the 5 steps to spiritual surrender

9 mins read
hero image spiritual connection

I’m so excited to share this talk with you. I gave this talk on Oprah’s SuperSoul Sessions.

It’s one of the most vulnerable talks I’ve ever given.

It’s also one of the most powerful.

In this talk I share a deeply personal and emotional experience, one that was really hard for me to go through.

But it culminated in a moment of amazing spiritual surrender.

how I struggled with spiritual surrender

Right around the time I began writing The Universe Has Your Back, my husband and I began trying to conceive. I had planned it all perfectly. I wanted to get pregnant right away and then cut back on traveling so that I could relax at home while working on the book.

I was very committed to this plan. I canceled speaking engagements, turned down big opportunities and freed up my time. My goals were set and the plan was tight.

But there was one problem: I didn’t get pregnant. Month after month I’d rearrange my goals and expectations to stay on course with my pregnancy plans. I felt strongly that I was meant to be a mother, and I couldn’t release the plan. I became obsessed with the timing.

My need to control the plan totally cut off my communication with the Universe. I judged myself for not getting pregnant and I harbored a terrible fear that it would never happen.

how I found spiritual surrender

After attending a party surrounded by new mothers and pregnant friends, I was feeling especially low. With some guidance from my friend Jordan, I realized that I’d been blocking love with fear and with my need to control.

I turned to the love of the Universe for healing.

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I prayed and asked for help in releasing my own plan and accepting a plan far greater. In the stillness following my prayer, I heard my inner voice say, “Your plans are in the way of God’s plan.” I accepted this message as a new Universal assignment.

Have you ever wondered how some people can be so confident? You know those folks who trust life and go with the flow? I find that these people have one thing in common: a strong spiritual foundation. Listen to this episode of Dear Gabby to learn how you can cultivate your spiritual connection, let go of control and boost your confidence. Plus, you’ll hear my method to stop the spiral of negative thoughts and my number one breath practice for instantly reducing stress. 

fixating on goals blocks divine guidance

As humans, we love to set goals and make plans. Most of the time it’s smart to do this. But when we fixate too much on achieving our goals and sticking to our plans, we get in our own way. We think that we know what’s best. We relentlessly pursue the path of our ego. And we do it at the expense of our connection with the Universe.

This behavior keeps us from manifesting what is of the highest good for all. In order to allow the presence of love to shine upon every area of our life, we must remember that hope never rests.

Hope is the energy that carries us when we lose sight of our spiritual faith. Hope reminds us of the power of love and clears the path toward the highest good for all.

the 5 steps to spiritual surrender

Can you relate to my story in some way? Are you struggling to control something in your life? Do you have a hard time going with the flow?

Embrace your own Universal assignment and welcome the profound spiritual growth you are about to experience! Follow my five steps to spiritual surrender and let the Universe support you.

Step 1

take your hand off the wheel through prayer

When you feel fear, that’s a sure sign you’re relying on your own strength instead of the strength of the Universe. The Universe is always ready to support you, but it won’t step in until you step aside. So surrender through prayer.

The secret to prayer is to forget what you think you need. Do not pray for a specific outcome. Ask the Universe to show you what you need. Ask for the highest good.

Step 2

appreciate what’s thriving

Instead of focusing on goals and the outcomes you want, redirect your focus on what you do have. Celebrate everything beautiful in your life. Tell the people close to you how much you love and appreciate them. Take time each day to devote your attention to what is already thriving in your life.

Remember, joy is the ultimate creator. When we vibrate at the frequency of joy, we attract everything we need. Dr. Wayne Dyer opens the first principle of Manifest Your Destiny with this:

within you is a divine capacity to manifest and attract all that you need or desire

By aligning with joy and appreciation, we activate this divine capacity. The combination of having fun and appreciating what’s thriving makes you a magnet for miracles!

Step 3

recognize that obstacles are detours in the right direction

For me, what seemed to be an obstacle was actually a detour toward my greatest healing. I had healing work I had to do to become a mother, and through the steps of spiritual surrender I was able to uncover the dark shadows that needed to be brought to the light.

Always trust the direction of the Universe and know you’re being guided toward love.

what happens when you choose to see obstacles as detours in the right direction

When you choose to see your obstacles as detours in the right direction, you can begin to find a deeper meaning and personal growth amidst the discomfort. Maybe you can connect to a higher purpose, make a real connection to someone or even be set on a path that will change the course of your life in a positive way.

All obstacles that are perceived with love can be transformed into the greatest life lessons.

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When you practice spiritual surrender, you can detach from outcomes and trust the detours.

Step 4

ask the universe for a sign

I spent a year not trying to conceive and instead focusing on myself. But when I began to put my attention back on my goal, I noticed my old need to control come back. So I practiced these steps and centered back into the Universe. I surrendered through prayer and focused on what was thriving.

One afternoon I saw five wild turkeys outside my window. Later that evening, during my meditation, I received an intuitive message to look up the meaning of coming across turkeys. So I did my research and learned that they represent fertility!

The Universe will give you signs and winks if you ask for them. Ask for a sign and pay attention to what you receive.

Be in wonder of the guidance all around you!

Step 5

when you think you’ve surrendered, surrender more

Faith is a muscle. You strengthen it through constant contact with God. All too often what happens is that when we get spiritual, we start feeling really good — to the point that we think we no longer need those daily practices. Spiritual surrender becomes a thing of the past.

But there’s a reason it’s called a practice. So practice surrendering every day. Because when we are certain that we are being supported, we can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety.

Begin now with a simple prayer from the metaphysical text A Course in Miracles. You can say this prayer every morning:

Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say? And to whom?

Enjoy the practice of spiritual surrender. It will give you so much comfort and relief. You will be able to relax knowing that you are being taken care of. You’ll begin to trust in a plan far greater than your own. The Universe will lead you to creative solutions and miraculous experiences. Let go and receive.

an update to my story of spiritual surrender

I had no idea that my desire to be a mother would inspire great healing, recovery and personal growth. Through this experience I truly learned the meaning of surrender. Most importantly, I learned that before I could be a mother I had to learn how to mother myself.

When I thought I’d surrendered, I surrendered more.

When I tried to control, I returned to my spiritual foundation.

When I felt helpless I let God work through healers, friends, doctors, acupuncturists and my husband to be my guides.

It was my commitment to surrender that guided me every step of the way.

Surrendering my plans showed me that the Universe has a better plan and timeline than my own. I learned to see my obstacle as an opportunity for great healing and spiritual growth. My commitment to show up for my personal, physical and emotional healing helped me create a healthy environment to bring a child into the world.

This journey has been nothing short of a miracle. Surrendering my time and my plans to a power greater than me gave me great faith. It’s that faith that helped me to conceive. In December 2018 I welcomed my baby boy, Oliver, into the world.

As you practice these steps, you will strengthen that relationship. The more you ask for guidance, the more guidance you will receive.

Your commitment to this way of living will unleash the presence of your power and help you relinquish the need to control so you can relax into a sense of certainty and freedom.

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