how to release resistance and attract everything you want

8 mins read
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The topic of resistance is one of my core teachings.

When I say “resistance,” I mean resistance to happiness. Resistance to freedom. Resistance to the love of the Universe.

Our resistance is the reason we stay stuck in patterns that keep us from thriving. In this post, I’m going to explore how and why we resist and share my 4-step method to release resistance with joy and ease.

the key to attracting what we want is to release resistance

The key to attracting everything we want is to release the resistance to love. As I say in Judgment Detox, in the absence of resistance you become like a magnet for more greatness. This is your attracting power. When you feel good and align with love, your energy sends out a signal to the Universe. Your energy vibrates the clear message that you’re aligned with joy and you welcome more if it.

When you accept this state of being, the Universe can work on your behalf. You’ll think of something you’d like to call into your life and it will appear. Old issues that used to confound you will no longer show up in your life. Problems and obstacles will naturally resolve themselves quickly. And you’ll feel a connection to everything and everyone around you.

One of the most powerful ways to release resistance is to heal judgment of all kinds.

When you release resistance, you become a magnet for greatness.


When you dedicate your life to releasing resistance, you accept the love of who you are. In that state of love you’ll feel more supported and aligned with what you desire. Life becomes fun and it flows. Love is your natural inheritance, and the Universe responds effortlessly to it. The vibration of love is so strong it has the capacity to change your worldview and your entire living experience.

why do we have so much resistance?

I know it seems strange to think that we actually resist love, happiness and freedom. But as Marianne Williamson famously wrote in A Return to Love, “It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”

We resist love because we have an ego. The ego is the opposite of love. It’s fear, judgment, separation and attack. We’ve grown to rely on the ego as our source of safety and security.

The truth is, we’re far more comfortable in a state of fear than in a place of joy and faith. We’ve learned to rely on fear as a way of protecting ourselves from being disappointed, hurt or triggered.

We think, “If I were to lean on love, who would I be? How would I protect myself?” We don’t trust in the safety and protection of the Universe because we’ve been programmed to believe in the fears of the world. Many of us also struggle to put our faith in a higher power because it’s not something we can see.

how we try to control our lives

We have different ways of trying to control our lives. Some people know they have “control freak” tendencies (like me) whereas others have a harder time understanding that they, too, try to control.

Some of the ways we try to control include…

  • Being so committed to a goal or outcome that we bulldoze everything in order to achieve it
  • Scheduling and planning every detail of our days
  • Trying to “fix” other people or get them to see and do things our way, instead of accepting them for who they are
  • Numbing out with drugs, alcohol, work, sex, self-destructive actions and other addictive patterns — this is a sneaky way of controlling because you’re trying to control your mood or avoid feelings or situations that scare you
  • Praying for certain outcomes instead of praying for the highest good for all

how resistance manifests in our lives

In the video below I outline some of the ways that resistance manifests in our lives:

Resistance to love shows up in many different forms, such as addictive patterns, denying yourself joy, chronic stress, physical conditions and avoidance. They are all ways we attempt to protect ourselves instead of placing our faith in the protection of the Universe.

what we resist will persist

Stepping into the light can be scary because it requires healing, learning and changing. We have to be willing to look at our patterns, witness our judgment, honor our fear and surrender to spiritual guidance.

We don’t have to release resistance. We always have a choice. But as long as we resist love, we will continue to struggle.

how to release resistance to attract everything you want: 4 steps

If you’re ready to begin releasing resistance, follow the four steps below. Step into the light and know that you are protected and guided by the Universe at all times.

Step 1

acknowledge your resistance

The first step to breaking free from resistance is to acknowledge it. We have to recognize that while our loving miracle mindset longs to be at peace, our fearful ego says, “I don’t want to be free. I don’t want to give up judgment. I don’t want to release control.”

When we accept that we are addicted to fear, we can let ourselves off the hook for anything in the past and for the detours into fear we will continue to make on our spiritual path. We can forgive ourselves for holding onto old patterns.

acknowledge your resistance to love

Resistance will continue to show up in our lives. That’s okay. Just acknowledge it and forgive it so you can return to love fast. Once you have acknowledged your resistance, you are ready for step 2.

Step 2

surrender to spiritual guidance

We have been programmed to believe in the fears of the world. One of the most common ways we believe in the world’s fears and, as a result, resist love is by trying to control our lives. Check out this clip from my SuperSoul Sessions lecture:

Believing in love requires a mental reprogramming. When you surrender your plans and release control, you allow the voice of your intuition and the energy of love to be your guide.

Welcome this guidance with a prayer of surrender:

Today I surrender my goals and plans to the care of the Universe. I offer up my agenda and accept spiritual guidance. I trust that there is a plan far greater than mine. I know that where there once was lack and limitation there are spiritual solutions and creative ideas. I step back and let love lead the way. Thy will be done.

Step 3

release judgment

In many cases, judgment has been our greatest defense mechanism. We have used it to defend against our vulnerability. We fear that if we let our guard down and act compassionately and lovingly toward one another that we’ll be taken advantage of and no longer be safe.

The more conscious we become of how we use judgment to “play it safe,” the more we realize how unsafe it really is. We can begin to see how judgment breeds more judgment.

When we attempt to protect ourselves with judgment, we create more separation and deepen our disconnection from love.

Love can seem far scarier to us than fear. We’re terrified to let love in because we fear that when we do we’ll be susceptible to more pain. But love is the antidote to judgment. Love heals all.

Step 4

proactively choose joy

We have a sacred responsibility to lean toward joy. The more joyful we are, the more light we can shine upon the world.

When we lean toward joy we raise our vibrational frequency, which gives us the energy necessary to show up and serve. Joy is the inspiration behind creative solutions for seemingly hopeless problems. It provides us with generosity so we can give more where there is need.

When you’re in a state of joy you leave a positive imprint on every being in the world.


Learn how to get into the stream of well-being and choose joy!

releasing resistance activates your super attractor power

One of the biggest blocks to being a Super Attractor is our resistance to feeling good. In order to claim everything you attract, you need to welcome worthiness and happiness. You need to accept that struggle and pain aren’t required for growth, success or a meaningful life. It’s good to feel good!

In the absence of resistance you’ll become a magnet for what you desire and you’ll feel the energy of love supporting you in every aspect of your life. In this place of nonresistance you can reconnect to your true love nature and be in tune with the vibration of the Universe. You’ll become a Super Attractor.

Follow these steps today and begin to release your resistance to the presence of love within you.

get more guidance
join me for the Manifesting Challenge and attract your greatest desires in 21 days—starts January 1
Gabby Bernstein's 21 day Manifesting Challenge

Here’s what you’ll get:

  • Manifesting practices to supercharge your energy and make you a MAGNET for your desires
  • Easy-to-follow lessons to learn how to master the Law of Attraction and co-create with the Universe in real time
  • High-frequency meditations to raise your vibration and open your heart to receive the gifts of the Universe
  • PLUS a Manifesting Ritual on Day 21 to close out the challenge

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