide or create your custom bundle and get up to 45% off. Code applies on top of custom bundle.

[END AD BREAK]

PREET: Hi, Gabby. My name is Preet. First of all, thank you for coming to Sydney. Rumi is one of my favorites and I think he was one of the first trauma experts in history. My question really is around the controller, so everything that you said—

GABBY: You’re talking to the right girl.

PREET: I know and hence I'm really excited to ask you this question because I relate a lot. Rumi has a quote that I'm sure you're familiar with that he says it's not about seeking love but looking within and getting rid of the barriers that stop you from getting in touch with that space in yourself.

My question to you is, you've now had an experience living through being the controller and manifesting with that cap. You've now taken a journey and become informed about trauma and how that obviously affects each and every one of us. My question is, having been through the experience of manifesting through both ways, one is unconscious and one is conscious of those shadows within us.

It’s still worked for you when you were unconscious, but I'm sure action had a lot of role to play there. How do you compare the two and what is the difference?

GABBY: Well, you only saw the part that worked for me that was related to my career.

PREET: Touché.

GABBY: Okay, because we manifest what we believe and from a very very young age I have believed that I am here to be in the service of others through spiritual connection, education, even when I was 14 years old.

I was leading youth groups in my region and leading these spiritual retreats and my Enneagram, which is like a personality test. I'm an 8, so I'm a natural entrepreneur. I was brought up with an entrepreneurial mother who taught me that you can do anything pretty much, that you can just start a business, you can do anything overnight.

Now, I was brought up with a major lack mentality. When I was 21 years old. I had a quantum shift where I made some cash promoting parties and decided that day that I know how to make money and I'm never going to fear money again. And so that's been my money career story. And that's what you've seen. But if you read Happy Days, you'll know that what happened off stage was pretty scary.

Wasn't manifesting much there. When I was off stage, I was manifesting extreme gastrointestinal issues. I was manifesting major weight loss as a result of being completely ill. I was manifesting a lot of chaos in my relationships. I was manifesting a lot of codependent relationships at my job. I was manifesting a lot of fear.

I was manifesting extreme panic attacks. I was manifesting so much physical discomfort that I went to the hospital, had four MRIs only to realize that I'd had a panic attack. And that's why my whole left side of my body went numb. So sister, you see that I was manifesting in an area of my life that I was believing, but I was manifesting quite the opposite where I did not yet believe.

Okay, baby?

PREET: I just want to say thank you for Happy Days. It's mandatory reading for everyone.

GABBY: Thank you.

PREET: In particular, women. So, thank you so much.

GABBY: Thank you for saying that and thank you for that excellent question because it's a very cool question. I appreciate it very much because the idea that oh on the outside it looks like somebody's manifesting so much. But when I wrote my book Happy Days and I started to get honest and reveal what I was really going through, do you know what my publisher said?

I wrote it in the introduction. They said, you know, Gabby, we're scared for you. We don't want your readers to see you in that light. Because you were on all these stages and you were so bright and magnificent. We don't want to let them know. Literally, this is what they were saying. Not in so many words. We don't want to let them know what a shit show you were.

And they're saying, you know, you're being too vulnerable. My response was my vulnerability is my greatest strength.

[APPLAUSE]

And I didn't change a word. Because that vulnerable truth is what I needed you to know. And it doesn't actually, to back to our sister's point up here, it doesn't take away from being able to be on the stage and be a channel and write lots of books. Because remember, we can be going through crisis and going through trauma and going through really difficult things and still do a lot of great work in the world.

And still be an excellent mother or wife or great friend. We can be going through tough times and still put a lot of greatness out, especially when you're on the path. Look, I was going through really manifesting a lot of things I didn't want, but I went to therapy twice a week. I did whatever I could to calm my nervous system.

I became a Yogi. I meditated daily, but even my spiritual practice, this is important. My spiritual practice became a manager. A protector. Does that resonate? I just want to acknowledge something, guys. It's really, really moving and I'm really grateful to you that I can workshop this material with your receptivity and it's big stuff.

I just, I, I know I said, oh, it's because of me. I can teach it's actually you. You're ready for it. I, I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being open to having this parts conversation with me which can be so hard for people to get and it can take decades of therapy to actually understand it and you're with me and you're tracking and I love you. Cool.

Who's got the mic?

KIM: I have Gabby. Hello. Oh God, loud and clear. Gabby, this is Kim.

GABBY: Hi Kim.

KIM: It's quite interesting, I've got this on the back of... Your last comments because my question is about how the hell do I deal with this fear of anxiety? Because when the anxiety comes in, it can really affect heart. I've had heart failure and it's keeping me stuck despite all of the spiritual practices, following things, it just comes up and bites me on the bum regularly.

GABBY: Well, anxiety is very scary. It's also a protector part. Anxiety is masking something deeper. Okay, first let's say thank you to the anxiety because it shows up for a reason and it's there masking something deeper Okay, we know there's some deeper work. My recommendation to every single person in this room is find a therapist in some way shape or form. Free, not free, whatever you can get to but what I will tell you is that we fear anxiety because we don't have yet the awareness that within us we have the ability to self-soothe.

And so instead of living our life fearing when it could come back on, what if we lived our life willing to befriend it if and when it showed up? Now, how do you befriend your anxiety? You check in, you feel into the feelings in your body. If you feel into the feeling of anxiety in your body, usually it's in your chest or your stomach, and you breathe into it for 90 seconds, it will relax.

It can calm. After that 90 seconds, you can then compassionately connect to the anxiety and say, “Hey, what can I do for you right now? What do you need right now?” I guarantee you the next time you have anxiety, if you notice it and choose to check in, focus your attention inward. Rather than trying to stop it, because trying to stop it perpetuates it, focus your attention inward, become curious about everything that's happening inside, and then breathe for 90 seconds into the feeling.

Where do you feel it in your body, love? In your chest, yeah. In your heart. Well that, and it's affecting your heart. There we go, okay. I want you to breathe into the feeling. Do you have a little anxiety with you right now?

KIM: Absolutely.

GABBY: Take a deep breath, close your eyes. Everybody around her, close your eyes.

Anyone in the room who is having this kind of feeling as well is to go deep breath in and breathe into the anxiety, wherever you feel it in your body. Breathe out, breathe into the feeling, and don't judge it, don't attack it, don't try to push it away, just be present with it. Exhale, let it go, take another deep breath in.

And breathe into that feeling in your body, in your chest, in your heart, and on the exhale, let it go. Opening your mind and your heart more. Just breathe into that feeling in your body. Let it go. Take another deep breath in. Let it go. Now just gently ask the anxiety what it needs right now. And just let me know what comes through—to cry out.

It needs to let go. Would you be able to let that cry come out at some point today, if possible? You're open to that. Beautiful. Place your hand on your heart right now. And just let that anxiety know that whenever it shows up, you're just going to breathe with it and you're going to feel it. You're going to feel into it for at least 90 seconds.

How does it feel when you say that to it?

KIM: It doesn't believe me.

GABBY: Okay. That makes a lot of sense that it wouldn't believe you. How did it feel when we just did the breathing exercise?

KIM: Good.

Good. So, let it talk to the part that feels good now. Let that good feeling be a muscle memory to choose to check in, to breathe into that feeling of anxiety for 90 seconds and let it cry.

How do you feel about me saying that to you?

KIM: Calmer.

GABBY: Beautiful. Excellent. Excellent.

KIM: The fears, it was fear that got in the way.

GABBY: Yeah. We just did IFS. We just did the check-in process. You chose to check in rather than override the anxiety, you became conscious of where it was in your body, you gave it breath, you asked it what it needed, it said, I need to cry.

And then you said, “I feel calm.” Calm is one of the C qualities of self. So the second that you said, “I feel calm,” I knew self-energy is with you now. So all throughout the day, my love, if you practice this, it will change your life.

KIM: Thank you.

GABBY: I'm telling you. Really take that in, please.

KIM: I absolutely will.

GABBY: The younger part, the anxious part, they're not going to believe that you can help them because they don't believe that anyone can help them.

They didn't have help as children, right? But that's okay because you're going to keep checking in and checking in and checking in. The more you check in. Become curious. Compassionately connect. The more they will believe you. You got that, baby?

KIM: Absolutely, Gabby. Thank you so much. Happy days.

GABBY: Yes, girlfriend.

Happy days, my love. It's a good crowd today.

AMY: Hello. I've got some light news that I just wanted to share with everybody here.

GABBY: Right on.

AMY: Thank you, Gabby, so much for sharing your gift. Follow your journey and I literally take on what you bring every day in my life I am an Australian fashion designer.

GABBY: I was gonna say you look really cute like whatever the vibe is.

AMY: I just thought I'd give you a brief rundown. I’m 38 years old mum of two been in the fashion industry for 18 years And yeah, the reason why I'm telling you this, I bought the last VIP ticket today. As soon as purchased, it was sold out. There were so many things leading to this. For coming here today.

Yeah, literally four months ago, my husband has been diagnosed with CTE, which is, it's like a memory loss for athletes.

For me, everything, like you would say, it gets thrown at you so that you can go to the next level and break free to be who you should become. And as soon as that happened, I started meditating and walking every morning at 5:30 in the morning. And I need somebody who's already there, like to where I want to be to help bring up my family.

Like if I've got to look after my husband as well. My best friend actually works for Camilla Franks. The reason for this story. I just manifested in the last three months. Every morning, I’d be up and need somebody in that high level that I could work with or do something with to help get my brand there.

Like 18 years, self-made, self-funded. It's hard in the fashion industry to get to that level and just today, getting the last ticket, I just felt like timing, divine timing will bring us together when it's meant to be. And today, you got on stage in Camilla and...

GABBY: What was your name again?

AMY: I'm Amy Taylor.

GABBY: Amy Taylor. That's a great lesson that I want to teach you today. So, you just teed me up perfectly. Thank you very much. Amy Taylor, first of all...

AMY: Sorry about the story, but yeah.

GABBY: No, don't be sorry. It's exactly what we needed to hear. So, what Amy's saying is... when the universe gives us our Camillas, like for her, it's Camilla, right?

Like, this is who she wants to be instead of comparing herself to Camilla and being like, Oh, Gabby's wearing Camilla. Why is she not wearing Amy Taylor? Whatever her story could have been. Right? She looked and she was like, Oh my God, the universe is hooking me up right now. Camilla Franks is in the house.

And so, that's what I call driftwood. So when you have a desire, let's say to have a baby, and you start seeing all your friends getting pregnant, typically we might be like, Oh, I'm not pregnant. They are. What if instead you saw that as driftwood? As a sign from the universe that you are indeed on the right track, that what you see in that other person is a reflection of what's possible and what's inside of you now.

Yesterday in Melbourne, a young woman said, “You know, I'm comparing myself to you, Gabby.” And I said, “Oh, you have so much courage to say that in front of this audience.” And I said, “Get your ass up on the stage.”

And so she came up on the stage. I had the whole audience give her a standing ovation. And in that moment, I said, this feeling right now, that's your driftwood.

She had the willingness to be brave and courageous and say, you know, I'm comparing myself and she was willing to change her mind about it. And so what happens? She gets on the stage and she gets to experience that energy. She is not in a place of comparison, not in a place of lack. She's in a place of manifestation.

Amy's been doing this work. She's been vibrating at a high frequency. She's not seeing Camilla as a competitor. She's not seeing her other contemporaries as competitors. She's opened her heart and then boom, there's the driftwood. It works. Are you with me? Yes.

KIM: Thank you.

GABBY: Yes. Yes. So that's a very different way of living, right?

So when we see life... And these moments that we, we sort of turn things upside down. We see, Oh, that's a typical area where I might compare, but instead of comparing, what if I saw that as driftwood, or I'm going through such a difficult time as we heard before, but what if instead I saw that our green lady right over there, what if I chose to see that as my spiritual awakening?

What if I chose to see my diagnosis as my opportunity to get closer to God? What if I was able to see my addiction as my chance to heal my trauma once and for all, what if I saw my lack mentality as a chance to start to develop an abundant energy? What if we chose to see our possibilities? You could be going through the most difficult circumstances and choose to heal versus choose to be the victim.

And so it's not that we ignore or override the difficult experiences in our life, because clearly that's not what I'm asking of you. But what I am asking of you is the moment that you choose to heal. That you walk into a door like this with the willingness to learn and grow the humility to heal, the humility to grow.

That is enough to put you in a better vibration. Abraham Hicks talks about the vibrational emotional scale. So right at the bottom of that scale could be, I don't remember exactly off the top of my head, it's like despair, right? But the top of the scale is like joy. Okay, so you're not going to go from despair to joy overnight, and nor do I want you to.

That's not what I'm teaching you here. But maybe you go from despair to befriending the despair and you start to feel a little bit more hopeful. And then you start to do a little bit more personal growth work and you see some adjustments happening and you start to feel a little bit maybe like bored with your life.

Boring is better than despair. Do you see what I'm saying? So you start to reach your way up that ladder. You could go from hope back down to boring, but it's still not despair. And so we just keep reaching and reaching and reaching up that ladder to the next better vibration and the next better vibration isn't, “I'm in despair, now I'm in joy.”

It's, “I'm in despair and you know what, maybe I'm a little bored. Boring feels better than despair. And now I'm a little bit hopeful because I have a tool that Gabby gave me.”

Everybody following? Excellent. Is there a man that I'm hearing?

CAM: Yes, there is.

GABBY: Okay, let's hear it from the man. It's a rare occasion.

CAM: Hello, Gabby, I'm Cam. Lovely to meet you and welcome. Thank you.

GABBY: Hi, gorgeous.

CAM: I'd just say, first of all, thank you very much for following your divine path. And helping so many, including myself every single morning, five minute meditation, definitely changed my life. So thank you. This, I just want to give a quick shout out to the men in this room.

GABBY: Yeah.

CAM: Whether you're, whether you're supporting, or whether you're following your own spiritual journey, be ever so f-ing proud of that. Because what you're doing, I work in mental health. And what you're doing is you're setting an incredible platform in masculinity and the future to be vulnerable and to help the youngsters and old to make sure that it is okay to be vulnerable.

And like you said, Gabby, just how important it is. This world needs that. Males definitely need that. So I just want a huge round of applause for the men in this room. Well done.

GABBY: And I'll just add to that, even though I was joking around before and I said f**k them about my husband telling me not to say f**k. My husband's the CEO of our company. And he runs a team of predominantly women, a few guys there. And to have a man behind this business is a really big deal because you not only have that different brain working with you, but you also have this energy that's being infused into a business that's touching many women.

And so I just want to acknowledge my husband right now. I hope he's listening.

CAM: I absolutely love that.

GABBY: He's working our business.

CAM: I absolutely love that, because you know what's so funny? Is that I've just become the GM of my wife's business Figure Shapewear. So, she's changing the world of shapewear and body positivity. So I'm so very, very proud of you.

GABBY: Go girl.

CAM: My question, on a different path, is that that inner child that we, that we're trying to connect to, that we, there's trauma there, that we're trying to work out.

How do we then not pass on those wounds or that wisdom to our children, our physical children, as a parent?

GABBY: Do the work. Keep doing what you're doing. The more I tend to my parts, the better a parent I am. The better a parent I am to my children inside, the better a parent I am to my son. The exact same parenting methods that I've trained in and applied for my child, I do for my own inner children.

Dan Siegel, Dr. Becky, Dr. Elisa, all the practices that I apply, which I'm happy to teach some of them to you today. My son is the great beneficiary of these practices, but the first child that receives them is all the children in here. The same process that I taught you today, the check-in process, do it with your children.

So your child has a freak out, they melt down. As soon as they feel a little bit more calm, create that moment of checking in with them. Check in, ask them if you have their permission to just be present with what they're feeling. Become curious. What are you feeling right now? What does it feel like? Empathy.

Oh, yeah, I've had that feeling. Mommy's had that feeling. And what do you, what do you want to, what do you, what do you need right now? How can I help you? Okay. Check in. Curious. Connect. Master it for yourself, you'll master it for your child.

CAM: So it's not just giving them the chocolate that they're after.

GABBY: You can do that too.

Honestly, that works too. My kid literally, all he's eaten since he's been here is like croissants, challah bread, and like chocolate. Yeah. When in Australia.

CAM: Incredible. Thank you, Gabby.

GABBY: Thank you, baby. Let's get some music going. Let's pump up this crowd with some high vibe music. Let's bring it in.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you're truly committed to miracles. I'm really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode.

Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me, so I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media at @GabbyBernstein.

And if you wanna get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby’d live deargabby.com. See you next week.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.